This is going to sound really negative, but fuck it, it's what I think.

Modern progressive relationship notions are incompatible with traditional romantic love. In traditional romantic love, a person who is dumped is not gone, the relationship is simply paused for the inevitable reunion, as of course "If it's true love they'll come back to you". In progressive ideals, a person is their own and cannot be kept as such. In traditional romantic love, sex is spontaneous and often established through nonverbal and unenthusiastic consent. In modern progressive ideals, anything short of enthusiastic consent is not good enough. In traditional romantic love, there are no boundaries regarding appropriateness and power structures ("Love knows no bounds"). In modern progressive ideals, a person shouldn't engage in romance with another person if society is structured a certain way (i.e. if one is the boss or teacher of the other, etc.).

What this boils down to is that modern progressive ideals are simply not compatible with all people. This is a really big problem, in my opinion. The norms have been crafted around what appeals to middle-to-upper class white feminists, based around a hyper-advanced understanding of oppression structures and an overarching desire to fight them. When a feminist gives the advice "Don't romantically approach women at work", the advice is not designed to help them attain a relationship, but rather to further social progress. If the advice were solely based on attaining a relationship, then the workplace, being one of the primary places where romantic relationships form, couldn't be discounted as a place to take action. To put it bluntly, this advice is not about doing well in the current reality, it's about changing the reality to a more ideal one.

I mean, I'm in a very progressively-structured relationship. I as the man do the housework and work less, I make less, and am generally the carer as opposed to the provider. My girlfriend works more, gets paid more, and does less housework as a result. I'm sitting here in pink pajama pants while I type this. But we also both have an established understanding that the other is not allowed to leave the relationship, and that any attempts to do so will result in stalking and an eternally persistent effort to make sure they can't be with anyone else. According to modern progressive notions, this is wrong, as we should both feel free to leave the relationship at any time.

We need to stop pushing this stock-picture-clean version of what an ideal relationship is in a progressive light, and instead start looking at actual examples of how these kinds of relationships pan out. If Jane and Jim break up and Jim is feigning that's it's hunky dory because he doesn't want Jane to feel confined or pressured, but then later goes and cries for days or slits his wrists, that's a problem and we aren't making the world a better place by mindlessly doling out the advice that Jim should just be okay with it.

we should advice Jim to seek professional help.

Or maybe we should instead try to think about what we can do to prevent these things from incarnating again, instead of basically pawning Jim off on professionals like the society we create has nothing to do with it.