[From “My Dad Is a “Toxic Narcissist””]

ADAM — I mean, the Adam — was not the ideal father

He messed things up for his children. Big time

He was maybe what is called in today’s parlance a “toxic narcissist.” He chose what suited him, rather than what suited others

He disrespected his own father in the one thing he had requested. In that moment, he said, “You don’t matter. I do.”

It was the ultimate expression of self-will — and ever since the world has suffered imperfect fathers and unhappy children

Only God, the perfect father, would have thought up the right response to this sad reality: God told us we can’t throw fathers away however much they make their children unhappy, displeased or annoyed

He didn’t say, “Honor your father and mother if they are perfect” or “Honor your father and mother if you like them” or “Honor your father and mother if it’s convenient and easy.”

He said, “Honor your father and mother.” Period[…]
One of the saddest things today is that so many people discard imperfect parents when they are old and their imperfections are more apparent than they were in their children’s childhoods. Psychologists are there to help. They cheer on alienation and estrangement. “You deserve to be with people who lift you up,” they say, “not people who make you down.” They applaud and encourage open rejection of a divine command

The common use of the word “toxic” to describe human beings, suggesting that the mere physical presence of these persons is poisonous, is extremely unkind and cruel. I believe its popularity has originated in the commercial interests of psychologists. How convenient and easy it is to be assured you can cut off people you find difficult! Who wouldn’t pay for that advice?

“Narcissist,” while expressing the sad fact that there are more disturbed and selfish people than ever, is so over-used it has become meaningless. Besides, isn’t it narcissistic to discard narcissists?