Good day, children. Today our Grade 2 class celebrates another Transplendent day of anti-white Transness here in our magical kingdom of Translandia-Canadodoland. Remember that Grand-Wizard Lord Soros’ Trans Inc. liberated you from your own Caucasianness and Transformed you into mock-POC honoured allies after the State liberated you from your racist whyt-peepo parents who were charged with procreating whiteness and jailed in the penal colonies of all-white Antarctica to pay for their ancestors’ crimes of spreading Intergalactic Whiteness.

As your non-binary fa’afafine-adjacent genderflorin teacher-friend, I will be using some French words today to honour the anniversary of The Islamic Republic of France that liberated the mother-country whose racist forebears colonized our own country’s two-spirited peoples in the former French imperialist province of Le Pays de Cochons Blanc. So, mes enfants, let us celebrate today’s hagiographic calendar of Trans Saints with two very special hetero-Trans male martyrs.

Today we worship two Autogynophile Trans saints who triumphed over whiteness so that all maleborn be-penised white-beings can proudly flaunt “female” erections in our miniskirts thus liberating us from heteropatriarchal imperialism. Let us kneel and assume the position, ma petit choses. O Trans Saint Stu Rasmussen of Oregon. O Trans Saint Stef-On-Knee of Torontula. O ye Trans martyrs. Thou hast reverse-colonized heteronormative males who renounced their whiteness by donning female clothing and erotically self-sexualizing their Transness by wearing womanhood as a bonerizing skin suit. Blessed Be the Autogynophile jug-wow of your synthetic EEE fake breastial mam-hams. Blessed Be the instruments of your Autogynophile martyrdom, the miniskirt and the blonde she-wig. Deus Sex Trangendera! O Trans! Blessed Be!