(modified from this old post from when I was still going by Mimic Octopus)
Know Your Enemy: The 5 Types of Reactionary Men:
1. The Basement Ghouls
Basement Ghouls are lazy ugly creeps who finally realise that their attempts to get into the pants of any female "friend" are never going to work, but blame the females instead of themselves. They want to go back in time where they could have bought a girl from her father and married her as a sex slave (even though they refuse to work).
2. The Fundamentalist
Those evil new-fangled new ways of thinking are a tool of Satan/Iblis/the Jews/the Flying Spaghetti Monster to seduce the flock away from the True Religion of Christianity/Islam/Wodenism/my personality cult! We must restore the Good Old Order of the Good Old Days and purge and ex-ter-mi-nate the vile modernist corruption!
3. The Pseudo-Intellecshual
These individuals have never archieved anything in their existence - except becoming the perfect embodiments of the Dunning-Kruger Effect through their delusions of grandeur and eloquence. Since they believe that true genius reveals itself in offensiveness, they smugly spew bile contrary not only to popular opinion, but also to scientific consensus and demonstrable fact, so vile it could turn a Dalek into a Social Justice Warrior. They are also masters of (deluding themselves into thinking they are masters of) linguistics, as seen in their Latin orthografy.
4. The Patrician
Born to wealth and privilege, these modern-day aristocrats want to return to the times before those uppity unions put limits on exploitation, and before those uppity slaves were freed, and before those uppity lower classes could vote, and before those uppity craftsmen demanded political rights, and before...
5. The Cyberpunk Patrician
The Patrician IN SPACE! They got rich with technology, and want to keep that stuff all to themselves.