Mark #fundie

A reader request came in for The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim. Our editor in chief purchased the game and I drew the shortest straw. Thus I am reviewing it. The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim is a role playing game told in the first person perspective. It is medieval times where magic and dragons are dangers. The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim has an ethical system to it. Criminals can be attacked on sight. Players can behave, or go around murdering as they see fit. Let us be honest, what sane person finds that fun?

The blood and gore in The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim are so over the top it hurts the image of the entire video game industry. The camera is a constant pain since the player is in control of it. The level design loves to give all kinds of U-turns in tunnels. Expect to get motion sickness from The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim. Women are not very modest, and after killing them the player can undress them down to their underwear.

The language in The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim is just as nauseous as the grainy and dark graphics. It is like The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim does everything possible to be as offensive as possible. A wide array of false gods are worshiped in The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim. The music is generally moody and dark. This game feels more like a horror film than a role playing experience.

The glitches are what chops this bloody gore off at the knees. Players have to go back to a previous save, or start the game completely over because quests can’t be completed. Imagine getting an item for a character from bandits and that character does not recognize you did it. You also have no way of handing the key misc item over to them. There are visual glitches, and audio glitches. The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim tries to do a lot but fails way too often.

The combat in The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim is boring and unrealistic. A wide array of sexual deviancy is allowed. The best way to describe The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim is if someone imagined going down into hell and then they tried to portray it as a good thing. That sums up my painful experience with this game.



So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!

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