Beverage Pretending To Be Beer Features Man Pretending To Be Woman

U.S. — In a match made in heaven, a beverage that tries to pass itself as beer has hired as its spokesperson a man trying to pass himself off as a woman.

"For decades, we've been putting carbonated backwash in a beer can and pretending it's beer," said Anheuser-Busch CEO Brendan Whitworth. "Who better to represent our brand than a guy throwing on a dress and pretending he's a woman?"

Long a staple drink of people who hate actual beer, Bud Light felt putting Dylan Mulvaney's face on a can would also attract people who hate actual women. "As a man acting out the most horrendously offensive stereotypes of women, Mulvaney taps into the soul of people who despise real women," said Mr. Whitworth. "As a company dedicated to serving those who detest real beer, the partnership made perfect sense. The new beer can just shouts, 'Come, enjoy this atrocious substitute for the real thing'."

While a few in the media questioned the move, so far Bud Light fans have welcomed drinking out of a can featuring the face of a guy with a little girl fetish. "It really completes the experience," said Bud Light fan Mason Olsen. "If that dude with his massive jaw can pretend to be a little girl - well, I can pretend this is real beer. It's pretty inspiring."

At publishing time, activists had resumed calling for America to stop keeping trans people invisible.