ANN COULTER'S "THEORY" OF RACCOON FLATULENCE:
79 comments
You see, we have this tiny thing called "evidence".
Where's the evidence for your theory, dear ann?
damn... i knew ann was crazy, but i had no idea she was fundie crazy. it is more evident to me than ever before, that ann coulter will say literally anything as long as she's getting publicity for it.
Horror movie plot. A giant rubber, naked Ann Coulter takes a crap on New York City and across America. Her waste infects the mind and eats away at it like the ebola virus. Oh, her publisher has done that for her. Never mind.
[Throw in enough words like imagine, perhaps, and might have -- and you've got yourself a scientific theory!...That's basically how the argument for evolution goes.]
Not even close. Not. Even. Close.
Take the time to learn a thing or two, Ann. You won't come across looking like such an idiot.
While you're at it, eat a cheese sandwich.
DOCTOR WHOM'S "THEOLOGY" OF RACCOON FLATULENCE:
Fixed.
Oh, Ann...it's not the fact that they don't believe evolution that says that. It's the fact that they screech "GODDIDIT!" in your face when you're trying to explain it to them, and then rant for 45 minutes on how you're going to hell for rejecting God and Jesus and the literal interpretation of the Bible, so when we're wailing in the pit of fire, they might be nice enough to piss on us to provide some water or some such a thing. THAT'S what gets y'all labeled as Fundamentalist Christian Nuts.
Difference is, there's a lot of evidence supporting the Big Bang, but the raccoon fart theory is something completely made up by Ann Coulter.
I highly doubt she takes herself seriously anyway.
No, that's closer to the argument for creationism.
Just replace the raccoon with God, and the farting with speaking.
How about this: God spoke and this created the vast variety of life we see on Earth. And if you don't accept that God spoke the universe into existence and created all life in 6 days a few thousand years ago, you must be an Islamic atheist communist nut who believes a pile of bricks could spontaneously transform into a house in a matter of days. That's basically how the argument for creationism goes.
See?
"Throw in enough words like imagine, perhaps, and might have--and you've got yourself a scientific theory!"
No that's a straw man version of science. In the real (aka non-fundie) world you need evidence, observation, experimentation, a testable hypothesis, peer review to form a theory.
Except, you know, that's not how it goes at all.
OOH
OOH
I GOT A NEW THEORY
IMAGINE A MAGIC MAN IN THE SKY PERHAPS DID IT
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE THIS YOU'RE A SUBHUMAN EVILUTIONIST
That's more like it.
Throw in enough words like imagine, perhaps, and might have -- and you've got yourself a scientific theory! How about this:
Imagine a giant magician called Yahweh made all of life out of nothing by speaking words. And if you don't accept the Magician theory for the origin of life, you must be an atheist nut. That's basically how the argument for Genesis goes.
or this:
Imagine a giant flying wad of spaghetti and meatballs made all of life out of nothing by waving His Noodly Appendage. And if you don't accept Flying Spaghetti Monster theory for the origin of life, you must be an anti-Pastafarian nut. That's basically how the argument for Pastafarianism goes.
or one of these - take your pick:
Creation Myths
This is the same woman who argued with a Canadian reporter, on air, as she insisted that Canada had sent combat troops to Vietnam! I think that when she farts, it goes to fill the vacuum in her skull.
The thing that separates this from ordinary fundy simpleton raving, is that, like Limbaugh, this idiot has the power to push her dumb and evil crap on others and influence others, far more than some wackaloo posting from Arkansas or Indiana. Deregulation FTL!
"And if you don't accept the giant raccoon flatulence theory for the origin of life, you must be a fundamentalist Christian nut who" accepts the giant sky fairy halitosis & dirt theory for the origin of life.
Or, you could be an honest, rational person who admits that no one knows at this point.
Are you an idiot or what Ann? You show the same level of intelligence as the loonies on Rapture Ready. The bible is not meant to be taken literally, it is not a scientific text, and it's usefulness as a guide to anything, other than slavering religious idiocy, is worthless.
If you wish to buy in to the deceit and lies of the creationist movement then I have no hesitation in describing you as an idiot.
The bible contains errors and is inconsistent; a cursory check for yourself will reveal that to be the case. The reduction of a supposed omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent and supernatural powerhouse to that of a mean-spirited, contrary, egocentric and lowly man is banal in the extreme.
I have to conclude that you are a drooling simpleton intent on dragging everybody down to your level.
Look at Straw Ann building her straw man.
If it's no more than a poo-poo joke, it's a good enough argument for Psycho Skank.
Low standards? How about none at all?
I have a theory, too, Ann. I suspect that you are actually a highly intelligent, soft-hearted, open-minded individual, and you're just pulling this act to make money.
Amirite?
@Marc
As if the followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster aren't having enough trouble in their righteous cause to liquidate the occultists of the Invisible Pink Unicorn, now we have to deal with Raccoon Fart Heretics?
We're gonna need more bullets...
Dudes and Ladies, can we tone down the transphobia? She's a right-wing crazy person who spouts utter bullshit on a daily basis.
That's enough! Doesn't matter if she's trans!
Huh? Who would publish this???
A raccoon could fart out better writing than Ann Coulter, who presumably fashioned this via the same method.
I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU!!!
Sorry to sound childish, but if I had the option of punching one person in the face as hard as I could with zero consequences, I'd probably choose this bitch.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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