[From “I’ll be Back Soon, Friends.”]

I apologize for taking a break here

I actually haven’t really taken much of a break, as I’ve been working, but I want to be posting on this website regularly, and I want to make sure that by taking some break time, I am not sending a different message[…]
To be clear, again, because apparently it was not previously clear, I will not be doing regular news updates as I did before, but will write some essays and humor stuff. For example, I almost wrote something about that beautiful gorilla losing her show and how sad I felt seeing her tears, but then I forgot about it. I’ve also been following the Ukraine drama, and have things to say about this

I also have some hilarious jokes, such as in relation to this:
image
[Screenshot of article on Boston Mayor Michelle Wu]
I would say something like “I’d leave that mayor clueless after verbally trampling her Constitution, if you catch my drift”

I would also make edgy “suggestive” comments about other Asian female public figures

Everyone would find it hilarious and very original

I will also obviously need to comment on the downfall of Vologdomor Zyelendskyysisy, which appears to be impending. As well as the other thing. I forget what it was, but there was something else. Maybe that plane crash? They still haven’t released the identities, so I assume if the male was a male (and not an f-to-m trans), he was black

But I’m working on other things, including an autobiography of Elvis. You heard that right. I’m writing an Elvis biography in the first person, which in the canon of my lore, he finishes while sitting on the toilet and dying. It’s going to be really cruel to Priscilla, who truly is the villain of that story. I will publish it without permission from the family, because what are they going to do, sue me?