Privilege at birth displeases wannabe types, and the subject came up rather a lot last week, especially in the Land of the Depraved, where the Bagel Times regards monarchy as antidemocratic and the cause of most human ills, including the common cold, cancer, pimples, varicose veins, and even athlete’s foot. At my own alma mater, the University of Virginia, founded by the greatest of all Americans, Thomas Jefferson, some physically repellent creeps have demanded his name be taken off the beautiful neoclassical buildings he designed. The trouble is that Tom, as we called him in my college fraternity, was a bit antimonarchical himself, having sided with and advised certain colonists, starting with one named George Washington. No, the ugly ones have it in for old Tom because he was sleeping with Sally the slave and even had a couple of kids with her.

Shock, horror! Back in 1789 gents were not supposed to do that with slaves, but my excuse is that she was rather cute. What I’d like to know is what about the poor women who are, or eventually will have to endure, sleeping with those creeps who are anti-Tom, a much worse fate than Sally’s? Woke freaks are known to suffer from halitosis, tiny penises, and absolutely no regard for what women want. My suggestion is that American ladies all become lesbians and get it over with. But let’s get back to privilege, especially the white kind.
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Unburdening the sins of their privilege in public, as some rich halfwit females are doing in the States in order to gain brownie points, is the latest outrage of the #MeToo era. They do it at length and in public and in breathless detail, but the skin-crawling and ridiculous apologies make unapologetic f— you types like myself look like superior human beings. Privilege is good and healthy, and has given the world most of the things we take for granted. So let’s all emulate our late Queen, who—unlike a couple of her descendants—never apologized for anything in her life.