David Wright #kinkshaming #dunning-kruger #crackpot web.archive.org

What is love, actually? What is love being misunderstood as?
Love explained


Theory:
Love is an anti-sexual feeling
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First of all, I know all of this by experience. I have been in love multiple times before, and I am as certain as one could ever be, that what I felt was love. It was amazing. It was an experience of quality, and definetely something that everyone deserves to feel and understand. ...Which they clearly don't.
Though I never succeeded at getting into a relationship, I have been close, and I have felt what it would be like to have a girlfriend, without being in doubt about anything.

Okay let's begin...
Love is the most effective feeling against sexual thoughts. The idea of thinking sexual thoughts have never been more distant, and for once, revealingly demotivating, than that very moment of quality when you're in love. On top of that, being in love also makes you feel alive and very emotional, whether it's the happy kind, or the sad kind where you're missing that person.

Love is basically two things:
• Emotional and
• Anti-sexual

Couples who are having sex is just as misunderstood about love as couples who claim to not feel emotional about their relationship. I'm having a hard time respecting people who can't see the logic in this, who choose to have sex with that very special "loving" partner that they claim to love. B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T...
If you haven't felt this kind of emotional and anti-sexual feeling before, then you are unexperienced with romantic love, and you shouldn't be allowed to have a girlfriend/boyfriend.
If you haven't felt this kind of emotional and anti-sexual feeling before, then you are unexperienced with romantic love, and then you probably haven't found that one and only person yet. But don't worry... once that happens, you'll know EXACTLY what I mean.


But how come our relationship seems to work out so well, when we're having sex?
Because you're confused about whether you're having a nonromantic sexual relationship, or a romantic nonsexual relationship. I'll get to that later... But keep in mind that you two WANTED eachother. You are simply partners. I prefer to call that "natural attraction". However, the day you realise what it would be like to have a LOVER then you will not want to think about having a simple partner anymore. Until then, please don't abuse the word "love" again. It's a strong word that one should simply not condescend with something as silly as sex.
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Okay, so let's bring up some facts:

• You can have a romantic non-sexual relationship.
• You can have a non-romantic sexual relationship.
• You can have a non-romantic non-sexual relationship.
• You cannot have a romantic sexual relationship*

* Such a thing does not exist. Romance is non-sexual. Sex is non-romantic. These two things does not work out together at any time. When you “crush on” someone, your brain sees the non-sexual beauty on someone. Both the inner non-sexual beauty (approachability, intelligence, interest in you, personality, etc.) and the outer non-sexual beauty (look, voice, clothing, and all those things). Basically, every positive thing that you can find on someone that does not include anything sexual. Love is like a magic thing that can vanish ALL sexual feelings and temptations, and replace them with all the non-sexual qualities of that one special person that you’re having a crush on.


The more in love you are with someone, the more inappropriate it feels to think of them in a sexual way. When you’re truly in love, you might even forget that sex is a thing that exists in this world, temporarily! Love is simply the most powerful feeling in the world, and the more you feel it, the more distant the idea of sex becomes. This is why I think EVERY SINGLE PERSON in this world NEEDS to read, and think about this quote: “Love is an anti-sexual feeling” before even talking about, and using the word “love”.

Also, make sure you don't misunderstand my point! If you want to have a child, and reproduce, go ahead and do it! Just make sure my message is clear, and you're doing what you have to do for the right reason ☺
This has nothing to do with religion. I am 100% atheist, and this is nothing but pure knowledge that comes from years of experience with being in love, and being part of the loving nature in mankind.

Think of a girl or a boy that you really like. Maybe your crush, or your girlfriend/boyfriend.
Now imagine that their parents just died in a traffic collision, and now they're standing next to you crying. What would you do? Comfort them, right? This is where, my theory about love really becomes clear. The thought of doing anything sexual to them suddenly becomes very inappropriate. Inappropriate because giving comfort just really doesn't work out with sex, or have anything in common with anything sexual.
That feeling you get, when you decide to comfort someone, is exactly how love is supposed to feel. Love is like wanting to comfort someone all the time, even when they're not sad. Love is also the ability to feel "comfortful" torwards someone who isn't even sad. You can tell that two people really love eachother, when the 'comfortful chemistry' is between them as a standard, and no tragic experience is needed. These are difficult words, but actually, this is precisely what I mean. Sex is just an inappropriate thing when it comes to love. Period.
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Another reason to say that love is an anti-sexual feeling
When you fantasize about someone in a sexual way, you're thinking of them as an object. A sexual object. You may not always think of them as an object, but once you're fantasizing about them in a sexual way, all you see is an object.


Now... love is the exact thing that makes us humans see the PERSON that hides behind a human's body. Love makes us feel the other person's identity, as if it was our own. Love makes us realise that behind another person's body, exists something far more amazing than just an object. If you're actually in love with someone else, then it also means that you will find it wrong to think of them as an object - at any given time.
In other words: You will not think of them in a sexual way, because the personality, and the identity that you see will keep disturbing your sexual thoughts. It is NOT possible to sexually fantasize about someone that you love unless you're really concentraded about not thinking about their personality, and identity. So yes... it IS possible to sexually fantasize about a loved one, but only if you're trying hard to not think about all the things that makes you love them. And honestly... as you get closer and closer to someone that you love, get to know them better and better, this whole idea of thinking sexual thoughts about them WILL become more and more distant. Because you will automatically find it wrong to think of them as an object for sex. THAT'S HOW LOVE WORKS! If you do not feel this way, then you do not feel love, simple as that.


Remember:
" People who find the love of their lives, and then later have sex with them, is like people who buy the most expensive meal in the world, and then soaking it with Heinz Ketchup. "
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Theory: Love is an anti-sexual feeling
Theory proven and confirmed

8 comments

Confused?

So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

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