“No one goes to bed hungry that is trusting in God to provide for them.”
Old joke. Rain is unending and they order an evacuation. Schmidt’s neighbor sayd, “We’re leaving, i got room in the pickup, you need a ride?”
Schmidt says, “No, God will not let me drown.”
An hour later, a deputy knocks on his door. “We’re evacuating everything by the river, you need our help?”
Schmidt says, “No, God will not let me drown.”
An hour after that, a National Guard boat sails by Schmidt’s farm. He’s crouching on his roof. They offer to take him to dry land.
Schmidt says, “No, God will not let me drown.”
Two hours after that, Schmidt is in Heaven. God looks up. “Schmidt? What the hell are you doing here? You’re not due for another ten years!?!?”
Schmidt says, “God, you let me drown.”
“What? No, man, you’re a favorite! I took special care for you! Didn’t the neighbor show up? Or the deputy? Or the National guard? How the fuck did you drown?”