I look forward to you two finding out about “;no means no”; in, oh, 20 years.
^Guys who take this "no means no" business too seriously get laid a lot less often than those who don't!
A certain amount of coy resistance is inherent in female sexuality, I think--and I don't just mean human females.
A harsh, firm "NO!", and, yeah, I'd probably back off
[Emphasis added]
11 comments
Again, even leaving the moral dimension aside…getting laid more often. But I at least would much rather prefer quality over quantity. And when it comes to finding a companion for life to start a family with, to grow old with, deepening passion and intimacy over the course of many, many nights… or even just sex that is actually pleasurable… or, well, simply not getting into legal trouble eventually … I think the situation is very different…
@Bastethotep #268288
I at least would much rather prefer quality over quantity. And when it comes to finding a companion for life to start a family with, to grow old with, deepening passion and intimacy over the course of many, many nights…
Amen my friend. Maybe it’s just because I’m still a virgin, maybe it’s because of my autism and introvertedness, maybe I’m hoplessly romantic, maybe I’m demisexual… Or maybe it’s all of those things. But regardless, I still never got the desire of quantity over quality when it comes to intercourse. Horny as I may be, sex just sounds so much better if it’s done with someone you connect with, can trust , and if both of the participants can truly enjoy each other. Otherwise, what’s even the difference between a booty call and just fapping to pornography with a fleshlight?
Back in the 2000s there were a lot of men who insisted that women would “shit test” men by giving a weak “no” or mild rejection but not really meaning it, in order to weed out the weak men who would back off in favor of the strong men who would push past it. If a woman didn’t make it absolutely clear that he wasn’t being “shit tested” then she was responsible for the consequences. I suspect that this belief originated from early Pickup Artist communities during the 1990s and later spread through the internet.
Meanwhile that’s not the framework which the (vast?) majority of women were operating under at the time. Rather, the common belief was that if you’re too forceful in rejecting him, there’s a risk that he’ll get violent (if a stranger) or go out of his way to ruin your life (if an acquaintance) and it was your fault, for attacking his manhood. This is a much older belief, probably a little exaggerated in actual risk but much more reality-based. This created a no-win scenario, exactly the conditions predators like to operate in.
I don’t know if this is an older person who hasn’t really changed their beliefs or just a new spin on an old line of thinking, but it’s something which needs to die, regardless.
You know, when you get it to the point where if a woman doesn’t immediately shoot you in the goddamned head the minute you try to talk to her you take that as “try harder” you are the one directly responsible for women “not giving men a chance” and the so-called male loneliness epidemic. Why? Because in addition to people’s expectations of relationships being badly skewed by poorly written media you define the only options for women in any and all interactions with men to not end in sex being to chase you off with maximum violence the second you approach and dump the mag if you make a second pass or else “it’s their fault” that you interpret grudging tolerance of your existence out of the concern for the social fallout that would follow loudly and violently repelling you as consent. And even worse when they do engage with you out of social obligation but set a boundary it’s simply too late because in your fucking damnable eyes that Jesus would tell you to rip out she was “leading you on” by again not immediately smashing a bottle across your face while telling you to fuck off and “changing her mind” even with the boundaries up front and centre.
Guys who take this "no means no" business too seriously get laid a lot less often than those who don't!
Well, in a sense, Jlibourel isn’t wrong: after all, thieves tend to have more money than honest people because they don’t have to earn it.
@Timjer #268292
@Bastethotep #268288
I at least would much rather prefer quality over quantity. And when it comes to finding a companion for life to start a family with, to grow old with, deepening passion and intimacy over the course of many, many nights…
Amen my friend. Maybe it’s just because I’m still a virgin, maybe it’s because of my autism and introvertedness, maybe I’m hoplessly romantic, maybe I’m demisexual… Or maybe it’s all of those things. But regardless, I still never got the desire of quantity over quality when it comes to intercourse. Horny as I may be, sex just sounds so much better if it’s done with someone you connect with, can trust, and if both of the participants can truly enjoy each other. Otherwise, what’s even the difference between a booty call and just fapping to pornography with a fleshlight?
My level of sexual experience is like uh…just a SKOSH over “not a virgin”…and I completely agree with the both of you.
I’ve said before how I’m into those “harem-lit” books…but at least in the ones of those I like, the protagonist is actually like in a serious relationship with all the girls. I mean, there was one series I read where the protagonist has to have children with random girls that he isn’t in a relationship with, because uh reasons, lol. I stopped reading that series, cus it got kinda gratuitous.
“^Guys who take this "no means no" business too seriously get laid a lot less often than those who don't!”
“A certain amount of coy resistance is inherent in female sexuality, I think"
and I don't just mean human females.
Um … excuse me?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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