I am white, and I am anti racist, and I’ve got nothing to feel guilty about. When I realize I’ve been doing something I didn’t know was problematic, you know what I do? I stop doing it! And I try to educate other white people that whatever behavior is problematic. And guess what? Poof!!! No guilt! It magically goes away!!
I’ve also been the person who’s told others their behavior is problematic in ways that directly affect communities I’m a member of. I’ve told people that their behavior is sexist, or ableist, or LGBT-phobic, or anti neurodivergent, etc.
Something I’ve noticed is that when I tell straight able-bodied neurotypical white men that their behavior is problematic, I get more pushback, and usually in the form of “you just want me to feel guilty!” Bla bla bla… No, I actually don’t want you to feel guilty, I want you to STOP THE BULLSHIT BEHAVIOR. That’s truly all I want, and all most oppressed people want. We don’t really even care how you feel about it, we don’t want to oppress you to get you back, we just don’t want to be oppressed anymore.
It’s honestly got very little to do with you being white, it’s how you act and use your “whiteness”. The reason we don’t like “it’s ok to be white” is, at least in the US and Europe, it’s always been ok to be white. It has not always been ok to be anything else. The reason we bristle when you say “white pride” but don’t have problems with “black pride”, “Jewish pride”, “gay pride”, etc, is because white pride has a history of violence associated with it, and those other things don’t. Also, historically no one’s told white people they can’t be proud, but lots of times other groups have been told they have to be ashamed of who they are.
I know you won’t read this and even if you do, you likely won’t understand what I’m saying at all. And I also know this isn’t even about you understanding anything, it’s really about you wanting everyone else to stop demanding things we deserve and just take care of you and put your comfort first like we have always had to do in the past. I’m not going to do it anymore, and I don’t give a shit about your guilt.