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The Babylon Bee #fundie babylonbee.com

(The Babylon Bee is a Christian Satire Website)

'We Are Living In A Totalitarian Nightmare,' Says Protester Freely Without Any Fear Of Government Retribution

WASHINGTON, D.C.—During a recent string of protests in Washington, one protester told reporters that "we are living in a totalitarian nightmare just like in The Handmaid's Tale," making the statement with absolutely no possibility of the government kidnapping and torturing her for her outspokenness.
The woman drew on her guaranteed free speech rights to state that "this government is like something out of a totalitarian dystopia," as police stood by guarding to ensure her and her fellow protesters' right to protest was protected.
"Women literally have no rights," she said. "And we're losing more each and every day." She also said that her uterus has fewer rights than guns, though she admitted her uterus doesn't need a license, government registration, or a background check.
"This is exactly like The Handmaid's Tale," she said for the seventh time that morning, though she was wearing the handmaid's uniform entirely of her own free will and would shortly change into her regular clothes before returning to her home to rewatch the series on Hulu.
At publishing time, she told reporters she would love to draw further comparisons to dystopian fiction novels other than The Handmaid's Tale, but she hadn't read any.

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The Babylon Bee #fundie babylonbee.com

(Note that this is intended to be satire)

U.S.—Sources from within the United States confirmed Friday that American society, while typically rejecting concepts like absolute truth and objective moral standards, is suddenly showing grave concern for the rise of fabricated news stories after a reported uptick in fake news during the recent election season and President Trump’s habit of using the term to describe many mainstream media outlets.

One Oregon man, who rejects the idea that humanity can even be sure the universe exists in any meaningful sense, was nonetheless disturbed by the idea that websites could publish completely false information, for anyone in the world to read.
“It’s just absolutely wrong, in my opinion,” said the man who doesn’t believe in absolute ideals of right and wrong at all. “What if someone reads the information and gets like, deceived? That just seems totally wicked.”
“It just doesn’t seem right that they can publish stuff that’s just blatantly not true,” added the man, who also noted his firm belief that everyone has the right to define their own version of truth.
Other Americans agreed, stating that the idea that shady news sites could get away with reporting completely inaccurate information was “disturbing” and “evil,” before stressing their belief that no one individual’s notions about morality are absolute or binding in any meaningful sense.
Tech conglomerates such as Facebook and Google have vowed to meet the trend head-on, assuring the public that they are taking bold steps to filter out any news that contradicts the version of truth that they decide is acceptable.