Navaros #fundie

Navaros #fundie imdb.com

No, God's Penis is not a biological organ. I never said God's Penis was the same as man's penis. Obviously it wouldn't be. That is why I pointed out God has a Holy, Righteous Penis. That is to say, it's not the same as man's corrupted, fleshy one.

As I said when this subject first came up, once again: Penises are not just for sex & peeing. It is only because man is evil that he thinks of penises exclusively in those terms.

Man is made in the image of God the Father. That is the primary reason why man has a penis.

You cannot insert your evil prejudicial ideas of man's penis onto God - which is exactly what you are doing. God's Penis is not equal to man's penis. It's really not hard to understand.

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old comment by Hmmmm

I see a flaw in your statements... When the bible talks about creation we have two different stories: One where humankind is made in God's image and one where humankind is NOT (necessarily) made in God's image. The story where humankind IS made in God's image says that God made man and woman both in his image, therefore it is safe to assume that God has both a penis AND a vagina (or neither).
The other story is where God made a human, not man, not woman, human. It was after he created this human that he decided it was lonely, stole its rib, and made man and woman different from each other, one with a penis, one with no penis.

Now, depending upon which story you're subscribing to, you can still say that, yes, God made humankind in his image, with a penis. HOWEVER, in Genesis, God was NOT God the Father, or God the Son or God the Holy Spirit... He was just God. The one, the only. (The trinity thing is a new testament idea).

SOOOOOOO anywho, whether or not God has a penis is irrelevant, seeings how when God created man he either A) Made man and woman at the same time, so he has a vagina too or no penis whatsoever or B) God doesn't have a penis because we were not made in his image.

Damn, you Christians need to learn the bible.

old comment by samhoustontx

Discussion of God's Penis always causes discomfort among believers. Here is my usual approach to elicit opinions.

According to the Bible, man was created in God's Image. God's Genitals must be biologically functional, since Mary a normal pregnancy and had a normal birth. God Penis shoots real Nails.

Is God's Penis circumcised? If "no", why not? If "yes", who did the job?

Did God have an Ejaculation prior to copulating with Mary? There is no mention of God having a mate. Does He have intercourse with angels? If God never copulated with angels or humans before Mary, did He have a test run by Masturbating?

Did God explain to Mary his entire plan for Jesus from conception to ascension into heaven? If "no", then did God seduce Mary (much like Satan deceived Eve) and did He use His Penis in a gentle, loving way? Was there any warm-up foreplay requiring Mary to do various things with His Penis? Or, did He use His Penis to brutally rape Mary?

In the copulation, did Mary enjoy God's Penis? Did Mary like God's Penis more than Joseph's penis? (For sure, God's Penis is perfect -- so, how did compare to Joseph's penis?)

Just for fun, does God copulate with modern humans? Does God want another human child? If not, does He use "birth control" -- what methods?

When humans (both males and females) have wet dreams, is that God playing with our genitals? I don't want God to play with my genitals or to copulate with my wife, so how can I stop Him? (I don;t mind his female angels playing with me.)

old comment by Anon-e-moose

"No, God's Penis is not a biological organ. I never said God's Penis was the same as man's penis. Obviously it wouldn't be. That is why I pointed out God has a Holy, Righteous Penis."

image

HI, I’M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN’S WEARHOUSE. YOUR MOTHER MAY HAVE BEEN BLESSED MORE TIMES BY THE SACRED WHITE RIVER OF MY PELVIC PALADIN, BUT THAT IS NO REASON TO GIVE ME THE GREEN EYE OF JEALOUSY, MY COCK-LOVING CAVALIER. BETWEEN US, TONIGHT WILL BE RELIGIOUS RAPTURE, FOR YOUR ANAL CLEFT SHALL BE MY GREAT SEA, AND I SHALL BE ITS MOSES, CLEAVING ITS MIGHTY CHOCOLATE OCEAN TO MAKE WAY FOR THE SAFE PASSAGE OF MY TESTICULAR TRIBE, HAVING BEEN GRANTED MEPHITIC FREEDOM FROM THE TYRANNY OF ENSLAVEMENT BEHIND A LOCKED PROSTATE. TO DO THIS, I WILL READY MY LONGINUS TO PIERCE YOUR BACKSIDE’S SACRED DOMAIN YOU WILL SCREAM FIRST IN PAIN, THEN IN PASSION AS ITS STEEL-LADEN GIRTH STRETCHES AND RIPS THE FABRIC OF YOUR MORTAL INNARDS, DISIMBUING YOU OF YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS, LEADING YOU TO A HEAVEN, THEN REVIVING YOUR FEELING OF PHYSICAL REALITY LIKE A ONCE-CRUCIFIED CHRIST RETURNING TO EARTH. I GUARANTEE IT.

old comment by Anon-e-moose

@#1535004

"It is really hard to understand why you want to think about a fictional character's penis, especially one with no official artwork"

I'm reminded of another thread (don't know which one) where someone had posted a pic.

Said 'character' was the size of Galactus, was naked, had a penis the size of 'The Traveller' (the Whale Probe devastating Earth unintentionally in "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home"), and was fucking Earth with it.

The fact said pic was an artwork by the famous homoerotic artist Tom of Finland shouldn't be hard to understand, least of all come as no surprise to anyone.

Methinks Navaros here had also seen that, but was so affected by it ('Can't Unsee!' Brllo Pads & Brain Bleach time! X3 ), that it warped his mindset to this extent, and he's having to backpedal to cover up his own latent closet-dwelling. >:D

old comment by Diablo_Drumset

Hello, poster of IMDB here. Formerly went by the name of theknightofdarkness, have been posting on the IMDB boards around 9 years or so now.

I contacted fstdt before, I believe I also posted in the comments. This was not written by Navaros, this was written by RandyWalksWithGod. The character of Randy is my creation and he is a POE.

Navaros was also confronted on the Ben Stein's evolution documentary board about stealing my work, he did not deny the charges. Please take this off, it is a piece of comedy. If you want to put this on a list of 100 funniest things a teenage comedian ever said online while making fun of Christians, please do so. It does not belong here

Navaros #fundie imdb.com

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