me so horny that I had to masturbate
A claim-annihilating Haiku entitled 'Mendacity-based Trouserial Immolation: And Before Burns Night...?!':
Via chronic wanking
Mary Jane Dick Doesn't Work
Can't Love Him Long Time
Don't worry: As it's a pathological liar, the only 'Daughter' that exists is in it's diseased imagination.
Fortunately as it's caused permanent erectile dysfunction & now has no penile sensation due to years of chronic wanking: thus it's 'No-Fapping' is self-imposed, what it's saying is purely part of it's need to be 'Edgelordier-Than-Thou' in the wretched hive of scum and villainy it currently inhabits; thinking that nobody there will know of the reputation that proceeds it. Clearly all that crystal meth it's taken has had an effect on it's memory to the extent that, if it can't remember certain details of said terminal reputation, nobody else there will. Only, there's one problem:
Unlike Mary Jane Pants On Fire: we on FSTDT don't forget.
Perhaps the registration requirement on this new FSTDT isn't the only reason it hasn't slimed itself here of late...?!