Welcome to Fundies Say the Darndest Things

You’re looking at an archive of the most hilarious, bizarre, ignorant, bigoted, and terrifying quotes from fundies all over the internet.

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Sunshine Mary #fundie sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com

Your wife is very wrong to withhold sex from you. It sounds like you are compatible in every other area and - correct me if I am wrong - you used to be compatible sexually. She may be in a vicious downward spiral due to not receiving the benefit of semen exposure, which would increase her sex drive and decrease her feelings of malaise.

What if you said to her that you needed to have sex with her (and with no artificial contraception - just NFP if necessary) and that she didn't have to enjoy it but she had to submit to it? Would she go along with it out of a sense of duty? I know this is wildly unattractive to men, but sometimes we have to do things for our spouse's benefit, you know? If she started regularly having sex and getting that cocktail of hormones, it is possible - not guaranteed but possible - that this could help.

Of course, she might not consent to this and because marital rape (itself a logical fallacy) is illegal, you cannot do anything about that. Now I personally believe that marital "rape" laws should be repealed for just this reason - sometimes women need what they (think they) do not want. Marital "rape" (which is not really a thing, even if the law says it is) is actually for the benefit of women, not for the lust of men (I am speaking of normal marriages and normal men here, not that very small percentage of men who truly are evil). This is my personal opinion and IS NOT ADVICE. No one reading here should "rape" their wife - that is illegal and will land you in jail, even if you are doing it for her benefit.]

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Sunshine Mary #fundie sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com

In fact, one of the reasons given for the destruction of Sodom was the fact that the inhabitants practiced homosexuality – hence the word sodomy. It is clear that, contrary to what the GLAAD spokeswoman said, true Christians believe homosexuality to be a grave sin, and this is all that Mr. Robertson was noting. He did not call for homosexuality to be outlawed or for violence or discrimination against gays. He simply pointed out that it is neither logical (and it isn’t, even from an evolutionary point of view; homosexual behavior would have to be just about the most selected-against trait imaginable) nor moral according to Christian (and most other religious) doctrine.

But there are no bullies like queer bullies. It isn’t enough to live-and-let-live. Now you must be an enthusiastic advocate and supporter of sodomy and willing to preach the moral goodness of homosexuality or face intimidation, threats of violence, censorship, and loss of your livelihood.

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Sunshine Mary #fundie sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com

A response to one of her readers who complained that the U.S. tax code punishes traditional families with stay at home moms:

Exactly. The tax code…and also the fact that husbands’ taxes are redistributed to welfare sluts. So each working man isn’t supporting just his own family, but some other alpha cad/thug’s bitches and their babies. That gets expensive, and since he has NO CHOICE about supporting the alpha cad/thug’s bitches and babies, but he DOES have a choice about farming his own wife out for pay…well. You do the math.

Great Society indeed.

Thanks, Feminists! There are no words to describe how despicable I find feminists and the incredibly destructive social policies which they have demanded.

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Sunshine Mary #fundie sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com

[Part of a much longer post in which Sunshine Mary warns that Patriarchy keeps women from behaving like primates called bonobos.]

Darwinists might have their own religious-like way of putting it: till you return to the bonobos, for out of them you were taken; for you were bonobos, and to bonobos you shall return.

As for me, all this has led me to conclude something we might call the Theory of Feminine Devolution:
A modern woman not firmly under the control of a responsible adult man will tend to devolve into a bonobo-like state.

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Sunshine Mary #fundie sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com

There are no circumstances listed in the Bible in which it is morally licit for a woman to divorce her husband. I have looked very carefully; there are none. Consider that in light of this verse:

For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the Lord of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” (Malachi 2:16)

The God Who says He hates divorce has made no allowance in His Holy Scriptures for wifely divorce. Those who are Catholic perhaps can seek an annulment, but for those of us who are Protestant, there is no exit door from marriage for women. The most we are permitted is to separate from our husbands and stay single and chaste until such a time as we might be reunited:

10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)

Did you get that? A wife must not separate from her husband, let alone divorce him, but if things are so bad that she must separate, she must remain alone or she is an adulteress:

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Sunshine Mary #fundie sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com

From a post about why males AND females prefer to work for male bosses:

Women naturally prefer being under a man’s authority.

It’s unnatural to be under a woman’s authority if she isn’t related to you. Being under a woman’s authority feels sort of unstable. Traditional human tribal cultures were almost always led by male chiefs, and women naturally prefer that. When I worked in the public schools, I always preferred working under a male principal to working under a female one, even when the female principals were super nice. It just creates this feeling of security in a woman to take orders from a man; she’ll feel more desire to please a male boss and work harder to do so. If she does well and he praises her, she will feel more satisfaction than if her boss were a woman. As adult women, we were designed to submit to men, not to other women, and it feels unnatural to us to be bossed around by a woman.

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Sunshine Mary #fundie sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com

I had two choices at the end of my first date with my husband: put out or no second date. He didn’t directly say so, but it was understood. So I put out. I wanted to anyway, so it wasn’t like it was some traumatizing thing. But the fact that I wanted to was in conjunction to the fact that I had to do so if I wanted to continue seeing him. Understand?

So, I willingly became his concubine, like 80% of other women do with their men. And I (and they) enjoyed it, but I was very much wanting his commitment, too. My choices, again, were this:

- Put out immediately. Continue to see him. Have a slim hope that he will put a ring on it.

- Do not put out. Do not see him again. Have no hope that he will put a ring on it.

(Reminder: I was a lapsed Christian and he was an atheist, so two sexually-active Christians *might* have a slightly different script, but it will probably only be a matter of how long they wait to jump in bed together).

The right choice would have been the second one: do not put out, do not see him again, do not get a ring.

But…and here is where it gets tricky…suppose I had done that? Suppose I had continued doing that? I’d be 44 and single. I would also be righteous and blessed by God…but I’d probably have no husband. As it stands, I was unrighteous and I got the prize. I have a man who committed to me.

Again: It is WRONG but that does not make it UNTRUE. See the difference? Other women see this. They see this example, and they understand what it means. In particular, non-Christian women see this choice: put out and eventually you may get a man to commit. Don’t put out and you will never get a man to commit. Even if they WANTED to be chaste – which they don’t – how could they? They only could do so if they committed to a single life. As they should, but who wants that? I didn’t. Neither do most other women.

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Sunshine Mary #fundie sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com

(Talking about her husband)

Fitness testing and all that is quashed immediately, usually by making a sexual comment to me. He jokingly treats me like I'm a dim-witted f-ck toy a lot of the time, and despite what feminists will say, I like that. But he's quite capable of being serious with me when it's needed, and we will sit down together in the evening and have really interesting conversations. But I don't think these qualities make him a natural alpha, just a good husband. We were separated not because I no longer loved him or wanted him but because he wouldn't stop sleeping with women that he worked with, had gone to school with, were my friends or coworkers, were his friends' girlfriends, etc ad nauseum.

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Sunshine Mary #fundie sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com

In the past, women behaved properly because they wanted to be seen in a good light by men. They wanted this because they knew they needed men both to survive and in order to be happy. But it was frustrating because we had to rein in our worst tendencies.

Feminism was supposed to free us from men’s judgement. Feminism was supposed to allow us to act out our worst tendencies while simultaneously forcing men to suck it up and like it. And because they were able to influence both the cultural narrative and the legislature, feminists made it difficult for men to voice their true opinions. Thus feminists imagined they had won; they believed they had succeeded in making men actually like women at their worst.

The manosphere has been a huge wake up call for feminists because they have to confront the horrifying reality that they have utterly and completely failed. Men do not like fat sluts. They did not like them then and they do not like them now and they never will like them.

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Sunshine Mary #fundie sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com

Are women equal to men in ability? When considering whether women are equal to men in ability, ask yourself this question, ladies. Would you rather be shipwrecked on a desert island with a man or another woman? Of course, we women have our strengths. When properly trained, we are good at nurturing children. We can be content making our homes so long as no other woman is whispering rebellious poison in our ears. But are we generally equal to men in ability? No. Women are generally inferior to men in ability. On average we are smaller, weaker, invent almost nothing, produce almost nothing…except for children, that is. We are able to do this one thing that men cannot do; in every other area, we are inferior and it is merely an illusion propped up by artifice that we are equal to men.

If the welfare state which exists due to taxes disproportionately paid by men were to disintegrate, the myth that women are not inferior to men would quickly evaporate. And do you know what? That fact does not bother me! It does not bother me that I am generally inferior to my husband. Rather, that fact fills me with a profound gratitude for his presence in my life and makes me acutely aware of how fortunate I am to be under his protection.

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Jospeh of Jackson #fundie sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com

Indeed, being a husband is like being a master. Ever heard of animal husbandry?

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/husbandry

Go check out definition 2.

It’s not an equal relationship. That man is responsible for your safety and provisioning, your spiritual growth, maturity in faith, physical health (as far as it can be maintained), and emotional stability. He is responsible for cultivating you in much the same way a farmer is responsible for cultivating a crop. He must provide a safe environment, tend you, feed you, correct mistakes, and keep evil things that would consume you away. It’s not an equal relationship at all. Your job is to have children, do what he tells you, and support him with any gifts or talents you have. That is unless you can find something in scripture that I missed?

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Sunshine Mary #fundie sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com

Well, outlawing fornication and getting rid of marital rape laws would exist within a whole constellation of changes that would get us back to sanity: eliminate no-fault divorce; eliminate affirmative action (you sink or swim on your own merit); outlaw abortion, eliminate the alphabet soup of welfare programs; get women the hell out the military where all they do is cause problems. Oh and repeal the 19th amendment.

Am I missing anything?

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Sunshine Mary #fundie sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com

Because a woman can never possess the power that is unique to men and still maintain her femininity, she desires to be made to submit to that power. When he ravishes her, he allows her to submit sexually, and she can temporarily be filled with the power she desires but can never have. This is why the marital act is emotionally satisfying; he desires to conquer and she desires to be conquered and experience his uniquely masculine power.

Although I doubt that they could put it into words, feminists must understand this on some level. It is not likely coincidence that feminists have gone after masculine power, most especially in the sexual realm, and sought to neuter it. What better way to destroy the desire between a man and his wife, and thereby destroy that which makes a marriage a marriage than by removing the power from men and giving it to women? Why it’s even more effective if we can get men to voluntarily give up their power themselves to women! Of course, this causes women to find their husbands sexually repulsive.

Marriage is the symbolic picture God gave us of Christ and His bride, the Church. Given that the desire to be ravished by her man’s power helps bond a woman to her husband, it is clearly a good thing and of God. Neutering this power is simply Satan’s way of using feminism as a pawn to weaken the bonds of love and desire between men and their wives in an attempt to destroy Christ’s Bride by destroying the beautiful symbol of Christ’s love that is earthly marriage.