What scares me is the big bully TIM would probably think he could put his hand on MY neck too, because it would be "woman on woman" -- men in dresses are scarier to me than regular men.

When I see a regular man, I assume he watches a lot of brutal porn and wouldn't care if I got run over by a truck because I'm not "young, beautiful, and fertile" nor am I his mom. But I don't assume he deeply hates me because I'm a woman. I also don't assume he would physically assault me if I called him a name. He'd probably just call me something vulgar and walk away.

When I see an "It's Ma'am," I know 100% he HATES me because I'm a woman. And he would freak out and start kicking things over if I called him a name.