reactionary and revolutionary nationalism are fundamentally different
Even if we subscribe to whatever weird worldview you have and admit that this might be true, if bigots from one of the world's richest and most priviledged countries (5th highest HDI in Asia, highest number of patents per capita and per GDP in the world, number 1 on the Bloomberg Innovation Index, 3rd highest ECI in the world, etc.) can somehow claim to be the good ones, then any such distinction is utterly meaningless.
sexpats in my country
Are overwhelmingly the native Koreans. I don't like either of those communities, as would be obvious to anyone looking at my post history there, but I have to give props to a certain user on r/aznidentity for compilling the South Korean government's data on international marriages, which were then reposted to incels.is by a user of that site for me to find.
Do you know which types of unions, according to those official data, fit the "sexpat" stereotype the best, with men from rich countries marrying women from poor ones, presumably because those women didn't have many other options? The ones with Korean men marrying women from other, much poorer East and Central Asian countries, by a friggin' mile. According to the data, in 2020, there were roughly seven unions between Korean men and women from other East Asian countries, to each one with the genders reversed. For unions with South East Asians, the gender ratio was roughly 14 to one, while for the Central asians, it was 15 Korean Man/ Local Woman unions for each one with the genders reversed.
And those are the 2020 figures, which were a significant improvement from the 2010 ones. The ratios on those, just a decade old ones, were, respectively, 9.54, 98.73 (yes, 49,759 vs 504) and 38.51 to one.
Sure, there were more North American men marrying Korean women than vice-versa, "yellow fever" and all. The ratio was, roughly, four such unions for each one with the genders reversed in 2010, and three to one in 2020. However, everything except the first, "Big Three", is pretty much irrelevant, as those types of unions numbered over 100,000 overall, while none of the rest of the international marriages came even close to 10,000 by themselves, and just barely broke through that barrier together.
Interestingly, despite Korean men overall being much more open to marrying foreign people from poorer countries than their female counterparts were, being more likely to marry not just other Asians, but also Latin Americans and Russians (In fact, the large amount of Korean men marrying Russian women was the only reason why Korean/European marriages had no serious gender imbalance. Note that the median per capita wealth in Russia is 5,431 USD, compared to South Korea's 89,671,) they were less likely to marry Africans or South Asians than the Korean women were.
Now, certainly, I could speculate why those men, coming from a country near-infamous for its association of paleness with beauty, would seemingly balk at marrying women from those two specific regions, but I think I've already destroyed your argument enough as it is.