Do you fantasize about being a big, bad, dangerous dude? (not to attract women)
I look like a weak, polite, nice dude to strangers.
But sometimes I fantasize about looking dangerous. Not even for women, fuck them, I don't fantasize about this for women at all. Like I fantasize just walking down the street, everybody looking at you knowing you are a bad motha fucka. If I did that not even my baldness would matter. Nor my missing front teeth where the fillings keep fucking falling. Just a bad fucker who looks gnarly.
But I'm just a weak introvert who has to be polite cause he's so anxious of any consequences. And tbh I seem to have too much empathy and conscience, guess my parents raised me that way. I'm empathetic despite hating humanity in general. Doesn't do me any favors though.
Also I my body is a piece of shit lol. By now I'm really unhealthy, got several problems. But even as a teen I was weak. I went to the gym for like 4 months and saw no progress, literally none. Never could even do a pull up. And tbh to look the way I fantasize I'd have to get on steroids and that's a no go for many reasons, my fucked heart would blow up and tbh it's pricey too.
If I was like that I wouldn't be so anxious at least. Damn, I'm agoraphobic by now. Can't walk down the street without fearing I'll be seen by somebody that used to know me or heard about my many public embarrassments.