Children are Loud, Stinky, Cruel Terrorists – And Women Love Them

“I am become Noise, destroyer of concentration.”

I have expressed many, many types of hatred on this website, but I do not believe I have ever fully expressed my hatred for children. I would like to do so now, and also address the obvious purpose for a creature whose purpose often seems a mystery: women.
A hatred I have most certainly expressed before is my hatred for millennial men who have children and then spend time with them. There is nothing more pathetic than a man holding a small child. I feel utterly repulsed by such a scene. But millennial men have received so little instruction and no mentoring whatsoever from their loafing boomer fathers that these freaks apparently believe that holding an infant is part of being a father. Some of them will even change the diapers of their little brats – or feed them with a bottle! Can you imagine! Simulating a woman’s breast with a device? These are no doubt the same men who enjoy it when their girlfriends stick dildos in their anuses, as they have some sick fascination with “being the woman.”
The fact of reality is that children offer no appeal, whatsoever. They are loud, stinky and cruel. There is no sound more vile than the screech of a child. It is even more vile than the crying of an infant. Their smells come in all sorts and all of them are foul. Their cruelty is nigh as boundless as that of a woman – for they destroy with impunity. Perhaps you are sitting at your computer, just typing away in-between sips of a fine liquor… and a child, who appears to have been at rest mere seconds earlier, rushes your spot like some kind of African-American sports player and smashes your drink right all over your keyboard. When he sees your horror, what does he do? Why, he laughs of course. Laughs maniacally, out of pure sadism and hatred for the grown man’s world of doing things and getting things done. When you yell at the devilish creature, what does he then do? Cries out! Screaming, as though he is the victim! He runs to his mummy to tell her of the injustice he has suffered at your hands, and her, being herself a hater of getting things done, sides with him against you!
I understand that some of you reading this are rubbing your necks and thinking, “jeez, man, oh jeez, he’s talking about me, isn’t he… the diaper changing, the bottle… oh man, jeez…”
Well, bud – it’s your life. I’m not your dad and your dad obviously didn’t explain any of this to you, because I guarantee you, no matter how much of a cuck your boomer father is, he didn’t change your diapers or feed you with a bottle. This is a purely millennial phenomenon, which appears to have come both from a lack of masculine instruction and a lack of masculinity in general. But hey, if you enjoy being a woman – who I am to judge? (Note: I do and will judge.)
However, you may ask yourself why you engage in this behavior with your spawn:

1. If it is actually because you’re making the Soyjak face and getting all excited about it, like the baby is a Funko Pop, then I can’t help you.
2. If it’s because you just thought it was what you were supposed to do because no one ever told you otherwise, and you didn’t really like it or understand why having children would be this unpleasant, then there you go: I just told you, it’s not what you’re supposed to do. Men have never done this stuff with babies, ever, in all of history, and you shouldn’t be doing it. So, just tell your wife she will be doing it from now on. Tell her you’ll do some other task, which is manly, such as mowing the lawn, working to make money or GUARDING THE DOOR WITH A GUN TO KEEP THE RIOTING BLACKS FROM KICKING IT IN AND RAPING HER AND SLITTING HER THROAT, SOMETHING THAT SHE SHOULD PROBABLY BE A LOT MORE GRATEFUL FOR THAN SHE IS.
3. If it is because you have a volatile home life, and if you don’t do it then your wife will create a crisis and crush your soul, then I hear you. Maybe try to negotiate with her, but if you can’t negotiate, then just deal with the reality that you are literally held hostage by that bitch and she can destroy your life whenever she wants for any reason or no reason, and do what you gotta do. Just please, don’t be proud of it. Feel shame about it and hide it from others. Tell others that you don’t do it. Cover it up like you would a perverse fetish.

Your role as a father should be this: be there and let the child know you are there in the background, and that if anything ever comes to try to harm it, you will crush that threat like an insect with the palm of your hand. That is what a child needs from you: he (or she, if you are thus cursed) needs you to be the thing in its environment that maybe doesn’t like it that much, maybe yells at it now and again, but would give his life to keep it safe if he had to, but who would never have to because he is so strong an army of creatures of the night couldn’t make him flinch.
It is a fundamental part of the child’s development that in his early years, he has this dichotomy between nurturer and protector. With that, we get to the actual problem with this disgusting behavior outlined above – because no, I wasn’t just saying all this to call men who care for small children “fags” (although I admit, I do take pleasure in knowing that a few mommy-daddies are going to read this and gasp, “you wound me, sir!”) It is imprinted on a child’s brain, part of the “firmware,” if you will, to look around in his environment and identify a nurturer and protector as distinct entities. The problem with this “two mommies” business is that if you play mommy, then the child is looking around for his father and not finding one. His primitive psyche believes that he was cursed with two mommies, and zero daddies. That is very damaging to the child. It will cause permanent damage to his psyche.
So, again – only engage in this transsexual behavior if there is no other way. Because it is about much more than protecting your own dignity (which you should probably care about more than you do), but about ensuring that the child doesn’t start off life with crippling psychological problems. Children of this age are going to grow up with more than enough serious problems, so if you can manage to create a situation where its brain develops a stable dichotomy between mother and father, you should do that.
I know that many of you cleaned up your lives, got in shape and got married at my direction, and you may be saying, “well why didn’t you tell me this before, Anglin???? Now I feel like an asshole!” Well, the answer to that is: this stuff comes to me in waves when it comes to me, and I never thought about this in detail until yesterday afternoon.
That’s pretty much that.

Women Enjoy These Creatures

Being that a child is a miserable and beastly entity, and given that our NOBLE SONS must go through this larval phase before emerging as glorious statues of Adonis which we send to do our bidding in this world, to march with our banner, carrying our glorious names into the infinite abyss of the future, it is truly fitting that women enjoy their company, as this solves once and for all the mystery of why God chose to create a creature so otherwise pointless as a woman.
Women love the sound of these screeches so much that they will often induce the child to create the noise. Can you imagine it? That most awful of sounds is music to the ears of a woman. She also enjoys the stench of the child, and laughs with him at his cruelties, she herself enjoying the wanton, meaningless destruction and the pain it creates as much as he.
I hope that you are blessed with being able to know what it feels like to be “in the zone” when doing meaningful work. Well, this feeling is something that a woman can only feel when she is caring for children. This is the purpose of her existence, it is the only reason that God created her in the first place.
This is your mystery solved: the solution to the woman problem is to get her pregnant and keep her pregnant. Traditionally – all the way up through the early 2000s – divorces didn’t happen until the youngest child was 10-12. The divorce rate is still much, much, much, much lower for people with small children. So, you need to keep her pregnant until she can’t get pregnant anymore. Do it by hook or by crook. Refuse to allow her to take birth control and if she gets it anyway then replace the pills with placebos. Learn her menstruation cycle, Google when she’s most fertile, seduce her and tell her you’ll pull out and don’t. Do whatever you have to do, just keep her pregnant until she can’t get pregnant anymore. As far as paying for that – well, figure it out, man. This is the existence of our race on the line here – and your marriage, and thereby, all of your money. That is to say: you’re going to be a lot more broke if you end up in divorce than you will be if you end up with twelve kids.