Fragile Masculinity Award
For when heterosexuality is too gay
Buying a Valentine's Day gift for your wife a month early is the gayest thing you could do.
14 comments
Granted it’s not quite the right timing, at least not in Japan. You want a month after Valentine’s Day.
But…does “gay” mean anything beyond “not unalloyed masculine” to you? You never worry there’s such a thing as too masculine? The early Taoists would have a field day with your understandings of masculinity and femininity.
The only way to STAY STRAIGHT, of course, is to be a Confirmed Bachelor trying to get acclaim with your fellow Confirmed Bachelors, spending all day discussing how, you know, when you think about it, women don't really have all that much charm, physically or personally, compared to men, and also the aesthetics of the hypermasculine form, and especially that of the mighty Thundercock...
“Buying a Valentine's Day gift for your wife a month early is the gayest thing you could do.”
We used to give each other blowjobs on my first boat to make sure we were NOT gay. As long as you threw up afterwards, you were straight. If you enjoyed it, though, you’d turned latent homosexual and had to quit.
But, yeah, flowers for no reason, sent to her office or school, when twenty coworkers or students keep asking WHY she’s getting flowers, that’s super-gay. I’d be better off asserting my manfullnessity by just ordering her to cook me a steak, huh? Make it all about me, my needs, my wants, my self-image. That’s what marriage is all about… Me.
Being straight is gay?
Being straight is gay?
Because the non-gay way is no present and "who deserves to be served tonight, slave?"
I like the special award, good description!
The combination of pressuring young people into marriage, forbidding divorce, and restrictive gender roles pushed by conservatives results in a plethora of loveless marriages. Rather than consider that something might be wrong with the way they’re doing things, they have chosen to romanticize it; Men are SUPPOSED to hate women while simultaneously wanting sex with them, people like Walsh proclaim. It’s just human nature. But whoops, here comes a guy who doesn’t seem to hate women. We can’t have that. People will start questioning why our perfect, traditional marriages are always so full of hate. He must die. Want proof? Look what they did to poor Jocat. A silly, 30-second animation about how much he likes women, and he got bullied off the internet with doxxing and death threats. Despicable.
Nick ‘Catboi’ Fuentes said that having sex with women is gay.
Like him, the Romulan/Yautja-esque Cloaking Device for your Armoured Closet must be failing, Matty-boy.
As for the Fifteenth Doctor, he showing he has the moves whilst wearing a kilt to a band with a trans person as it’s lead singer proves he’s not in secure: and he travels the space-time continuum in a closet-esque box that is trans cendental, albeit with a failed Chameleon Circuit.
And the only thing the Daleks fear about him are his wits & Sonic Screwdriver.
@Anon-e-moose #187576
Well, I suspect he thinks sex with men is obviously gay. I’m not sure it was from Fuentes himself, but I get the feeling they deem any mental/emotional mien besides unflappable forcefulness and conviction (whatever it is they’re beholden to) as “gay”/weak and so doomed to die. The offerings I pulled in from Megha seem to support this.
Maybe they have a sense of “Fellas, is it gay to be at ease with oneself?”, at that…
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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