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This is a long discussion after the OP. Follow the link to see fundie vs not-so-fundie.

Claim: It is not haram to have homosexual thoughts

This claim is an apologetic one; and it seeks to come to a compromise with homosexuals and their lewdness along with the West and how they promote it and seek to have it accepted and part of the culture.

However, there is no compromise on a subject that the Quran and the Sunnah have already made clear. Thus, the claim that it is not haram to have homosexual thoughts and that one is not considered a sinner until he acts upon it is false. This is the same as saying it is not haram to be gay until you act on it.

It is clear that homosexuality is nothing but a perversion and a disease. There are numerous verses in the Quran about it and how it is referred to as “Al-Fahishah” (Lewdness, an abomination, a vile deed).

“And know that Allah knows what is in your minds, so fear Him”

[al-Baqarah 2:235]

“but He will call you to account for that which your hearts have earned”

[al-Baqarah 2:225].

It is also clear that homosexuality begins as nothing but waswas from the Shaytan. We know that Shaytan and his troops are behind every evil on earth; they entice mankind to commit evil and they beautify shamelessness to them, and that is especially in regards to acts of lewdness in society; so why do we separate Shaytan and his effect on people turning gay? Why do we ignore it and indirectly agree with the kuffar’s claim that homosexuality is a natural cause by saying thinking about it is not haram but only acting upon it is?

With the fact established that homosexuality starts as nothing but waswas from the Shaytan (convincing a person that he likes men or women), it is wajib on a person to repel waswas from his mind and evil thoughts as much as he can. If a person watches pornography, lives in a society where they see homosexuality as normal, doesn’t lower his gaze from looking at the ‘awrah of men and women; then he gets waswas from the devil saying that he likes men; and instead of repelling these evil thoughts, he dwells on them and accepts them; and eventually, he convinces himself that he doesn't like women but he likes men, then the source of the problem is very clear. The means to homosexuality and zina must be cut off, and that includes dwelling upon thoughts regarding them.

As for waswas a person cannot help or just passing thoughts that he does not dwell upon, yes, a person will not be held accountable and there is evidence for that. However, if this happens to someone, he is not considered gay. So a person cannot use this as evidence to say it is not haram to be gay until you act on it. He is only considered gay when he dwells on those thoughts and he accepts that he is not attracted to women, which leads him to act upon it.

Some responses
We are judged by our actions and not our thoughts (as long as we don’t dwell on them). If someone is gay but doesn’t act on it, then how can you say it’s haram? You can’t, because their feelings are not a sin and they didn’t act on it. . . . .

So it’s not an apologetic attitude to have and Muslims really need to do better when faced with these issues, because condemning gay people when they haven't even done anything is stupid and will hurt you and them in the long run.

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I say it is haram because he got waswas from the Shaytan and he didn’t repel them. Instead, he dwelt on those thoughts and accepted that he does not like women. For him to accept he does not like women, it is the same as accepting that Allah made him that way. This is the same as saying Allah made him inclined to al-Fahishah. If it is not natural, then it is from the Shaytan. So he must repel the waswas.

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I want to say this is a separate post because it obliterates your claim completely:

You claim that being gay is okay until you act on it. That is the same as saying being an atheist inwardly is okay. Both atheism and homosexuality go against the natural disposition, both of them are from the Shaytan, and both of them are irrational and an abomination.

How many people including Muslims get waswas about the Essence of Allah? Shaytan whispers to someone that Allah does not exist -- prove that He exists. If he does not repel these thoughts and he dwells on them, and he lives in a society that accepts it and he is lax with his prayers and connection to Allah, he will eventually become an atheist (as we see many Muslims do today). The same goes for homosexuality.

The only difference is the society you live in has made you desensitized to homosexuality.

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From what I have read and asked questions of a scholar, it is not a sin to have a thought and to accept it is wrong and to resist and repel that thought and any subsequent thoughts.

Nevertheless, we must be aware that not all homosexuals are lewd and promoting their condition. Some are struggling to live with a very difficult situation as best they can in submission and obedience to Allah (swt) so we need to be mindful of this group in the way we speak about this topic.

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But sister, we cannot call such people homosexuals, these people are simply people who struggle with waswasa and lowering their gaze. Being a homosexual and identifying as such means one has accepted homosexuality. And what’s funny is science is trying really hard to prove homosexuality is genetic (giving it a reason for even existing) but so far, nothing great has come up.
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Here’s my thought process, homosexuality and heterosexuality is mainly about sex and attraction. If a straight guy is having urges towards every female around, then he should control himself and say “Allah comes first.” If a gay guy is having urges towards some guys around, then he should control himself and say “Allah comes first.”

If brothers and sisters have issues when it comes to zina, then someone who has attraction to the same gender will feel the same way so it’s best to remind them to control their nafs and remember Allah

That is all.

If you feel like this is not the right approach and instead it’s better to condemn the person and tell them that everything about them is a sin, then feel free to do it. But my approach is better, because we’re all in this together and we all want to go to Jannah.
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sis this quote along with the link that describes how someone may be more genetically inclined to being gay means that I do not mean all kids and people who are/were molested will turn out gay, it simply explains why gay people who think they were born like this turned out this way. “I remember when I was 8 I had a crush on a boy” yet the man who says this was molested at age 5, so of course this will mean he will like boys by age 8 if he were gay, but because he doesn't link the incidence with his orientation, he thinks he is “born” like this. AstaghfiruAllah.

Sister you are failing to realize no one is born gay. Did Allah ta’ala create people born with genetic diseases (God forbid this on all of us and future kids) and condemn them? Did Allah ta’ala create people who have mental and physical disabilities and condemn them? Sub’ana Allah. So why would Allah ta’ala create gay people only to condemn their existence? Okay, let’s hypothetically say there is decent proof of a link between genetics and the inclination towards the same sex, but can’t they control who they marry? Can’t they control such urges? I’ll tell you this right now, there is not a single gay man who cannot be intimate with a woman, everything can biologically proceed but it his “preference” that he does not be with a woman.
A person who God forbid, has schizophrenia (genetic mental illness) cannot, for the life of them, control their disease.

And of course, I am nice to everyone. They are just sinners after all. Will they be close friends? Of course not, just like any other person who chooses to openly sin. I do not want to be associated with such people and possibly be influenced. Will I be mean to them and be proud? Of course not. I say Allah yihdeeyon and keep moving.

Much more of this at the link

Just to note, I'm not judging anyone by making this post or trying to act overly religious. Applies to me as well. This is reminder like every other one that I felt required a whole post on it's own due to the prevalence of it. If you are a person who involves themselves in any of these forms of entertainment, please don't be rude about what I have to say.

A large portion of Muslims today still engage in entertaining themselves with haram entertainment and I wanted to have a look at each form explaining why we should stay away from it.

1) Movies

Probably the most viewed form of entertainment out of all them. The whole purpose of movies is to make you forget about your life and just enjoy fiction for a while. The problem here is that people start to lose focus of why they are here by involving themselves with movies to much. We are here to win our Akhira and enjoy as much as possible there. If we spend most of time wasting it on fantasies which are pointless and just pass time, then we will regret it heavily later when we see how much lower our rank in Jannah is by losing out on all those good deeds we could have done.

It is the nature of entertainment media to choose attractive men and women, which immediately negates the modesty required of a Muslim. We should always be lowering our gazes whenever we see someone of great attractiveness since they could induce evil thoughts. It would be pointless to spend half the movie lowering the gaze every now and then.

Then there's obviously the filthy behavior that is being displayed in the movies. Free mixing and zina and partying and zina and foul language and zina and free mixing and all the filthy things you can think of. Young people will start to feel like they are missing out on all the fun of interacting with the opposite gender by watching these movies thinking "What's the worst that could happen?"

Animated movies and "movies for kids" are something terrible as well. Don't be fooled by the "child friendly" approach they try to show you. Small little drops of fitna are poured here and there all over the movie. Let's take "Frozen" for example. A kids movie which grossed over a billion dollars which released last year. Story about a girl who was going to get married to a guy. Has family issues with psycho sister. Guy was evil. Goes for another guy. Happy ending. Seems pretty nice. But it's not.
Subliminally in the story, while this girl was going to marry one man, she travels alone with another man for the sister issues part of the movie, and starts to fall in love with him. But oh dear, they can't be together since she's supposed to marry another man, so obviously the script decides to make him evil, giving her the green light to jump on to the other guy. And the audience is supposed to think this whole thing was ok.

This sort of freemixing showcased in movies shows exactly why we shouldn't be watching them. This was a kids movie that too. Had it been an 18+ movie or real life, we know what major sin they most likely would have done while they were simply travelling together. Then another kids movie made a character homosexual for no reason. Kids growing up to that will think "Gay people are funny and nice ".

2) TV shows

Majority of the reasons have already been stated but TV shows have their own special problem.

More length = More time wasted over years and years.

Then there's the fact that the most popular shows like How I met your mother and FRIENDS revolve around friends committing zina without anything that moves that gives consent all in the name of "Searching for true love". Yes, you want to know you love someone, so you go around committing zina. What's worse is that in their freemixing between themselves as friends, these characters fall in love with each other and commit zina.

And then shows like Game of Thrones showcasing more nudity that the adult industry would be proud of with a side serving of sexual perversions like incest, orgies and other sick things.

Breaking bad? Adulterous wife.

The Walking dead? Adulterous wife.

House of Cards? Adulterous everything.

Entourage? Let's not even talk about it.

And the list goes on and on when it comes to filthy things being displayed on these shows.

It's as if they make the script saying "Hey Louie! This not enough zina in this season. Make this woman an adulteress. We need dem ratings!!" "Sure thing, Franky!"

3) Music

I don't understand why women themselves support the music industry when so many songs and music videos treat women like objects. Last year there was a music video which had completely naked women with fully suited men. In an interview, the woman said that "sometimes a girl just needs to have a little fun with her body". And later that year, Lady Gaga decided to perform a song completely naked. And all sorts of indecent things happen when music is involved. Look at bars and clubs, a place where music is played when men and women just rub themselves against each other which they couldn't do without music ("Bikini is ok on the beach but not in buildings" effect) they have a one night stand and never meet again. This goes completely against the dignity of a human being.

Furthermore, music plays in our head throughout the day if we listen to it. We lose concentration now and then because a song was playing in our head. This could happen when we are in Salah and ruin our kushoo.

Then there's the fact that people lose their minds over the artists. One Direction, Bieber and the rest. Causing people to lose their mind and act so irrationally. Willing to cut themselves for their sake. The worst part being that these celebrities don't even care about them back.

Then there's the fact that majority of songs encourage zina and acts that lead to it. And then there's the fact that so many filthy words are included in these songs.

4) Video Games

While this one hurts the most for me to say, Video games are probably the worst out of all these things. Rasulullah mentioned that people who make images are amongst the worst creations of Allah . Would you pay money for a person who murders? For a rapist? For a thief? Paying money for video games is support for the haram that these people are doing.

Furthermore, video games contains all the problems of all other forms of entertainment.

Music, violence, nudity, foul language, excessive time waste, forgetting Dunya and everything else.

Studies have also shown that playing video games can increase agitation in people. It also makes people more lazy, wanting to sit in one place for hours just watching a screen. Getting annoyed when they are called away for something else.

What many of us don't know is that these things can directly change our imaan. Everything we expose ourselves to can influence we act and think. But we refuse to believe that simply because it is entertainment. Think of all the bad thoughts and ideas that have been put in our minds because of exposing ourselves to these things. It could have been one TV show episode that brought us this much closer to the idea of being ok with zina. The most dangerous thought you can have is "It's not going to happen to me. I can control myself"

We should all keep in mind that whatever we give up for Allah He will give you something better. We could be throwing away so much happiness which lasts forever for extremely temporary happiness. Think about it....aren't we all still going to be sad and depressed about some problem or another even after watching movies, tv shows, listening to music and playing games? Then what was the point of them besides wasting time? In the long run we just lose time and money. Most importantly we lose the immense rewards that we can get for leaving these acts which we will ALWAYS be happy about.

we should try our best to leave these acts for the happiness of Allah and become the best Muslims we can possibly be