No, guys, it’s all true! See, there was a documentary about this guy who lived in a video game, but he didn’t want to be the bad guy because the other computer-people were afraid of him, so he left his game and went to another game and…
No, wait, better story, kinda reverse of that one! This kid got sucked into his NES and had to fight a big boxing hippo-man and an eggplant wizard and the only help he had was a closet case with a whip and a vampire fetish, a Cupid-cosplayer, and a developmentally challenged robot with a speech impediment! It’s all true, I saw it with my own eyes!
Pretty sure we’d notice a fucking war for five days. I know kids today are jaded and addicted to their phones and shit, but ‘The Matrix fighting the real world’ would absolutely draw some fucking attention.