John C. Wright #crackpot #fundie archive.ph

I imagine future historians looking back with awe and horror at the rioting that suddenly erupted all across America when 40 year old nerds and science fiction fans suddenly, and for no apparent reason, descended on Hollywood and New York City, burning and murdering executives in various popular entertainment and publishing industries.

Future historians will be puzzled that Brony cosplayers actually dressed up as supervillains and furries, used jackhammers and dug pits actually into the sidewalks of Manhattan and Los Angeles, then released vicious polar bears to claw and bite their helpless yet screaming victims to a slow but hideously painful death, filming the whole on their cellphones.

Future historians will puzzle over the lack of response from law enforcement, the giggling from judges and guffaws from the national guard, who should have intervened to stop the ghastly slaughter. Scholarly arguments will break out over the question of how large and spontaneous mobs composed largely of large and nonathletic fanboys managed the logistical question of capturing polar bears and transporting them to the United States from Northern Alaska, while the Canadian border was closed.

Of course, no news accounts of the horrific event will be available for study in those future times, since every last member of the mainstream news industry, down to the last intern, was swallowed alive that same week by sudden flaming pits that opened in the Earth, during the exact moment when each was denouncing as racist anyone calling the China Flu ‘the Wuhan virus’– those few reporters spry enough to cling to the crumbling lips of the gaping crater-mouths then being struck by lightningbolts winging down from a clear blue sky.

The future historians will also wonder what triggered the renaissance in popular entertainment, comics, and science fiction that lasted for the next century and a half, until the flying saucer invasion from Alpha Camelopardalis, the last star in the galaxy anyone expected to host a planet peeved with Earthmen.

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