The Fem’nist Burden: A Satire in the Style of “The White Man’s Burden”

Take up the fem’nist burden!

Assemble women white!

SJWs gather!

Come all ye full of spite

To whine and moan and grumble

About how nothing’s right;

To preach non-stop on justice,

While that’s just what you fight!

Take up the fem’nist burden!

Impose your creed by force!

Decorum’s deconstructed:

Go on, be rude and coarse!

All reason’s patriarchal:

Forget debate—denounce!

Dwell not on means or scruples,

For it’s the goal that counts!

Take up the fem’nist burden—

To spread the faith world-wide

And leave no people helpless,

Though they should run and hide!

Usurp their identity

And colonize anew!

Their culture needs some changing—

A couple wars should do!

Take up the fem’nist burden

And put our minds at ease,

Lest anyone among you

Cis-gendered men appease

By judging based on merit,

Against express decrees

That only race and gender

Ought good employers please!

Take up the fem’nist burden

To rid the world of art,

Replacing every beauty

With some new, stinking fart

Of high-pitched propaganda

To teach us how to act:

Submit to every woman,

Ignore all trace of fact!

Take up the fem’nist burden:

In chastity remain!

Go sacrifice the fam’ly

And parity obtain!

A child needs not a mother—

The help will more than do!

Or better: turn the tables!

Make men the mothers too!

Take up the fem’nist burden!

No loft’yer mountain climb,

No truth or right make sacred,

Before our creed sublime.

Rewrite the books of hist’ry,

All science reconstruct,

To suit our plans for others—

The facts & rights be f****ed!