kuyohashi

@kuyohashi

Ben Gibson #wingnut

So apparently when QAnon mentions that secret cabal of Satanic pedophiles, they of course mean themselves, and when they mention that Trump is pursuing them, they leave out that it's with a club application form in hand, desperate to join.

Senator Amanda Chase #dunning-kruger #pratt

“It was just awful; we knocked on Little Jimmy's door, and found…*choke! gasp! sputter!* empty Oreo packages and discarded bags of Doritos everywhere! And Jimmy was just sitting on his couch, giggling at old episodes of Scooby Doo! He was too full and too sleepy to eat his dinner! It was Lucifer's Spinach that did this to our baby! We must gather up all the Mary Jane, and hurl it back into the fires of perdition from whence it came in a big public bonfire where we can all get together and watch the sin-smoke return to God!”

Lauren Boebert, US Representative for CO District 3 #fundie #wingnut #crackpot

1) Space Force is to be mocked, because it was created by an idiot who thought it meant zoom-bang action fun shooting down ISIS’ fleet of birds-of-prey.

2) What'd Joe do, call them losers and suckers? Oh wait, no, that was the other guy. What was his name again, I seem to have the warmest, sweetest bout of amnesia concerning Whazzisname?

Mr Bond #psycho #racist

Mr. Bond: Do you expect me to get out on parole in fifteen years, seven if on my best behaviour?
Humanity: No, Mr. Bond; we expect you to die.

….but given that Germany doesn't have the death penalty, being a Nazi fuckwit isn't a capital offense anymore and a life sentence in Europe is nothing like what it is in the States, yeah, you'll probably be out in seven. Probably be welcomed back into the Nazibund with a fucking pizza-party, too.

TyrellFingers #ableist

Wayne Allyn Root #fundie #wingnut

The difference, you aptly-named fuck, is that the deaths under Trump's watch were because he couldn't be arsed enough to give a shit and try to do anything about it. Deaths under Biden's watch are because of a mixture of the infancy of his term, and because Trump's apathy was so great that he left literally nothing for Biden to use! The vaccine loadout was fucking empty when that bloated fuckspittle trundled out of America's house, Biden's first job is to actually get the rollout going after your boy slept on it.

Get. All. The. FUCKED. Wayne.

Paul Bury #fundie #conspiracy #wingnut

ash #conspiracy #wingnut

They will absolutely do a full on Mary-Lou Retton routine in their heads to avoid admitting that Q was a baconnothingburger with cheese. I've seen these idiots actually fucking claim that Q's true identity was Joe Biden I shit you not, and the whole thing was his masterstroke to save the country.

24 Year Vet Who Is Tired Of It #fundie #conspiracy

Joe Biden could give the American people a cure for cancer, flying cars and complete and permanent financial and personal security, and they'd bitch about “why didn't he do that 47 years ago?”

It's not the works they have an issue with, it's the worker; not the message, but the messenger. The only ones allowed to save America are the people who think and look like they do. Anything else, the slightest deviation from their preconceived “norm” is utterly unacceptable, evil and contrary to any values upon which America might have been founded. Truth be damned, their feelings matter more than fact, their ideology more than reality.

In other words, a cult.

Douglas Wilson #sexist #transphobia

@Mathius_dragoon #73812

Slander and calumny devised by his Red diaper baby enemies, naturally.

And I'm not proud to admit it, but the Woodrow Wilson slam did make me chuckle a bit. I know, I'm horrid.

@Zinnia #73787

They like Hoover. Both Hoovers, since I just now realized there were two. They like Herbert for fucking over poor people, never mind that he fucked over everyone else in the doing, and they like J. Edgar for fighting commies, homos and that troublemaking rabblerouser MLK.

Roosh V and E. Michael Jones #conspiracy #fundie #racist

Motherfucker must be talking about Lex Luther, because Marty called for rabbis to be killed, temples to be shuttered, and Jewish texts to be burned. And Calvin was absolutely no different.

Ivo of Vega via Sharon Stewart #ufo #wingnut #magick #conspiracy

This. Just this.

A lot is riding on Mr T now. A lot.

Oh fucking finally, now shit's getting done. I pity the foo’ who thought they could destroy democracy for that orange-tainted dipshit.

Also, you seem to be almost self-aware enough to know that so-called "prophets” claiming that political strife, economic hardships and a fucking pandemic will just magically vanish by some arbitrary day on the calendar, are in fact full of shit. Then you go right back to talking to yourself in a funny voice, Enfield-like. You're no less full of shit then the Nostra-dumbasses you lift your nose at not two breaths earlier.

David Chase Taylor #crackpot #conspiracy #wingnut

*Sighs wistfully*

I know he's face-chewing, tiger-tickling bananapants insane, but at least he's not "dress as a Viking, poop in the halls of power, 'Dude, Dawnguard is real and they're all child-eating Argonians!!’ storm the Capitol” bonkers, and I will take that and soak in it like a warm bath any day. DCT, you are a beacon of soft, crazy white noise amidst a roiling, tumultuous sea of chaotic delusion and I salute you for it. Shine on, you literally crazy diamond.

Heather Murry McCalip #wingnut

@Mathius_dragoon #72997

Wouldn't have been surprised. The cesspool where QAnon got it's start was infamous for it's CP stockpile, and the frummers were beyond okay with frequenting that house of horrors.

Tom Kratman #wingnut #psycho

He needs to do three things

Concede. Step down. Plead guilty.

Or not, on that last one. I want him to fight his hardest should it go the the highest courts, just to watch the smack on his gob when reality once again refuses to give this whiny bitch whatever he wants

Sarah A. Hoyt #wingnut #mammon

@Malingspann #72808

Ah yes, all glory to the ASGET, or “Ass-Get,” as the kids will call it in the future, when they read the chapter in the history books leading up to Belgium becoming the sole world power.

In the ASGET, there is only the Trump party, and you may vote for whichever party you want, so long as it's the Trump party. Then you may petition your supervisor at the sadness and smog factory for a day off and travel to glorious Trumpsylvania (formerly Mar-A-Lago) to pay respects to Glorious Leader Trump, as he lays in State like a Tang-dyed Mao Tse-Tung. Portraits of Glorious Leader will no doubt line the streets as Kim-Jong Eric gives a speech from the Imperial Palace informing the unwashed throngs that universal attendance to his immortal and hamberder-inventing father's memorial military parade is mandatory, and all dissenters will be forced to spend time in Rudy's presence for either one minute, or until suicide. (Spoiler alert, nobody ever lasts a full minute.)

And during all of this, they will be, without the slightest twinge of irony, denouncing the eeeeeevil Commies over in the actual USA, who are just now celebrating the second term of President Stallone and the completion of Mars City 001.

Ben Garrison #racist #crackpot

I seem to recall the police stepping aside and out-sourcing their unwarrented murder of protesters to a kid from out of state, actually.

And Ben can’t remember if he likes Trump one day and hates him the next for not being fash enough. His memory isn't exactly as reliable as the North Star now, is it?

Cloudy NS #fundie #wingnut #conspiracy #psycho #crackpot #psycho

@Spacewyrm #72206

Heathen! Blasphemer! Ace Ventura is comedy genius! Easily the best of the '97 Carrey Triumvirate (The Mask is second, Dumb and Dumber is…okay, it's watchable. I don't get the Farrelly Brothers’ humour, but it was fine.)

I mean, yeah, the sequel was ass on a cracker, but come on, the first one was brilliant. Hard to watch nowadays due to the transphobia, but it was a simpler, more ignorant time. It's like saying you can't enjoy To Kill A Mockingbird because Bob Ewell's a racist.

Where am I going with this? I don't even know anymore.

Vox Day and followers #conspiracy #wingnut #racist #homophobia #transphobia

Or or or, stay with me, douchebags - Trump legitimately lost because he was such a dumpster fire of a failure that even staunch Republicans could see the writing on the wall, there was no election fraud in Biden's direction, and Pence found that shred of humanity he could have sworn he had beaten to death with a Bible around the time he started to notice girls and did exactly what he could: NOTHING.

Rudy Giuliani #conspiracy #wingnut

Is Rainman Rudy talking about Dauberville, or is there an actual Senator Tuberville? (Sounds like a Facebook game about farming potatoes.)

And now I'm thinking, Moscow's Bitch turned on Der Drumpfenfuhrer, Ponce turned on Der Drumpfenfuhrer, what in Odin's bristly beard will it take to make this gravy-leaking, cousin-dicking ambulance chaser slip on the They Live sunglasses and see Der Drumpfenfuhrer for the unconscienable asshole that he is?

Cloudy NS #fundie #wingnut #conspiracy #psycho #crackpot #psycho

@Speakeasy #72080

He did the Sonic the Hedgehog movie, and I think his Showtime series is on season three right now; it's not bad, though I only saw a few episodes of the first season.

As for what he did, he paints pictures of Der Drumpfenfuhrer in an unflattering light, tweaks the nose of the Right-Wing elite, comes from filthy Commie Canuckistan, holds Commie Left-Wing views like non-whites are people, votes matter, and if you poison the water supply you drink from, sooner or later you will get some of that poison inside you, and admitted to not being the psychologically invincible ubermenschen that trail Der Drumpfenfurher like goldfish poop, in that he said he had a mental breakdown years ago following a too-deep-dive into character's psyche for a movie.

You know, all capital offenses in Drumpfenfuhrerland.

Jerry Derecha/Adrenogate #conspiracy #crackpot #magick #wingnut

@Mathius_dragoon #72042

Clearly you lack the pineal gland needed to discern the true - and deceased - Reptillian warlock known to this plane of flesh as Tom Hanks, from an Illuminati-produced clone-slave grown from the meat-pits of Holy Gitmo.

Saying that brain-dribble out loud makes me realize how awesome the Q-Tards would be at worldbuilding a D&D campaign, if I weren't convinced they'd get confused half-way through and start thinking it was real. Ironically like Hanks did in Mazes and Monsters.

Tim Tony Stark Rifat #crackpot #magick #mammon #psycho

And now we've got Werewolf banking. Either somebody gave Timmy a stack of White Wolf manuals whilst he was peyoted off his bean and he confused them for reality, or he's pulled an Icke and is trying to use "werewolf” as a new euphemism for “Jews.”

Yukon Jack #crackpot #racist #fundie #conspiracy

One can indeed be an atheist and see the story of Jesus for the blatant fiction that it is without being an antiSemitic asshole, Yukon Cornelius.

Andrew Anglin #psycho

Soldiers are trained to fight soldiers you colossal asshole, not civilians. Blackwater is a mercenary company that kills noncombatants in non-lethal situations; that's not war, that's fucking murder. Trump lets murderers off the hook for political clout. Here's hoping he has an orange jumper in his immediate future, and here's to President Motherfucking Biden letting him rot in a hole.

@Bastethotep
See, normally someone with a backstory like that would get some sympathy from me. But given who this fuckwit asshole of a Mad Max villain turned out to be, I can honestly say he gets nothing from me except more rancor. A bad childhood is no excuse for being a complete monster.

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #fundie #wingnut

Because convicted criminals - especially those convicted of fraud - are famous for their reliability.

Do yourself a favour, Rooty; go stand in front of a mirror and practice saying the words “President Biden.” Because come January, that's going to be your reality, and it's best to get used to it now so it'll hurt your butt less in the future.

Dr. TAMARILLO #fundie #racist #wingnut

Andrew Anglin #racist

"Barack HYUUUUSAAAAANE Obama is not and never was an anti-white racist” - Shrewy Anglin.

Shit, I'd call that a ‘stopped clock moment,’ except I'm near-certain that it's the only time Shrewy's ever been right about anything, or ever told the truth about anything. I mean, the man only ever knew the white half of his family, hating on white people doesn't make any fucking sense.

Not that one should expect coherency or reality from this knucklefucker's brain-vomits.

Presents of God Ministry #conspiracy #fundie #crackpot #wingnut

Are the guillotines coin-operated? If not, I'm not seeing the profit margin on using bulky, inefficient and out-of-date tech.
Then again, I'm relatively sane and don't believe that a Bronze-Aged horror novel is the literal historical account of the world.

Nathan Larson #psycho

@Bastethotep #69962

Jesus, fuck this guy. Now I remember him. I almost hope they put him up in the Epstein Suite.

The name seems familiar and I can't be arsed to pollute my search history looking him up; is this the Trumper who tried to argue for incest and pedophilia?

obamagavemeaphone #racist #wingnut

@SpukiKitty #69815

Well of course. GOP debating tip #3,980 states: “When no coherent argument against a point can be made or rationally reached, ad hominem the shit out of the other side; bonus points if other side is a chick, a heathen, a homo, or a non-white.”

Enrique Tarrio, Chairman of the Proud Boys #wingnut

I will never understand how "maybe don't kill black people out of some autonomic kneejerk reaction to every little thing” somehow equates to “down with whitey eat the rich put the means of production into the hands of the proletariat.” Mary Lou Retton would have a hell of a time running these mental gymnastics.

Ben Garrison #conspiracy #wingnut

And yet the political and economic system Ben espouses is the only one that permits the existence of billionaires in the first place. And if one were to ask Ben what his solution to the "billionaire plague” he's decided is to blame for all his woes would be, you can bet he'd fight tooth and nail were someone to suggest redistributing their wealth.

Rose Hannah/Adrenogate #conspiracy #wingnut #crackpot #transphobia

Obama tried to frame Flynn? Well Flynn must have been in on the frame-job, because that dense motherfucker fucking confessed to his malfeasance.

Also, I want video of the Trumpanzees’ collective reaction come January 20th. It'll fill that deep-down hunger for a new Scanners flick I've been nursing lately, head-'splosions all around.

Ben Gibson (R-QAnon) #conspiracy #wingnut

<@Why?> #68745

Exactly, how could he have ever looked for it if he didn't know what to look for?

Tornado Thien aka Tila Tequila #fundie

@Citizen_Justin #67374

I think she's actually, legitimately bipolar (or Robot Chicken called it and she's actually an android, either way.)
but yeah, she's flirted with Nazism and Antisemitism like they bought her a drink and a shiny thing. I don't know if it was legit or just a manifestation of some curdled brain chemistry, or if she's still riding that nonsense, but it's sad that she would hitch herself to people who think she should be hung for existing; twice, since she's non-heteronormative.

Bennett Lee Ross #conspiracy #quack #crackpot

There is no water that flows fast enough
And no wind that blows hard enough
To cut through hard stone

Ain't no mountain high enough,
Ain't no valley low enough,
Ain't no river wide enough,
To make your paranoid ramblings make a lick of fucking sense, you goddamned unaware bellend!

And your limericks are still shit.

Mike Stone #wingnut #elitist #conspiracy #racist

Man, times like this I wish I had the money to invest in Kleenex and Ben & Jerry's; there's about to be a metric shitton of GOPers ugly-crying and binging on ice cream come Jan. 20th.

And once the tears dry up, we'll all have to invest in earplugs, because "Trump WON!!!” is going to be their refrain for the next eighty years. My grandchildren will have to deal with Biden-denialists the way we deal with Holocaust deniers.

Marjorie Taylor Greene (R), Representative-elect of the 14th District of Georgia #racist

<@Why?> #65897

When the alternative is the Nerf-furred ground sloth that sired her? I think we can toss her some condemnation, yeah.

Nobody tell Madge what her Orange Messiah's drippy lawyer did with his cousin. Or what President Quasimodo wants to do with his own daughter.

(I mean, are we completely, %100 certain that her kids are Jared's?)

Bennett Lee Ross #crackpot #conspiracy

PoinTTalkers #crackpot #wingnut #racist #conspiracy

@Malingspann #65053

Well uh-doi, don't you know science? The Nefarious T.H.E.M took a skin scraping from Sleepy Joe before they cornfielded him, ran the scraping through their handy-dandy Clone-O-Matic (a fine Hasbro product, batteries not included) and ten minutes later, out popped a fully grown, fully dressed (because Sleepy Joe was wearing a suit when they took the biological sample, naturally) man, with all of Biden's memories and personality quirks and knowledge, but primed to be programmed by his Red Chinese masters.

Conservapedia #wingnut

@The_Crimson_Ghost #64710

I've also heard that he has issues with controlling his bodily functions, such that on an episode of "Give Me The Attention My Daddy Never Did!” (Known in some markets as, "The Apprentice”), cameras had to stop rolling while Ivanka had his helper change him. He was in such a Benzo-and-Adderall fog, he forgot to use the bathroom.

But it's Joe that's the senile old man, right?

Jon Voight #fundie #conspiracy #wingnut

I see now why Angelina doesn't talk to him anymore. He's a fucking jackass.

Conservapedia #wingnut

@Mathius_dragoon #64651

It's woman not making a graceful, subservient expression to an elder male relative, which according to Conservapedia, makes her a gajillion times more evil than absolutely anyone in the history of ever.

Andrew Anglin #wingnut #conspiracy

What do you care, Shrewy? You hated Trump because he allowed der Juden into his family and didn't put his grandkids into a boxcar, it's not like you'd be on this imaginary list. And as we all know, if it doesn't involve you, you're not actually worried about it.

Steve Bannon and Jack Maxey #wingnut #psycho

Steve Bannon woke up one morning asking himself as he un-shaved a hobo beard back onto his face to rival that of Nick Nolte, "Steve-O, what is the singular worst thing you could say today?”

Then his reflection pointed out that he had already screamed every racial invective in his sleep, so he'd have to be creative.

I'm with Keith Olbermann, Bannon needs his bail revoked and to be stuffed in a smaller cell, along with Gorka and Don-Don.

Well, maybe not Don-Don, I don't think he's smart enough to have been serious about his calls to violence, but Gorka for fucking sure.