kuyohashi

@kuyohashi

Donald J. Trump #conspiracy #wingnut

THROUGH INHERITING HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS FROM MY EMOTIONALLY DISTANT, SHITBAG KLANSMAN OF A FATHER, WHICH I THEN PROCEEDED TO SQUANDER DUE TO MY OWN FINANCIAL INEPTITUDE, AND ALSO THROUGH GRIFT, LOANS, BEGGING, AND WHORING MY NAME AND LIKENESS OUT LIKE I WAS FUCKING ALF OR SOMETHING, I MEAN, THERE WAS A FUCKING TRUMP BOARD GAME AND A TRUMP VIDEO GAME FOR FUCK'S SAKE, AND BY LYING ABOUT HOW MUCH MONEY I HAD, AND BY WEDGING MYSELF INTO CAMEOS ON HOME ALONE AND FRESH PRINCE, I FAKED BEING RICH TO SUCH A DEGREE THAT METH-ADDLED SOCCER MOMS FROM THE WHITEST SUBURBS TO EVER EXIST STILL THINK I'M A FUCKING BILLIONAIRE…HANG ON, I FORGOT MY POINT HERE…I WAS GOING TO BRAG ABOUT HOW MUCH OF A CHAD I AM, THEN A KITTY-CAT CROSSED MY PATH AND NOW ERIC WANTS A JUICE BOX AND I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY ANYMORE. ANYWAYS, GIVE ME MONEY, OTHERWISE I'LL HAVE TO USE MY OWN TO PAY FOR ALL THE LEGAL SHIT MY VARIOUS CRIMES HAVE FINALLY EARNED ME, AND I DIDN'T BECOME A BILLIONAIRE BY GIVING MY MONEY AWAY. OR BY WORKING HARD. OR INVESTING SMARTLY. OR AT ALL.
ALSO, BARRON, SWEETIE, DADDY'S PHONE IS STILL DOING THE BIG LETTERS THING, I THINK IT'S MAKING ME LOOK CRAZY. COULD YOU COME AND FIX IT FOR ME AGAIN?

Fixed that for ya, Donald, ya fat-fingered duck-fucker.

Glypticfille #conspiracy #crackpot #dunning-kruger #sexist

You can fucking see the clitoris. You can touch it. If someone gave this idiot a map, a compass, a commission from Queen Isabella of Spain, three ships, a pack of hunting dogs and Sacagawea to guide them East, they still wouldn't find it, but for everyone else, it's that pink little nubbin just a few millimeters above the labial cleft.

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #fundie #magick #wingnut

Again, if everything thinks your lemonade stand is awful and kills people, it's not because they hate you and are evil and Big Lemonade controls everything, it might actually be because you're selling Lemon Pledge with a few sugar cubes dissolved in.

Again, Wayne, maybe you're the asshole. Or in this case, Donald.

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #wingnut

Will somebody buy this idiot a fucking calendar already? He doesn't seem aware that both the 2020 election and the Super Bowl were ages ago and nobody except him gives a shit anymore.

Father Absolute via Marta #magick #wingnut #ufo #conspiracy

Your Imaginary Overlords counted on a voluntary program of vaccination to conquer the world they already conquered. I'm sorry, why are you afraid of the Stupid Riddlers Cabal, again?

Truth Army #conspiracy #crackpot #quack

JK Rowling #dunning-kruger #enbyphobia #pratt #transphobia

“What proof do you have that the Nazis, a group well documented in their hatred for any other group even the tiniest bit different from them, hated this one group who was considerably different from them?”

S.A. McCarthy #wingnut #fundie #transphobia #conspiracy

“And once we get all these seemingly innocuous things we like done, we'll totally stop right there and not impose our religion upon the country any further, pinky promise and scout's honour!”

Ben Garrison #wingnut

Actual clowns know that they're clowns. Donald Trump is a bully who thinks he's a tough guy, and in his failed attempts at being a tough guy, becomes a clown. He doesn't set out to be a clown, he simply turns into one by dint of his utter buffoonery. You can't take the man seriously because he's such a buffoon, but taking him lightly would be a mistake because he's also a dangerous narcissist who would gladly stand by and watch millions die for his own ego.

Stew Peters #wingnut #homophobia #transphobia #racist #conspiracy

danegraphics #ableist

I do, in fact, have a disability that makes it remarkably difficult for me to do math. Not impossible, I did manage to get my one required math credit in high school, even if it took me two attempts, and I always found algebra to be math-on-easy-mode, like, algebra honestly made me feel like a fucking genius savant, but tax season is a non-starter for me, and I spent years in food services avoiding the cash register because I was damned certain I was calculating the taxes wrong (I imagine we have much smarter registers now. Or we just had antique registers, either way, they fucked with my math anxiety hard.)

I am honestly bad at math. Nobody told me that I was. I wasn't even tested for dyscalculia as a child (I don't know if they did that in the '80's. I had never heard of it until my twenties, and when I learned about it, so many things started to make sense about me.) Nobody discouraged me from learning - in fact, my teachers all tried their fucking hardest, even the ice-veined harridan who did nothing but scowl at me for two years because I found myself utterly incapable of giving a shit about Canadian history, and she found herself equally incapable of making me give a shit.

Westboro Baptist Church #fundie #transphobia #enbyphobia

“Remember us? You thought we had been relegated to the catbox of history, but here we are again, the great unflushable turd of humanity! We survived being booted out of Canada, having our founder cack it like a Kennedy and being forgotten for what must have been twenty glorious, peaceful years of utter bliss and nirvana for the rest of the human race, and now, much like a boyband from the '80's, we've decided to enact our vengeance upon the world by reminding you that we used to exist and spitefully continue to do so even if you never think about us! Have we learned any lessons in our absence? Have we grown as people, perhaps developed human emotions and empathy? Fuck no! We're the same ign’ant horsefuckers we always were! Why change what is so terribly, terribly broken?”

Parents With Inconvenient Truths about Trans #transphobia

Your child hasn't been bodysnatched or replaced with a fetch from the Feylands, they've just pulled the cauls off of their existence and unmasked their true self. You never had a son, you had a daughter that presented as a son, that's something you're going to have to come to terms with.

Wayne Allyn Root #dunning-kruger #wingnut #mammon

Bro. Eric Kalinowski #wingnut #fundie #homophobia #transphobia

“RAARRRRGHL! We refuse to vote until somebody as flaming bat-scat whacky as me is on the ballot to bring us one minute closer to theological Zero Hour!!!!”

Cool. You do you, buddy, I'm sure everyone else will pick up the slack to make sure this world continues to be one that irritates the hell out of you.

Spiritual🕉️Gangster #quack #dunning-kruger

Having lost several family members to cancer, allow me to be the one to suggest this fucker go fuck themselves with a fucking jackhammer.

Robert Larson #homophobia #psycho #fundie

“Our god demands we murder people without any clarification as to why! Why do the people we have been ordered to kill by our imaginary skywizard hate said skywizard? It must be because they're evil! Certainly we can't be the baddies! We, who want to not only murder our imaginary enemies, but do so in a particular way specifically because said way is more painful and cruel!”

Ben Garrison #wingnut

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #wingnut

Or his crimes, Wayne. Maybe, just maybe, he's being prosecuted for the crimes he did. Just because he did things, and you like him, doesn't mean the things he did weren't crimes.

Ken Ham #biphobia #conspiracy #forced-birth #fundie #homophobia #transphobia #wingnut

“Waffles are a religion!”
“Purple is a religion!”
“Catfood is a religion!”
“Everything is a religion!”
“I don't know what the word ‘religion’ means!”
“My own ignorance is a religion! And I am the Pope, the Archbishop and all Twelve Disciples of the Holy Unified Church of Utter Dumbassery, Second Reformation!”

MassResistance #homophobia #fundie

“We don't want gays pushing their lifestyle! Why can't they just live their lives quietly and without imposing it onto others?”

“They'd love to. Why don't you stop empowering foreign governments to kick in the doors of their LGBTQ+ citizenry and murdering them?”

“Waaaah! Religious persecution! Literally crucifying me! Literally the Antichrist!!”

Elon Musk #ableist #dunning-kruger #crackpot #forced-birth #quack #sexist

Weight can be shed, depression can be managed, and suicidal ideation can be overcome.

Meanwhile, an unwanted pregnancy has it's own laundry list of health issues and risks, but pointing those out makes the Conservative death cult you've opted to suckle on angry, doesn't it Musky?

Clif High #crackpot #ufo #wingnut #racist #conspiracy

Look, while I would also like a remake of V, preferably a good one for a change, and especially if Michael Ironside and Robert Englund make cameos, I don't think injecting your misotheistic batshittery will endear it to many people.

Vox Day #fundie #conspiracy #wingnut

“People can just say whatever they want, and they're using that ability to make my imaginary friend feel bad!”

Vox is such a whiny little bitch, isn't he?

ElijahLinn #magick #moonbat

That's funny, I didn't have to do all that to summon Hamas. I just had to complete the chocobo breeding game, find the Northern Cave, and beat the secret superboss Cubic Zirconia Weapon, and I received the Summon Hamas Materia right after that.

You must have a glitched version of the game.

Mark Meckler #psycho #racist #wingnut

“Every problem is a nail and I have this fat, throbbing military-industrial hammer that NEEDS to be used!!!”

Answers in Genesis #conspiracy #fundie #pratt

If Darwin's work was nonsense, any and all medical and genetic research since then would bear that out, simply by anything derived from his studies just plain old not working. Since that hasn't been the case so far…

(realizes that it's AiG and expecting them to have the mental capacity for extrapolation is a fool's endeavor.)

…*Sigh!* Since the work derived from Darwin's writings do in fact work, we can then extrapolate that Darwin was correct in at least the basics of his theories.

Donald J. Trump #wingnut

This man is a mob boss. In a country that hadn't crumbled under the horrors of Obama Derangement Syndrome, he either would be facing a thousand RICO charges, or end up gunned down by a rival mobster while gorging himself on stolen cannoli.

Wayne Allyn Root #wingnut

“Don't have opinions about important things that impact not only your own life, but also the lives of millions of people in this country and billions across the world! It might affect your money, which is the only thing I can understand anyone giving a shit about!”

Dude is threatening someone's livelihood because they might hold an opinion he doesn't like. What a weak-assed bitch boy.

The Rev. Steven Roland #wingnut #fundie

…fellow liberal Donald Trump

…On a world where American explorer Christopher Columbus discovered Europe, actor Abraham Lincoln assassinated President JW Boothe, and astronaut Clark Kent became the superpowered Ultraman, the greatest criminal threat known to man, opposed only by the heroic Lex Luthor.

Kevin Sorbo #conspiracy #wingnut

"If Donald Trump do bad thing, why him not charged with fomenting insurrection in 1972? Why only after him President?”
- Kevin Sorbo, Unfrozen Caveman Actor and "Very Smart Person”

Charlie Kirk #conspiracy #pratt #racist #wingnut

Holy fucking cowballs, he just doubled the fuck down, didn't he? His pet cops coerced a confession out of five innocent kids, the real perp was found, confessed and convicted, DNA confirmed the kids didn't do it, the cops fucking admitted that the confesions were bad, and this thumb-exiled-from-the-rest-of-the-hand-for-chronic-douchebaggery just can't reconcile reality with the fantasy that maybe his worldview was fucking wrong!

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #wingnut

“Come, children, and I shall tell you the tales of Mighty Obama, Slayer of Kings, Feller of Giants, Conqueror of the very Heavens themselves; He Who Rules From Beyond the Veil, He Who Commands All Things. Quick is His Steed, Unstoppable are His Armies, and His Castle is the inside of my head, where he is charged no rent.”

Ken Ham #crackpot #dunning-kruger

Right, clearly the logical truth of it all is that women are just talking ribs. Evolution is hard, so let's go with sorcery.

You are a clown, Hambone.

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #wingnut

Why in the sacred name of cheese would anyone ever vote for the party that's actual public platform is, “y’all didn't really want all them rights now, did ya?”

Charlie Kirk #conspiracy #pratt #racist #wingnut

Feynman and Coulter's Love Child #racist

Mr. Incredible #conspiracy

@Chloe #188090

Clearly, MARK WAHLBERG, MICHEAL MOORE, and GEORGE W. BUSH murdered some random porn star because MWAHAHAHAHA moustache twirling evil and stuff.

And then because mescaline and psychosis give you super-detective powers, folks like OP were able to see the threads connecting it all.

Mark Wiering #enbyphobia

Welcome to the English language, Mark, it's going to eat you alive!

Babylon Bee #wingnut #transphobia

Babylon Bee's Head Writer: “Oh boy, my cutting wit and pithy remarks are sure to cut those icky homos down to the quick! Truly I am this generations Oscar Wilde, except I like the boobies!”

BB's HW's Mom: “Melvin, are you done playing newsman down there?”

BB’s HW: “Maaaaaaaaawm, I'm not playing, I'm winning the culture wars! I just wrote a hiii-larious article tearing the trans community apart by insinuating that they'll all regret it in five years despite all evidence to the contrary! I can almost see those snowflakes seething into their soy lattes and avocado toast right now, when they see how right I am! Then they'll regret all those swirlies and calling me pizza-face!”

BB's HW's Mom: “That's nice, dear. I only ask because I need to wash the laundry, and your sheets need a good bleaching again.”

BB's HW: “Ugh! Fine! You can do the stupid laundry. I have to go dig up some more ‘facts’ for my next chain of hard-hitting bullshit stories attacking entire communities already put upon by an apathetic and openly hostile society!”

Tucker Carlson and Wendy Patterson #conspiracy #crackpot #forced-birth #quack #racist

Joseph Ludapo - I have too much respect for science to ever refer to him as a ‘doctor’ - is exactly the kind of window-licking moron that would microwave a spider, thinking it was his ticket to easy superpowers.

Someone needs to explain to him that we put foreign DNA into our bodies every time we eat something, and yet the number of man-chicken-carrot hybrids strutting around is shockingly low.

Then said vague heroes of science need to strip him of his position as Florida's SG, revoke his medical license, and send him back to Kindergarten so he can undergo actual education.

various commenters #wingnut #racist

Ugh. Here we fuckin’ go.

Average IQ would literally be around 150

HOLY FUCK, YOU CONSANGUINOUS ASSHOLE, THAT IS NOT HOW IQ WORKS, YOU INBRED FUCKSTICK! THE AVERAGE IQ WILL ALWAYS BE 100!! IF YOU SOMEHOW GET YOUR GATTACA DYSTOPIA, AND KIDS LEARN HOW TO BUILD WARP ENGINES OUT OF LEGO BRICKS, THE AVERAGE WILL STILL BE FUCKING 100! IT'S A SLIDING SCALE, YOU GOAT-FELLATING SON OF A NEARSIGHTED GYNOCOLOGIST!!

sickness and disease would be virtually eliminated

HOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!? ! UNDER WHAT BIOLOGICAL MECHANISM WOULD BREEDING HUMANS LIKE FUCKING SHOW PONIES ELIMINATE SHIT LIKE CANCER AND THE COMMON FUCKING COLD, YOU LICKER OF RANCID TOAD BELLIES? WE ALREADY PRACTICE EUGENICS ON ANIMALS - FUCK, WHERE DO YOU FUCKING THINK POODLES AND DALMATIONS COME FROM - AND THEY'RE FUCKING RIFE WITH MEDICAL ISSUES, YOU COD-SUCKER!!

creative capacity would be a thousand times what it is now

IF YOU'RE SO FUCKING CREATIVE, COME UP WITH A NEW CONCEPT THAT WASN'T FUCKING DEBUNKED IN THE NINETEENTH FUCKING CENTURY, YOU DOLLOP OF CONGEALED HYENA JISM!

the average person would be tall, lean, athletic, and beautiful.

AND HAVE THE GENETIC DIVERSITY OF A MID-’90S NBC SITCOM, WITH HALF THE CHARISMA YOU'D FIND AT THE BOTTOM OF A MOULD-INFUSED GARBAGE CAN, YOU CLOWN-ASSED GOPHERDICKED MONKEYFUCKER!

*Sigh!*

Kibeth, old_but_gold & AriadneOnNaxos #transphobia

God-fucking-dammit, these people are exhausting. And horrible.

Paul White Gold Eagle #magick #ufo #crackpot

Don't drink thermometers, people. Just…don't.

Ray Comfort #dunning-kruger #fundie #kinkshaming

“Then I ask these atheists, who are totally real and everyone can see them, if they think I'm handsome, and they all agree that I'm handsome, and strong, and smart, and certainly don't look like a placeholder graphic used by the To Catch a Predator FX team. Then they all shake my hand, tears in their eyes, big guys, big atheists, and thank me for making them realize that magic is indeed real and reality isn't.”

“Then I go home to check if Kirk Cameron left me any voicemails - he hasn't, but I certainly don't cry in the shower while eating a banana over it, nope, not me, sir - and relax knowing that these totally real events validate what I already believed.”

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #wingnut

I know several people who have died. From cancer, from old age, one from falling down the stairs while fetching another bottle from the wine cellar. How many do you think have ever eaten a sandwich? Pretty damned suspicious. I heard Elvis ate sandwiches, too. JFK probably ate sandwiches. But Big Sandwich doesn't want you to know that their product kills.

The point is, eat a sandwich, and you will die!!!

Also, go Root yourself, Wayne.

Nick Fuentes #wingnut #conspiracy

“Of course it was a terrorist attack, that's why I like it! Let me recount this massive list I have detailing all the ways I'm a horrible piece of shit!”

Ferry Man ‘s toll #racist

Sir John A. was Scottish. I'm pretty sure that's one of those non-Aryan peoples WN would gleefully immolate to keep their turgid murder-boners up.

Emma 🌼🏳️‍🌈 #biphobia #moonbat

Well this seems legally ironclad. Sorry, Ms. Swift, but Emma said you can't date Whatsisname. I know, I know, but as we all know, Emma was declared Grand Arbiter of Who Gets to Fuck, narrowly beating out Brian Neidermeyer or whatever the fucking fuck his fucking name is, I can't be arsed enough to give a shit. My point is, Emma has decreed it so, and none may defy the word of Emma.