"…the essays, they keep me from thinking that I am the crazy one.”
Well, you’re not CRAZY.
Crazy isn’t a choice.
You’re choosing to hew to a hateful opinion vice supporting your family.
“It’s heartbreaking, confusing, frustrating and deeply sickening to lose a child to this cult when I have worked so hard to raise a brilliant, gorgeous and passionate child.”
You didn’t have to lose the child, that’s your priorities stacked.
“I know he is further gone with each passing day.”
Again, self-inflicted.
“ I know it would be easier for me to cut the cord now rather than to pretend and watch his demise.”
Drama queen
“I feel it’s utterly disrespectful for him to tell me that that son I once knew is now dead, when I am speaking directly to him.”
Ah, poor bitch. And what are you doing that she should respect?
“The daughter who I am now forced to accept is not who I signed up to parent and, frankly, I don’t want to pretend she is”
Poor bitch of an offspring, living her life without your permission.
" Who would have thought he was being brainwashed regarding his own sex?”
Denying the science, denying the truth, denying the daughter.
“I have recently decided to choose myself over his madness.”
Recently? Seems like your natural state.
“I have been told to “f***off” for the last time by this person whom I used to love with every ounce of my being.”
As long as they followed your script and itinerary.
“I have zero support from anyone in my family and most of the people in my life never bring it up; maybe because they don’t want to upset me or they also hope it will just go away.”
Well, sounds like no one needs to upset you. You’ve got it well in hand.
“I keep hoping for a reset to occur, but in my son’s (now “daughter's”) case, he just keeps falling further into the rabbit hole.”
I read somewhere that you can make a transgendered kid suicidal, or quiet, or compliant, but you cannot ever make them cis.
"The person I once knew since the inception of life I am told is dead”
The cardboard cutout you once cared for is gone. You never knew the kid.
“all while I’m still looking straight at him dressed like a freak with red lipstick in a tutu.”
You know, BATMAN couldn’t get me to admit to having these feelings about one of my kids. You can fuck off and die, no one will feel a loss.