@JustAlongForTheRide #214905
Thanks for sharing that!
I’m glad you got past that sort of awful upbringing.
and about living up to a social expectation of self-care, which for women, includes makeup.
So, do you do that part only because it’s expected / demanded of you? Or also because you want to for yourself, irrespective of any social expectations?
And don’t worry, you mentioning what you did wasn’t a digression :)
——
Back to the OP…
There’s one more thing. This:
( TheChaliceIsMightier )
I think what that gay man and all AGPs and incels have in common is deep envy of how sexually desirable women are to men […] Men really do go through extremely maladaptive strategies to cope with their womb envy.
Here I’d say you really speak of an envy for two different things, even though you seem to equate them. I’ll speak of them separately.
And, as part of this “all AGPs” group you mention, I’ll speak from personal experience, since you allege that I am like what you claim so-called ‘AGPs’ are.
First, the supposed envy of sexual desirability.
For one, the claim that women are in general sexually desirable to men simply isn’t true. Only some women are, to any given man.
But one might ask, why then do even supposedly unattractive women get sexually harassed?
And it’s simple: Because it’s not about sexuality, or certainly not only about it.
Same as with the worst of that sort of abuse, rape: It’s about power. Control. Superiority. Sadism.
Hell, that’s basically Feminism 101. Something known to women the world over.
But you gender-critters forgo that, instead seeing biological essentialism in everything. You reduce a deeply social and cultural problem into a matter of biological inevitability.
Now, a question: Why on earth would I not only desire, but outright envy being a walking target for sexual harassment and abuse?
And the answer, again, is simple: I don’t.
Not only do I not envy cis women for that, I dread having to face that. And I wish I could make it go away for all women.
Being sexually harassed or assaulted by men doesn’t stem solely from being sexually desirable, but it is made worse if a woman is indeed sexually desirable. It’s like a multiplier for the abuse level.
I don’t envy women who have to go through that; I sympathize with them.
But that’s not really what people who wish to be sexually desirable actually want. They don’t want to be abused and harassed, or even worse. Yes, including us so-called “AGPs”. And including cis women, of course.
What they want is other things.
Like having sex with someone they find attractive, which they find appealing.
Or just being wanted by someone they care for and love. *raises hand*
Some people love being the center of attention and being fawned over; others just yearn to find someone nice who will be into them, both for their personality and their physicality. (I am the latter, by the way)
But oftentimes, taking care of one’s physical appearance is due to something less overt. Sometimes people, very much including cis women, just want to look nice. Not to appeal to others, but just because they feel good when they look good to themselves. Not in any weird way, just… looking nice rather than dumpy.
That said, you also mentioned another kind of envy. “Womb envy”.
Lady, I don’t want to steal your womb.
Also, I don’t envy your menstrual pain, your cramps, your PMS, your endometriosis, your polycystic ovaries, your difficult pregnancies and post-partum periods, or the immense pain of giving birth.
I sympathize with those who have to go through it all.
I will never truly understand what it’s like. So, I can’t fully empathize, simply because I can’t experience those things.
But I try to listen, and to understand. As much as it’s possible for someone like me.
However… even as aware as I am of how difficult and awful it can be, even as aware as I am that in many ways I’m lucky not to have to deal with all of those things…
I so wish I had female organs. But it isn’t envy. At all.
It’s a deep yearning.
It is a yearning to have a child growing in me. To bring a wonderful baby into the world. To nourish that baby from my body.
And no, there’s no perversion anywhere in there, though I’m sure that’s the first thing that your sick minds jumped to.
I so wish that I could be a mom. Not just socially, but biologically as well.
At times, I wish it so much it hurts… and I know it’s a wish that can never come true.
And I say that while keeping in mind the tremendous costs associated with that. In physical difficulty, pain, health, and sometimes treatment from society.
You may think me naive, but I think the cost is worth it.
You may think I’d sing a different tune if I had but a whiff of what so many cis women, trans men and AFAB enbies have to go through. That I would change my mind as soon as I had to face the pain.
Yet I’m certain that I wouldn’t. Because some things are so much a part of me, a yearning so deep that they cannot be dislodged.
I don’t envy you, or your womb.
I just wish I could have a baby, in my own womb. Alone if I have to, but preferably with someone I love.
That’s all.