“All these minority groups that claim that straight, Christian, white men were bad to them are clearly being manipulated by Commies! I wouldn't be surprised if Karl Marx himself used a time machine to go back, disguise himself as every bad white man in history, and false flag all this shit! Every single captain of every single slave ship? Marx in a mask! Every single plantation owner? Marx in a mask! Every single Nazi guard at every single work, concentration and death camp? Marx in a mask!
The truth is, we white men are just cuddly little teddy bears who would never hurt anyone, and we fart cinnamon scented glitter and belch rainbows and kittens and it's just not fair we're being blamed for things that Time Lord Karl Marx obviously did! If only the wimmens would stop trying to control their own lives, if the coloureds would only go back to work in the fields, the homos would admit they deserve to die horribly and take care of that for us, and if the Jews would only…no, wait, we'll do that one, we'll enjoy it more. The point is, we know what's best for everyone, and they should just do as we want because blah blah blah seriously fuck me with a shoe what a fucking hateful jackass pigfucker I am.”