A man can, in fact, live off a diet of raw meat. They have done it before, and there presently exist men who are doing it at this very moment. Now, I only take my meat raw on rare (haha) occasion, but I applaud any man who can eat meat like this regularly – a fine display of old world, masculine zest if there ever was one.

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I am defending a WAY OF LIFE from the verbal slings and arrows of ineffectual intellectuals and other assorted effete pointy-headed snobs who are, in a likelihood, more concerned with the aesthetic dimension behind consuming raw meat than they are with the actual nature of the act in itself. The very thought of some betesticled man’s man, oozing testosterone and animal magnetism as he bites into his dinner with ursine hunger just makes your kind go flailing back into your drawing rooms, fan in hand and couch in perfect position for you to faint on as you contemplate what “horrors” have just vexed your delicate little nerves. This whole thing has little to do with the actual health of the men in question, it boils down to the fact that they reject your Bismarckian pretensions and make a mockery of your obsessive desire to use whatever “facts” you deem appropriate to impose order on people you see as your inferiors, you people who show up to a boxing match with a Jeopardy buzzer. You can’t take the man out of the man.

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I will not be getting E. Coli, however much it might please you for the inverse to be true, because, as I’ve delineated above, men who have properly trained their immune systems are unlikely to acquire any sort of lethal or exceptionally cumbersome malady. The safety rules which you have tried to foist upon me with your condescending wiles were made for more delicate sorts of people, such as the one you see in the mirror. I will not likely be getting ANY kind of disease to “own the libs” I will own them precisely by doing that which they insist, from their ivory tower perches, is impossible for me and my kind to do. Keep chortling, Nagglefart.