{NOTE: This is some woman dressed as a cat, not the male Republican politician. Same name, different people (assuming that she actually is called ‘Lindsey Graham’.}

My name is Lindsey Graham, and I am a cat. Meow. Meow. I’m not a woman dressed as a cat. I am a cat. By show of hands, I’m curios how many of you believe and confess that I’m a cat? Great. By show of hands how many of your child or a child from this school would believe that I’m actually a cat? No one? You are right. Why? Because you are not stupid and these children are not stupid. Truth prevails over imagination, reality exists, discernment is innate and something we are biologically wired to have. One look at me and you know this to be true, I am a woman posing as a cat. You also believe, correctly, that if I truly believe I am a cat, I have a mental disorder. If I suffer from a mental disorder and am unable to discern reality, am I safe to be around children? Would you put me in charge of making decisions about the safety and well being of children and the direction of their education when I cannot even discern truth from fiction? Confession, I’m not actually a cat just because I say I am. You have not agreed to or committed to addressing me as a cat just because I demand it. No tail whiskers or outfit makes me a cat. Just like no lipstick, high heels or long hair makes him a man, a woman. It is as biologically impossible for me to be a cat as it is for a man to be a woman.