In addition to administering free vasectomies and abortions as part of the convention's festivities, Democrats confirmed that each night of the convention would begin with a ceremonial child sacrifice ritual. "It's important to maintain the deeply spiritual aspect," Harrison said. "Abortion forms the bedrock of what we are as a political party, so it only makes sense to showcase our celebration of killing babies in any way we can."
Officials said the red Chicago river would not only show the party's enthusiasm for baby murder but also serve as a visual preview of the tidal wave of communism the party would seek to usher in if Kamala Harris is elected. "We're all about the red," Harrison said. "The blood of innocent children… unbridled communism… bring on the red!"
At publishing time, city officials said they were unconcerned about the dyeing of the river since city streets have been running red with blood for years.
16 comments
Aren’t vasectomies actually the OPPOSITE of child sacrifice? Nothing about a single, ensouled, fertilized cell being denied implantation, there’s no fertilization. So no kids to sacrifice at the altar of ‘women are people, too.’
I believe I said this in response to quotes from the Babbling-on Bee years ago…I almost wonder if they’re really ran by liberals who are trying to point out the stupidity of “conservative humor.” I don’t REALLY believe that, but if so, mission accomplished.
Red baby officials said the cold Chicago river would not only show the party's enthusiasm for murder but also serve as a tidal preview of the visual wave of communal motorism Republican states blue states!"
At publishing time, city officials said they were unconcerned about the red river dying since city streets have been running with the food of real boys.
Is overt satire really appropriate for submissions? I mean, I know underneath the incomprehensible attempt at humour it lets us glimpse at what these people really think other people want and it’s honestly unclear how much they even think they’re distorting the truth but it’s still satire at the end.
Are we to read this as conservative humour is stupid and the bee is mocking right wingers, or, like the Archie Bunker shit that was all the rage for how shit it was for a week, accidentally showing how fucking stupid they are
Considering how the Bee's "jokes" are not jokes (more a veneer for bigotry) and that its audience is apparently deranged, not too surprising to see on it the promotion of hate speech and QAnon extremism, dehumanization, blood libel, etc.
@Passerby #204497
Usually I would agree, but the BB’s “satire” is so flimsily hidden hate and bigotry that I almost wouldn’t count it as such. Aside from that very last punchline (not a great joke, but at least you could construe it as dark humor somewhat) there is no real humor in it. It is played WAY too straight for that to be the case. Satire about this topic would make it clear how preposterous this scenario would be and that it has nothing to do with how Democrats are in reality. It would be a parody of Republican views basically. But it is not. Nothing indicates that this is even seen as that much of an exaggeration.
Besides the strong echo chamber character of the movement, whose creatives consist pretty much entirely of affinity-frauding hacks and failures, and the base nature of its constituents, Conservative™ satire also suffers from the problem that wingnuts already have unironically demonised those they disagree with so much , unironically hold all opposing views as so absurd , that there simply is not much room left for comical exaggeration…
@Bastethotep #204537
a cultish niche audience that will throw itself at anything that reinforces its untenable views with desperate enthusiasm.
Nice turn of phrase that captures the despair of conservative fanatics. Why will nobody admit that they're right? Why won't reality bend to their will? /s
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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