KeithInc.

@KeithInc.

joelazcr #fundie

“Aren't humans beyond the reach of natural selection anyway?”
That’s so adorable.
Evolution is a change in the frequency of certain parts of DNA in succeeding generations.
So, imagine that the human gene pool spins out a particularly lethal gene sequence about .01% of the time. That means .01% of the population dies every generation from that gene sequence. They don’t live to pass on the trait.
Then we find a cure for that condition. it’s no longer lethal.
People with that condition will more likely live long enough to pass it on.
It will increase in future generations BECAUSE we’re no longer subject to natural selection in that case. And the gene pool evolves.
Hilarious, isn’t it?

snoqueen #conspiracy

My first CO knew that if you put an electric shaver in a torpedo tube, the vibrations would affect the sonar equipment surrounding the forward end of the sub. Sonar would detect a ‘Torpedo In The Water!’ and call away an alarm.
Then the CO would rush into control, take charge, and save us all from the threat. Worked well for three times. On the fourth, sonar picked up the laughter from the Torpedo Room Watch.

I am certain, if Bush had known about 9/11 in advance, he’d have been coincidentally heading towards the command center or mobile command center for a routine training exercise, taken charge of the country’s military, and been very visible about heroically limiting the damage. Not sitting, stunned, in a classroom…

Esther #fundie

“Yeah, I heard atheists dont even have morals.”
Weird, then, that I kept a security clearance above top secret for 20years without selling classified information…

“But I wouldnt want to talk to them in person because the ones Ive met have all been really nerdy and smart”
And this proves they do or do not have morals? I don’t see the connection.

“And in person I wouldnt have a chance to look up the answers on the internet! haha.”
Oh. That’s what Hovind depends on, throwing out too much bullshit to counter it all in a debate format.

“Are atheists allowed on this site? I kinda thought this was supposed to be a safe place for teens to talk.”
Why would you think a website taht’s open to the entire internet blocks atheists?

“But theyre gonna let the devils followers come hang out with us??”
Exactly how to stop them?

Ed #racist

“Would one large H-bomb take care of Mexico?”
First off, no. One H-bomb pretty much takes out a population center, not a time zone.
Second, dropping a nuke on Mexico would ‘take care’ of the US, moron.
Once we shoot a nuke, everyone with nukes will nuke us in preemptive self defense.

“Would be much cheaper in the long run than a fence and border guards”
Yes, yes, after we nuke the country on our border, we have no more need to limit the migration of the desperate, radioactive surviving refugees. That’s good.

“and OH SO MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE!”
Well, since Trump hired incompetent thieving idiots to build the wall, yes, it can’t be anything but more effective than a fence that blows over in a strong wind…

MrVersatile48 #fundie

“MSc/PhD-level,”
PhDs in what, though?
Engineers are overimpressed by design and complexity, easily accept a designer.
Biologist PhDs, however, would be more significant.

“who were brainwashed in Darwinism,”
Jesus fuck there’s no such thing. There’s the science theory and there is the creationist accusation that it’s a religion about Charles Darwin…

“now see so much evidence, from micro-biology to astronomy,”
And just what are their credentials to evaluate biology AND astronomy?

“of Intelligent Design,”
You’d think by reaching a Master’s, these scientists would understand that an intelligent designer is supernatural, and by definition not part of science…?

“that they now reject atheism”
Wow. So much naturalistic science evidence for a supernatural being that they’ve abandoned atheism, huh?
That’s supid.

“& worship the Almighty Creator”
How did they make the jump from ID (which pretends not to specify the designer) to Your God, though?

Wayne #fundie

“NO, I'm not a mammal. You on the other hand? You are some species of ape,”
So, wait. To my mind, we’re both humans. A matter of biology. Any expert can spend five minutes with us and determine our species with high confidence.

YOU, on the other hand, seem to think that one’s species, one’s entire position on the tree of life, is a matter of attitude. That by accepting Evolution, I am classified as ‘an ape.’ And by insisting you’re a child of god you are… Well, not an ape, not even a mammal.

So, you MUST support transgendered individual, right? If you think you can NOT BE an ape just by opinion, you must accept an individual who ’feels’ that they’re a woman despite there being a penis in their panties. Right? The logic is inescapable.

slugbug #homophobia

“Yes, I do feel that homosexual propaganda has infiltrated popular culture these days.”
Kinda like, um, oh, don’t tell me… Life? Gays are part of popular culture now. It’s not infiltration if it’s participation.

“I can't think of how many movies I have started to watch, only to find that there is a token homosexual character that has absolutely nothing to do with the plot.”
Kinda like life.
Of course, I’m old enough to remember if there was a cross-dresser or a gay character, you just found either THE villain (as in Freebie and the Bean), or one of his minions (As in Escape From New York).

“ It is definitely propaganda, though you might not realize it if you have been exposed to it a lot, and think of it as normal.”
So, if we accept it as life, we don’t freak out. You freak out.

“I haven't, so I noticed right away.”
As I said.

“Propaganda, for those who are confused, is defined as "The systematic propagation of a doctrine or cause or of information reflecting the views and interests of those advocating such a doctrine or cause".”
Maybe the director just knows a lot of gay people and added a gay character for verisimilitude, not propaganda.

"By this definition, constantly repeating the dogma that "homosexuality is simply another lifestyle choice",”
Or, more simply “Homosexuality is.”

“ and putting it in print, on the airwaves and in the movies certainly qualifies as propaganda. They are trying to change the prevailing views.”
Dude. We ARE the prevailing view.
Not the loudest, but certainly the majority.

The Rev. Eric Kalinowski #fundie

AIAyeti #fundie

“the very goal of the atheist and evolutionist is good ol' fashion genocide of the religious.”
Science is neutral on the supernatural. If evolution were created to decimate the ranks of the religious, it’s kind of a useless effort, huh? That’s kinda like fighting capitalism with interior decoration.
And atheists just wish you fucks would shut up, rather than try to run the entire government as an arm of your superstition.

“And very probably (doing the numbers) more people have been murdered by atheism than any other faith-based belief system in history.”
No one has ever killed someone because nothing above told me to.
Plenty of murder because God above told me to.
Plenty of murder to achieve and maintain power.
But not ‘because I’m atheist.’

“There probably (mathematically) wasn't even millions and millions and millions of humans outside of Noahs ark.”
Just 99.999999999999999023% of humanity, and about 99.9999999999999964% of all life on Earth.

Zyrros #fundie

“Normie misconceptions:
Just get a hooker : Inceldom is about being unwanted”
A point that’s totally destroyed by the incels who suggest/demand that dead women corpses be made available for incel sex while the pussy is still warm.
if a lubricated corpse provides the solution, then the problem is not her wanting, her attraction, her emotions… Her consent…

gstvtrp #sexist

“Chad's pleasurable experiences should be taxed just like wealth.”
And what does Chad get from this tax?
I mean, merchants pay tax so the military will protect lines of product from piracy, so they can profit.
Drivers pay tax so that they can have dependable roads.
City dwellers pay tax for schools so that the guy at the counter can do math and figure their bill.
Do you have any idea why we tax things or do you just see it as a form or revenge? ‘You has sex! That’s $20 in the kitty!’

“This tax would then be distributed towards incels to help alleviate disparity.”
The disparity you feel is that 80% of the women are fucking Chad because they’d rather fuck a St. Bernard than you.
Chad’s sex money goes to you to… What? Give you a sportscar? You can’t drive a car fast enough to make 80% of women want to fuck you. KNIGHTRIDER wouldn’t get you laid.

“Because it would be impractical to directly give Chad's pleasurable experiences to incels, this is how I propose it would be done.”
Where would you put the tax stamp on Chad’s sex, though?

“A dollar estimate would be made on Chad's experiences, which would be calculated by averaging the dollar amount that incels would pay to have these experiences.”
So, if NO AMOUNT OF MONEY could get you laid, Chad’s tax would be infinite money? I’m pretty sure he can’t pay that.

“How could anyone disagree with this? It sounds like a perfectly fair system and would help fix inequality.”
It wouldn’t fix inequality, though. Even if 20 Chad’s chipped in on buying you a whore, you’d still bitch that no woman cuddled, or initiated the sex, or stayed with you after the hour was up. WHATEVER is offered it won’t be enough unless and until you become the Chad.

And I still don’t see anything Chad gets for paying this tax.

n/a #fundie

“Do you remember hearing about a volcanic eruption in Washington State in 1980 called Mt. Saint Helens?”
Yeah, May 18, my high school graduation.

“After the eruption, scientists went into the area to measure the date of rocks thrown from the volcano. Guess what they found?”
That rocks are older than the event that pushed them to the surface?

“When the rocks, formed from the magma thrown out by the volcano, were dated with carbon 14 dating, they were told that the rocks were millions of years old.”
They dated volcanic rocks using carbon 14?
Holy shit, I only have a high school education and I know you’re lying through your teeths.

“The only problem was that the rocks had only formed just 20 years before.”
That’s not your only problem, but let’s go with what you remember of the creationist story: What were these rocks ‘formed’ out of?

“So how could they be extremely old when they just became rocks a few years before?”
When did the magma become rock?

“The problem is that carbon 14 dating does not take into account the thousands and thousands of catastrophes that happen year in and year out.”
The problem is that either the story you’re plagiarizing was horribly wrong, or you remember very poorly.

“Catastrophes like volcanoes, hurricanes, tornadoes, typhoons, tsunamis, fires, lightning, etc, all change the amount of carbon in material when that material encounters those catastrophes.”
Exactly how would a hurricane change the amount of carbon-14 in volcanic rock? Please, please, please draw this process out for me. Take all the time you need.

“Carbon is not released uniformly. So radio carbon dating is only good for a very few types of material and it never shows those materials to be more than thousands of years old.”
Are you under the impression that C14 is the ONLY radiometric dating method? Or were you just homeschooled?

Rachel #psycho #quack #transphobia

@Zinnia #259288

it’s not a slip. The OP is a response to a PITTshit who has a 16-year old transgendered son. And theyboth studiously refer to him as ‘her.’ Because that’s their reality.
The OP has a daughter, who years ago was her 16 year old son. Called ‘he.’

Ruukah #fundie #homophobia

“You really think the same God who called homosexuality an abomination is going to recognize a gay couple as being married? He made marriage to be a good thing.”
Any god will obviously recognize whatever his follower wants him to recognize. That’s how religion works. That’s the god’s purpose.
And, really, no one’s trying to get any religion to change their position on samesex marriage any more than the Loving decision forced any religion to recognize interracial marriage.
But the government does, which is all we need.

“I said it once and I'll say it again: Gay people have the same right I do to marry someone of the opposite gender.”
Yes, noted. But they want the right to marry the person they love. Which you enjoy and withhold for petty reasons.

“They just choose not to. I happen to know"
Oh, fuck, don’t bother with An Anecdote.

Sean Davis #racist #psycho #wingnut

@Zinnia #259290

I now imagine going to the DMV. “OKay, I have a receipt from the hospital for the cost of a successful, live birth of girl, baby, 1; i have a coupon from the state showing that my wife is a citizen; i have another coupon from the Navy showing that _I_ am a citizen; I have our electric bill showing that we use electricity at 93 2nd Street, Central city, in this state; I have our marriage certificate from Massachusetts showing we are both a couple, and the same couple; i have a letter from Kim Davis approving of our marriage on heterosexual grounds; I have a deviance from the governor of THIS state for having an interracial, but still hetero, marriage; I have a coupon from the RCC for attending Catholic Marriage School; and from Berkshire Medical College for ‘First Time Parents School,’ can I please have a birth certificate?”
“This says you’re being billed for two kids.”
“Yes, they were twins. Can I get both with one application?”
“Oh, no, no, no. Can’t have an illegal alien getting in just because he was born ten minutes after your daughter.”
::sigh::

@Lucilius #259274

I’d be surprised if he hadn’t planned where to administer Plan B shots to every World Cup tourist entering the country…

Yurka #fundie

“You atheists are like parasites, vampires.”
You mean like Joel Osteen getting a big PPP check during Covid but never, every paying taxes? THAT kind of parasite?

“You are able to thrive off of the vibrancy, and liveliness of this Christian nation you inhabit.”
Exactly what is ‘Christainity’ doing that I benefit from? You fuckers elected the draft-dodging grifter stealing all the tax money he can find…

“Do you really want to end it all?”
Sounds like you can’t tell the difference between atheist and nihilist.

“ You won’t have the stomach to stand against militant Islam -”
No, did pretty well during my 20 years in the military facing enemies.

“that would be so intolerant and un-PC, wouldn’t it?”
No, actually, tolerance is an offer, not a religion. Shooting the dicks off of intolerant people is not impinging on my tolerance.
And PC just limits my accidental offenses. If someone’s offended by my choice of self-defense, that’s not accidental, so it’s not a PC issue.

“You don’t want to be bothered raising kids right?”
I have three kids and a grandkid, thanks.
You just live by stereotypes, don’t you?

“Just DINK yourselves out of existence and let Christians raise up soldiers to defend you.”
Right now we’re at war with Iran, not to defend the US, but because Dipshit Donald thought he could get away with bullying them and stealing their oil. Go send YOUR kids to die on that war.

Robert Stacy McCain #homophobia

“Disagreement is HATE!”
I think you get labeled as a hater because you don’t simply disagree. But that’s what you cry as a defense, huh? “I’m only disagreeing! I’m free to disagree!"
You are.
You’re not free to make life harder for anyone.
And free speech does not mean that there will be no consequences for expressing your ‘disagreement.’

Matt Osbourne #transphobia

“‘Gender’ is not a fact, anymore, but a feeling.”
I think the entire point is that it’s always been a feeling. And for about a hundred years we’ve known the 30 or so human traits that create that feeling. USUALLY they agree with the genitals, but not always.

“Male ‘gender’ is now a feeling that belongs to females who cut their breasts off and take testosterone.”
Again, for almost 100 years, science has found that the best treatment for dysphoria is transition. If this boggles your mind, that’s your problem.

“It does not belong to every boy, because some boys will want to be girls.”
No. Some people that YOU would call boys (“PENIS!PENIS!PENIS!”) are actually girls. do try to keep up.

“Fatherhood is no longer connected to biology.”
Fatherhood has never been LIMITED to biology. My coworker has two girls he loves but shares no genetics with. They have half-siblings they email, products of the same donor at the sperm bank.

“Fatherhood is now ‘found family’,"
it’s all or nothing with you, isn’t it? The condition is expanded, not replaced, but all you see is that everything you knew is wrong?
Geeze what a snowflake

TimtheDemocrat #fundie

“I think putting every woman who has an abortion in a cage in the public square for a day or two would help instill moral fiber in these sex crazed women.”
Hmmm. _I_ think women would rally around any caged woman, protecting her from the weather, tourists, loneliness.
And as people like you get home and ask what’s for dinner, you’ll find a yellow sticky, “Rallying around today’s Abortion Annie. Your steak is in the freezer. Don’t wait up.”

“If they can't control their bodies I suggest they consider joining a nunnery and consider GOds' immense love for them.”
The god who has women sold to their rapists, because it’s all about controlling your body, huh?
that’s useful.

“Additionally these women should be marked with a tattoo or perhaps removing a finger? That way men would know that this women might kill their child that belongs to the man.”
And if the man rapes a woman who becomes pregnant, what do you cut off of the rapist? I have some ideas.

“When is Justice Alito going to save all the babies and punish these murderesses?”
that ship sailed…

“ Additionally men should be prosecuted for using condoms because that is exactly the same as murder.”
Holy crap do you not understand the English language.
There’s a zillion sperm in an ejaculation. Not all of them will find an egg. THAT’S murder, then.

Toolman890 #sexist

“Men would love it if dogs could feed themselves, bathe themselves, need no leash upon walks. But they are animals and they need to be controlled and trained.”
You can train dogs to not need a leash. And to feed themselves. And run through a sprinkler six times a day.

“We still love them for what they are despite their faults.”
Dude, if they ARE what they ARE, that’s not a fault!
That’s THEM.
What you’re bitching about is that you have to put in effort,either to maintain them or to train them. So, ‘despite the inconvenience.’

“But if we let them go without control or proper training?”
That would be strays. Not a difficult concept.

“The dog would piss where it pleases, eat whatever or wherever it wants, chew and destroy anything it desires, carry dirt into the home.”
Yes… IAW their nature. And that’s inconvenient to you, having to clean up after it and protect your property from it.
Still not a ‘fault.’

“It would destroy the home.”
Strays aren’t typically IN homes.

“Much like a woman.”
And again, you’re upset that her having a choice is inconvenient to your desire for the sexification. Not a fault.

“Released from her leash, she is pissing all over society.”
Ah. You are, indeed, a tool. Good one.

Joshua Arnold #fundie

“People whose lives look “normal” are most likely Christian, at least based on my anecdotal but careful observation.”
And by ‘normal’ you mean ‘increasingly odd for the current social norms,’ Right?

Sean Davis #racist #psycho #wingnut

“Nullification. States issue birth certificates, and they can just stop issuing them to non-citizens.”
Dude, that’s everyone without a birth certificate.
Although that might be an answer to abortion. No one’s a citizen until their birth certificate is issued. The rabid Trumpers scream that anyone who isn’t a citizen doesn’t have any rights.

Southern cross rebel #fundie

“Why do atheists claim to know all about science BUT don't know that the earth had a water canopy around it?”
Because we know science.
The Water canopy is not science. It’s backfill.

“before the flood and that it is the reason for the flood????”
There was no flood. Science.

“here are the FACTS concerning the True Science of the great flood.
1) Earth was water vapor canopy surrounding the earth before the flood.”
There’s no evidence for it. There’s just Genesis talking about the ’Waters Above’ and it solves the mechanisms of the Flood Story. Pretending it’s real is more of a literary game then a science claim.

“2) water was stored in small ice particles distributed in equatorial rings around the earth similar to those around Venus.”
Nope.

“3) water canopy collapsed (Genesis 7:11, 8:2) and fell as rain.”
If a water canopy collapsed, the water would be hitting earth at reentry velocity. Not rain, more like a 14-inch hose. LOTS of 14 inch hoses.

“4) Volcanic eruptions associated with the breaking up of the fountains of the great deep (Genesis 7:11) thrown dust into the water vapor canopy, causing the water vapor to nucleate on the dust particles and make rain. (Genesis 7:12)”
Holy crap this isn’t even bible fanfiction, this ‘fact’ is straight out of your ass.

“5) water canopy would also affect the global wind systems. Also, the mountains were almost certainly not as high before the flood as they are today.”
Then what built such high mountains, then?

“6) there was no such thing as "arctic" and "antarctic" before the flood.”
Do you know what ‘arctic’ even means? it means there are bears.
Ant-arctic means there are no bears. Any time you want to show scripture support for there being bears in the antarctic, g’head.

Rev. Bill McGinnis #fundie

“If black is a color, then Atheism is a religion.”
Well black IS a color, atheism is a rejection of religions. not a good analogy.

“If Atheism is a religion, then it must be subject to the same legal restrictions imposed by governments on all other religions.”
It’s not but i think i see where you’re going with this.

“In particular, in the United States, the teaching of Atheism must be prohibited wherever the teaching of Christianity is prohibited.”
Okay.

“But where is Atheism being taught? Atheism is being taught, by default, in all places where other religions cannot be taught, particularly in the public schools.”
No. No one is teaching atheism. No one is teaching that there are no gods, EXCEPT in melodramatic movies like God Is (Not) Dead.

“When the State mandates that the Theory of Evolution be taught as fact, that is establishing the religion of Atheism,”
Yeah, big surprise, you’re a lying sack of shit.
All of science is secular, meaning it works without an appeal to a supernatural element, not that it teaches atheism.

“because the Theory of Evolution asserts that all life forms are created not by God, but by pre-existing natural processes.”
Nothing in evolution requires atheism to acept it. Nothing in atheism requires that we accept evolution. This is just crepe hanging.

“This is pure Atheism! If we are not created by God, then there might as well be no God, for all the difference He makes.”
Such drama! Such error! Such lying!

“The mere fact that many scientists are Atheists does not entitle them to establish Atheism as our State Religion!”
No, it doesn’t. Which is why they do not.

“When the State prohibits free discussion of God in the classroom, that is establishing the religion of Atheism.”
Totally incorrect and self-centered.

“Wherever the State permits Atheistic ideas”
Evolution is not an atheistic idea. no more than Freedom of Religion is an atheistic idea.

“ to be spread but prohibits Theistic ideas, that is establishing the religion of Atheism.”
You’re pretty much repeating yourself and not getting any close to a fact anywhere at all.

Rachel #psycho #quack #transphobia

“I would give anything if my son were 16 again.”
You do know that she was transgendered at 16, also, right? She just didn’t have the words to express herself back then?

“I don't care what it took. Pulling him out of school, taking away internet, phones, etc.”
None of that made her what she is. It may have helped her understand what she needed.

“I would find a way to let him know how precious and perfect he already was.”
So, perfect, but only as long as she met your expectations.

"I would do anything and everything it took to help them see that there is no such thing as "trans," even if I had to physically restrain him.”
Physically restrain her so that she doesn’t realize that she’s transgendered… What an odd fantasy life you lead.

“Thats no different to me than keeping him from running into the street as a toddler.”
This reminds me of that wizard in discworld that hid from his mortality in an airtight closet so that Death couldn’t get in. SLIGHT problem with his efforts, there. Last words he heard were Death saying, “Mighty stuffy in here, isn’t it?”
As long as you see transgendered as an external threat, you’re not going to improve your relationship with your daughter.

“If their minds aren't mature enough to listen to reason,”
By ‘reason’ you mean ‘my bigoted point of view,’ i see.

“then they'll be treated as such. Treat this like her life depends on it, because it does.”
Yes, it really does. You’re the threat, here.

rglencheek #fundie

“Atheists, by denying that there is a God”
I don’t believe in gods. Any of them. Not just yours.

“by which human beings are patterned”
Gods are bald? And have diabetes?

“and to Whom we are responsible”
A contract I don’t recall signing.

“debase all of us to the status of animals.”
With or without gods, we are animals. We meet the definition. Either we evolved among them or someone made us as part of them.

“Atheists are not racists, but by implication their system of beliefs is far worse.”
Oh, IMPLICATION. Uh huh. So, shit you’re making up.
Because there’s no belief system in atheism. We don’t believe in gods. That’s it.
Not even all atheists accept evolution.
And not everyone who accepts evolution is an atheist.
Weird, huh?

Flat Earth Society #conspiracy

You know, you don’t have to find the ice wall to prove the shape of the Earth.
if the north pole is the Earth’s center, the equator is 6215 miles away.
Earth circumference at the equator would be 24000 miles (give or take).
If the Earth is flat, the south pole is another 6215 miles to the south of the equator. And that would make the outer circumference 79000 miles (GoT).
So sail the Antarctic circle. If it turns out to be 9,900 miles around, that’s a globe. if it’s a flat earth, the Circle would be about 64,000 miles. Or six times as large. Prove it’s that large, THEN look for the Ice Wall.

?'? #fundie

“I want atheists to stop being stupid,”
Okay. Last i checked i had an IQ of 138. Next?

“pseudo-intellectual,”
Can you define ‘pseudo,’ please? I don’t know if i’m intellectual or not.

“pretentious,”
Your idea of a ‘peace’ between our outlooks is for me to cave completely and adopt your outlook? And _I_ am pretentious?? Fuck all the way off.

“rebellious”
Can’t be in rebellion to god if there are no gods.

“and homosexual,”
I own far too many playboys.

“ and to believe in Christ as their saviour--it's for their own good!”
I think you should brand your tongue so badly you can’t talk for 20 years. For your own good.

Divine Love Ministries #fundie

“A young man working in the army was constantly humiliated because he believed in God.”
Pretty sure that’s against the Equal Opportunity Employment standards. And the First Amendment. Last boat i was on we had three Lay Leaders for services, but sure. Constant humiliation.

“One day the Captain wanted to humiliate him before the troops.”
That’s not terribly likely. Is this that ‘A marine from Iraq was in a college course’ tale?

“The Captain said: – But then ask your assistant, God! Show us that He exist.”
Why in the name of fuck would a CO single out one believer for this treatment? This isn’t even laughable.

“The soldier takes the key and walks to the vehicle while he prays — He parks the Jeep PERFECTLY and exactly where the Captain instructed.”
Uh huh. Yes, magic works when you really need it to.

“When he got back from the Jeep, he saw the other soldiers crying. They said: – We want to serve your God!”
Ah. You read a lot of Jack Chick tracts, I take it.

“The astoned young soldier asked what was going on? The Captain told him to walk out with him, he opened the hood of the Jeep and showed the soldier that he removed the engine.”
What the fuck is wrong with you? It’s not terribly LEGAL to disable government equipment in order to play a prank on someone no matter how fucking much he’s an asshole about his superstition.

“Without blinking an eye, the soldier said: You see, Sir, that’s My God!”
Doesn’t lift a finger at ANY school shooting or at any time ID or Creationism is on trial for being taught in the classroom, but moves a jeep so that one Christain won’t be teased… Yeah, that’s believable.

“We serve a supernatural God. God of the Impossible! He, Who gives life where it doesn’t exist, NOTHING is too big, or too difficult for Him!”
Then where was he at (pick any mass shooting over the last ten years)

“Do you believe?”
Did you ejaculate typing this or do you plan to later?

J.D. King #fundie

“I looked him and said, "I am convinced that the demons have greater faith than you!"”
I don’t think demons have ANY faith, really. I mean, you have to have faith in God. They’ve heard God shouting at the Devil. You have to have faith in the Devil. They met Lucifer at Indoc. Maybe they haven’t all shaken his hand, but they have seen him make the opening speech, set their corporate values, describe their Inequal Opportunity Program.
It’s less like God’s a concept and more like they’re sailors on a ship. I mean, on the surface vessel, I almost never saw the Captain. But i heard my division officer talk about what the Captain wanted his departments to do and what the ship’s schedule was.
It’s a matter of faith that people have souls. In Hell, souls are the demons’ day job.
The Rapture is a faith matter. Demons probably have it marked on their calendar, work schedules, day timers. “Be ready for a BIG influx on 5 Jun, 2095.”
“Right, Boss, we’re mining the brimstone starting next August.”

No, I don’t really see that Demons need any faith.

Parents With Inconvenient Truths About Trans #transphobia

Also, when I think of ‘room for error’ i think of a small child’s teddy bear being named Treeie, and getting upset if i refer to him as Tree without enunciating the extra ‘ie.’
You’re rejecting his entire identity, by choice, not even trying to understand what he’s going through. It’s not an error, it’s you getting caught without your mask on.
How would you feel if he ‘confused’ referring to you guys as Mom and Dad?

Hey. Maybe that’s a useful tactic.
I saw a video where a woman on a government board referred to the guy in charge as ‘Madame Chairman.’ He took exception to being called a Madame. She pointed out that the board had just adopted a policy that no one could be coerced in their use of gender-specific terms.
I can actually imagine telling my mother, “Yes, you IDENTIFY as my Mom, but I’m far more comfortable calling you Dad.”
Of course, the first time I called my Dad, ‘mom’ he’d have folded me into the breadbox, so maybe not a useful tactic for EVERYONE…

MartinBooferKing #racist

“When are the niggers going to move on?”
I’m guessing the one holding on is you…

“The Civil War was not about slavery or freeing niggers.”
Read the Cornerstone Speech.
The vice president of the Confederacy had this weird opinion that the Confederacy existed because only they understood ‘the proper use of the Negro.’
Quoted Jefferson who predicted that Slavery was going to tear the nation apart, and there they were, tearing the nation apart for slavery.

“I am offended when I have to see a nigger in public”
Absolutely nothing in law or government policy prevents or seeks to prevent you from ever being offended.

“or the "flag" (usually containing colors that should never be together like orange, purple and lime green) of a nigger country.”
Absolutely nothing in law or government policy prevents or seeks to prevent you from ever being offended.

“Nobody seems to care that I am offended, except my fellow NM's.”
Absolutely nothing in law or government policy prevents or seeks to prevent you from ever being offended.
Political Correctness only seeks to limit ACCIDENTALLY offering offense. Like saying ‘copyboy’ when there are copy women involved.
But no one actually CARES that you’re offended, no.

Parents With Inconvenient Truths About Trans #transphobia

Well, when he’s 18, he’s going to want a taxi.
And you’ll go on PITT and cry about how other people, evil people, people with an agenda, drove your precious kid to go no-contact.

Brent Riggs #fundie

"However, the authenticity and accuracy of the Bible is beyond dispute for anyone who cares to investigate the evidence."
One teensy itty bitty major fucking problem, there. Even if the Bible itself is inarguably accurate, the believer’s interpretation of that content may be faulty.
If, for example, Genesis is meant as a metaphor, then it is not in conflict with science. It’s in conflict with every literalist who insists that it’s historical.

And if you ask 20 Christains which parts of hte Bible are meant to be taken literally, you get 22 different lists.

rlvaughn #fundie

“A baby may not be able to speak the English (or any other) language, but he can communicate falsely.”
How?
That was the question. HOW can they communicate falsely?

“Is the Bible [Psalm 58:3] incorrect when it says the wicked go astray as soon as they are born, speaking lies?”
Well, you just admitted they can’t speak, so they can’t speak lies, either.
I mean, what’s he going to do? Burble when he means NOT burble?

TattooedRedHead #racist

“I will not go through a door a nigger holds open for me.”
Wow. THAT’s petty.

“I will stand there while they hold it open until they finally figure it out or get "tired" of holding the door open and let it close without me saying a word to it.”
What an arrogant asshole.
And you act surprised if black people hate whitey.

“Once the door is closed I will open it myself and go in/out. It is amusing to see the look on the nigger's face if I was going in and they see that I opened the door myself.”
So, what isit you think would happen to you if you DID go through that door, then?

The Rev. Eric Kalinowski #fundie

Gary51 #fundie

“Are Atheists Blind?”
No, they stapled my retina back in place.

“I have tried to debate with atheist on this forum, and I don't know if its me or not, but I find them very unreasonable.”
I’m sure it’s not you. No way you could be the problem.

“They do not seem willing to consider even for a moment that God may be real.”
Well, why would we? I ask for reasons to accept that any gods exist. Sometimes I get arguments that cheat. They ask me to assume that god exists, then offer an argument, then act surprised when I don’t even buy their argument.

“They seem to have an attitude of arrogance about them.”
Yes, yes. YOUR arguments fail, I AM the arrogant one.

“And I wonder, could some of them be evil, because sometimes they give me the shivers.”
Sure…

“And then there are those that get me a tiny bit angry. Then I want to smite them.... which of course is wrong... I should turn the other cheek.”
Awwwwwwwww. They reject your god and you want to get violent.

“I'm beginning to think that some of the atheists that come looking for debate maybe under the influence of Satan.”
Why would Satan want to influence atheists?
According to you, he’s already got me. He’d want to influence people like Hovind and Comfort, people who can pile up bullshit and ruin someone’s connection to god.

“Are these people blind to God's truth? because when it is put right under their noses, they just don't see it.”
I don’t perceive what you consider truth, no.

harmonyhorsegrl #fundie

“Creationists have the BIGGEST advantage of all. THE BIBLE.”
Yes. But that’s ALL you have.

“It says right in the very first verse, "In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth." That's all I need to prove my point.”
Well, ‘prove’ is a little strong.
Who wrote that?
Why should I believe they know what they’re talking about?

“The Bible is PURE truth. If it says so, it is. Its that simple.”
So, the Earth is flat, the sky is solid, all of astronomy is a scam, the Tower of Babel could have reached the sky plants aren’t alive, neither are spiders, ants, butterflies, fish.

Elric #fundie

“After all, if beating as a punishment for some action can be applied to freemen then there really is no difference between the freeman and the slave.”

If i beat my biblical slave and he doesn’t die until after the weekend, it’s not murder.
But I’m pretty sure if I beat my biblical neighbor to death, I’m getting charged with Murder, whether he lasts three days or not.
They’re different.

Incel Wiki #sexist

“According to The Shit Test Encyclopedia, the correct translation of this phrase is, "I have Schrödinger’s boyfriend, demonstrate to me you’re high value and I'll fuck you regardless."”
No, sweetie. If they were open to a hookup, they’d say “I have plans.” Then you can try to bid your way to higher importance/attraction than their plans.
Saying ‘I have a boyfriend’ is the guillotine. There’s a third person involved. You’re only taking her out to dinner if you invite the boyfriend, too.
STOP trying
STOP talking
STOP attempting to generate interest.

But of course, you’re incels. YOU HAVE to interpret it as playing hard to get.

Steven L. Anderson #fundie

“Roman Catholics and Greek Orthodox are not real Christians, and they are going to Hell.”
This is why i absolutely reject the claim that this or any nation is majority ‘Christain.’ For popularity you count Catholics, Methodist, Baptists, Mormons, Westboro, and Jehovah’s Witnesses.
But really, you discount any religion except yours as ‘not real Christains.’ So the only ones you should count for political reasons are your fellow congregationists. And even then, I suspect there are a few people you’re leery of…

RaceAgainstTDL #crackpot #racist #sexist

“1) Race
As noted, it costs an extra $247,000 for an Asian man to date a white girl. It costs an extra $154,000 for a black man to date a white girl.”
What does this even mean?
What, total cost from phone call to wedding, dollars per year or dollars per orgasm?
And extra compared to what?
It’s $247K more for Asian male/white female as compared to same male, and the women his mother hooked him up with?
Or $247K more for Asian male/white female as compared to same female going out with the man her sister set her up with?
How would you even acquire this data?
Do you count the cars driven? Suits worn? Concerts attended? Dinner? Flowers? Court costs for restraining orders?
Talk about begging the question…

“On the other hand, white men can make up to $24,000 less to be considered equally attractive to Asian women.”
Wait, annual income is not the same as the cost spent on a date. You’re comparing apples and Fords.
So, yeah, all i see here is that incels can’t think and hate all women for… reasons.

“and you need to find a way to make sure girls know about the money for it to even matter in the first place.”
In Vegas, the term for a guy who has lots of money to spend is ‘High Roller.’
In dating circles, someone trying to use his wealth to get women to date him in spite of his flaws is ‘Loser.’

The Rev. Eric Kalinowski #fundie

Wait, was he embezzling church funds or did you guys pay him a salary out of the tithings?
If he’s spending money that’s still the church’s, that’s wrong.
If you paid him, though, he can do what he wants.

“Woe to the man who worships plastic over the King of Kings!”
I think ‘worship’ is a little strong.
I used to make patrols with a little Elvira action figure in my bunk, but i never prayed to her to intercede with our patrol cycle or anything.
But God DAMN you’re het up.
“and worst of all, he had MULTIPLE versions of that anti-God clock witch wearing her salacious undergarments!”
Ah. only the direct action of DEMONS can explain why you found that sexy figure so enticing, huh? Your little willy twitched, it MUST be Satan!

David J. Stewart #fundie

“It is a sin to deliberately promote interracial marriage as part of a New World Order agenda.”
I don’t have a NWO agenda.
I fell in love, i proposed, she said yes. Poof.
And our marriage has lasted 39 years as of 10 July this year.
How’s your all-whites relationships going, Davey?

“Such heathen movies as, JUNGLE FEVER, promote interracial relationships.”
Jungle Fever was examining the effect of media on an individual. All his life, TV was telling him that white girls were the hottest, most desirable, biggest success. It was more of an indictment of there NOT being inclusive shows saying that blacks or browns or plaids were also beautiful.

“Since interracial marriage is very controversial, interracial couples are nearly ALWAYS liberal-minded and tolerant toward the homosexual agenda.”
Wait, wait. I don’t know about ‘controversial’. I know that when we first got married, in the South, it was important. Not necessarily bad, but people felt strongly about it. In the North, it was more of a novelty for the longest time.
I haven’t really noticed anything one way or another, not in a long time.
As to liberal, yeah, probably. Only liberals would be OPEN to being ready to tell the entire family to fuck off, this is who i want to spend forever with.
Conservatives like you are more likely to reject the possibility.

“It's not just interracial marriage, Satan is trying to break down ALL boundaries of nationality,”
Not only is my wife the same nationality as me, we were both 2nd class petty officers in the Navy you uptight, self-important, bubble-brained idiot.

“heritage,”
Oh. Well, my heritage is the Mayflower and Ellis island, hers is slave ships. So, you know, nautical. We both come from over the Atlantic.

“race,”
It’s not just interracial, Satan is breaking down race as a boundary?

“ religion”
Yeah, but I went to Catholic Wedding School so she could have her Catholic Wedding.

“and even gender.”
Yes, yes, only Satan can explain why men find men attractive.

“Again, the Bible permits interracial marriage in Hebrews 13:4; but it is a sin to deliberately promote such relationships as part of a New World Order agenda.”
Racist, KJV-Onlyist, Conspiracy Theorist, Sexist, Control Freak. It’s a wonder you make it out of your house on a given day…

Thomas Stone #racist #wingnut #conspiracy

@Conscience #259183

Most of the people i’ve met in the service see the person first. They always have. But some people are still stupid. The mask comes off.
My experience with the Navy was positive. A few individuals, not so much.
And outside the service,they expect us to all be a stereotype. much

Derrick #fundie

“We have seen The Fellowship of the Rings for the purpose of reporting on it,”
Oh, and I am SURE you took your seat with popcorn and an open mind, yepper, sure.

“and it is filled with satanic imagery--pentagrams,”
Saruman's Pentacle? Not exactly ‘Filled’ with that set design piece, was it?

“demons that look exactly like real demons, etc.”
Huh? Bilbo in ‘my precious’ mode?
Well, he’s supposed to be scary and under evil influence, there. So, special effects, huH? Who knew they worked?
Or did you mean the Balrog?
Gonna have to scroll way, WAY back, here, and say, ‘Special effects.’

“Gary has seen many demons, and there is no way those 'demons' could have been created for the set without somebody knowing what the real ones look like.”
So, my favorite story about the movie Alien is that Giger designed the alien by the visions he got the night he took acid and fucked two transgendered women. All of his art since then, and the xenomorph, are creations as he tries to process that night.
What did YOU do to start seeing demons, Gary?

“If you enjoy fellowshipping with the representations of real demons in The Fellowship of The Rings,”
Ring.
The entire POINT OF THE FUCKING MOVIE is that they got together to destroy ONE RING. THE Ring. Most of the other rings aren’t even on screen.
HOW could you miss this if you’re watching the movie TO REPORT ON IT?
Jesus…

“then you are willingly fellowshipping with devils.”
I dunno, I’ve seen a lot of shipping. The ones with devils really seem to stretch the possibilities, but also the recovery time necessary.
But as Data once said about fanfic: I believe many people are overestimating the capacity of my battery system.

“You must repent before you are too hardened in the love of this sin to respond to godly reproof.”
Godly reproof?
This is the god who killed every man, woman, child, baby, fetus, and blastocyst because he made men wicked in their nature?
Is it POSSIBLE for me to be shipping too hard to notice the reproof that Jehovah is capable of?

Gunny G #fundie

SoulTaker* #fundie

“An Atheist cannot smell, touch, taste, or see the beginning of the universe,”
No, but we can deduce many things about it if we use SCIENCE.

“thus they really have no idea whether a transient being exists, or not,”
Transient? We’re all transient. We exist temporarily, coming and going in a short span of time.
Did you mean transcendent?
Yeah, a transcendent being would be supernatural. Atheists TEND not to believe in the supernatural. Or, our demands for evidence are seldom meant…

“despite all the overwhelming evidence makes the possibilty of current state of things in the universe being an "accident" or random”
Makes the possibility…what? Compelling?
Impossible? Did you ever consider letting the post wait for an hour and then reading it before sending it?
And, no, the general idea is NOT that everything is random. Laws compel certain things to happen predictably.

“like how If the elements in our atmosphere were even a few percentage points different, every living thing on earth would die.”
Oh, yes. If the conditions we evolved in were different, we wouldn’t be alive. Kind of like all of the great-die-offs we’ve identified in evolutionary history, huh?

“Are you kidding me, you ask me to believe that something that random to have occured?”
No. I really don’t give two flying fucks what you believe. I WOULD like you to actually UNDERSTAND it before you dismiss it, but clearly that’s asking quite a lot.

“Sorry but I'll keep my transient being theory,”
Good luck with that. Hope some day you’ll figure out what the fuck your theory is.

“though how irrational, it is far more rational right now than anything anybody has thought of.”
No, it’s really not.
You don’t know fuck about the ‘theory’ you think you’re mocking, which makes you look pretty idiotic.