Babylon Bee #homophobia

Babylon Bee #homophobia babylonbee.com

Man Hangs 'Straight Pride' Flag On Doorposts So Monkeypox Will Pass Over
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COVINGTON, LA — With the monkeypox virus plague tearing its way through gay bathhouses and teachers' lounges across the country, one desperate man hung a "straight pride" flag on his doorposts in hopes that the plague will pass over his household.

"While the monkeypox plague strikes our neighbors, we'll be protected — and the Angel of Monkeypox Death will pass over us," said local advertising executive Marcus Smithson to members of the press in front of his newly-protected home, puffing out his chest with pride as he gestured to the orange-and-black banner behind him.

"After COVID, gas prices, all the financial judgment we've endured for the last few years, we decided it was time to prepare for whatever crescendo of devastation was coming." Smithson added that despite some neighbors touting alternative preparation methods, "this flag will make sure no same-sex funny business enters these doors."

At publishing time, Smithson was safe from Monkeypox but had his house burned down by activists for hanging the "homophobic" flag.

17 comments

and of course the "straight pride"-flag pictured (which is why I included the picture) is the "super straight"-flag, i.e. "straight and transphobic"

Babylon Bee

Them again, with their fundie version of satire.

one desperate man hung a "straight pride" flag on his doorposts in hopes that the plague will pass over his household. "While the monkeypox plague strikes our neighbors, we'll be protected — and the Angel of Monkeypox Death will pass over us,"

…I can’t make this shit up even if I tried. Congratulations, reality, you’re once again more insane than any fiction.

At publishing time, Smithson was safe from Monkeypox but had his house burned down by activists for hanging the "homophobic" flag.

I know I shouldn’t laugh at stuff like this, but still… Haw-haw!

EDIT: Alright, ignore this comment please. It seems it was satire, mea culpa.

Apart from the last line, that could have been a satire of people who read the Babylon Bee.

@Timjer #136503

It didn’t happen. It’s a satire site appealing to right-wing Christians.

@Citizen_Justin #136505

Oh, I kinda feel stupid now… Still, in my defense, it’s harder and harder to see what is satire and what is not these days.

@Citizen_Justin #136504

And since THAT was the punchline, the overall satire of it simply doesn’t work at all. When your entire text points towards one funny notion (it is nebulous here, but I guess “people overestimate how much their straightness will keep them from getting monkeypox” would work and might even be true), but your punchline goes into an entirely different one, with a different target, and doesn’t even state something that is truthful even in an exaggerated way (here “straight people are being persecuted for their identity”), then either you are going for anti-humor, or, more likely, you have no idea how to properly write satire. It is as if the Babylon Bee writers had an actually good idea for satire, but realized halfway through writing it that it targeted their own audience, so they threw in some persecution complex to make it seem like it was satirizing LGBT and their alleged “intolerance” towards “super”-straight identity instead. Judging from previous posts, they are simply unwilling to satirize their own audience in a way that those would notice, which makes for terrible satire overall.

There are straight couples involved in Pride Parades who proudly wave the Rainbow Flag and wear T-shirts/carry signs with the slogan 'Parents for LGBT People'. Nobody's burning down their houses.

When Reality isn't as strange as Fiction, so much for your so-called 'Satire', BB.

Y'see - and this is what you're missing: to the extent that even Stevie Wonder can see it - Satire, from "That Was The Week That Was" in the 1960s to "The Last Leg" today: with "Private Eye" magazine in between, has to be grounded firmly in that which you're missing, BB: Reality.

“With the monkeypox virus plague tearing its way through gay bathhouses and teachers' lounges across the country,”

Wait, what? Teachers’ lounges? What’s BabbleBee saying, here? I don’t get the joke… I mean, i get that BB only has one joke. But are they accusing teachers of being gay groomers?

You know what would have been funny? If he instead caught monkeypox from the teenage babysitter he's banging while the wife is out shopping and his nazi friends beat him because that's all the proof they need that he's secretly gay. It would be cruel, but it would work as a better punchline than this shit.

<@KeithInc.> #136528

Most likely yeah, they’ve done a few pieces recently about how teachers are groomers. They tried and failed to disguise it as satire, as usual.

Talismanic superstition? Or public display of bigotry? Maybe the author subscribes to both? Or was the intention to make fun of those ideas, or to promote them?

It's getting harder and harder to tell if they're actually mocking their own audience.

Jupiter, Florida - The Gotham City serial killer known as the Joker has been arrested following a terrorist attack of the office of Conservative satire website The Babylon Bee. According to survivors, the self-proclaimed Clown Prince of Crime committed a poison gas attack using his infamous Joker Venom and taunted the victims with blasphemous jokes as they died of fatal laughing fits.
The Joker happily confessed to the crime, citing as his motive that he found the Babylon Bee’s satire “an affromt against humour”. He further claimed to have previously attempted to attack the website’s crew through booby-trapped Bibles. However, investigation of the crime scene found these Bibles. and indeed all Bibles present, to have been untouched since delivery.

Is this meant to be satire? They sure didn’t ace their literature courses at school.

@Bastethotep #136570

I still prefer the dehydration machine where the little dust mounds can be preserved and rehydrated back into people if/when wanted :)

They believe they are. If they're making fun of the right, they're great at it

If they are right wing, they are fucking up badly.