kuyohashi

@kuyohashi

Straight_Rabbit_3542 #moonbat

I say this as someone who was deeply terrified of all dogs as a child, to the point of panicked paralysis and screaming fits, and who has only recently started to work through the issue, even I find this to be a bit fucking much.

AirWinn Oli #quack #conspiracy #fundie

Actually, The Matrix was originally designed to be a sci-fi anime-flavoured comic book with an allegory for the trans experience, according to one of the original directors.

Also, the Luddite utopia I imagine you want us all to live in would have a mortality rate somewhere around 95%, leaving us without a viable breeding population. Maybe you look forward to a future where you can finally express your forbidden love to your more comely cousins, but I've met mine, and they just ain't doing it for me.

Donald J. Trump #wingnut

@CY #216197

True, if only because he has at least enough pattern recognition and capacity for forethought to realize that without liberals to blame everything on, all that will be left is his own glaring incompetence.

Still, he doesn't need nearly as many liberals as are in inexistence to act as a scapegoat. He won't make it illegal to be one, but he also won't be terribly strict with the tag limit when he announces hunting season.

Tatsuya Ishida #conspiracy #psycho #racist

Okay, fuck every square fucking inch of this disgusting psychopath. He has officially become every bit as bad as the Croat, Hatebaby, Stinky Viking, all those fuckers. He has graduated to full on rogue's gallery. Welcome to the Legion of Doom, asshole; you made it to the fucking big leagues of douchebaggery.

Mr Metron666 #transphobia #homophobia

“This marginalized group we offer tokens to had better get on the Mindless Bigoted Fuckspittle bandwagon and start hating this related marginalized group, or else we'll start revoking those tokens.”

Hell of a strategy there, Bob; let's see if it pays off.

Fred S #conspiracy #crackpot

“This book doesn't cater to the brain rot I whole-heartedly adhere to, therefore it is compromised deception, and not me being wrong about a conspiracy theory!”

Andrew Tate #dunning-kruger

Me: Survived two near-fatal accidents before the age of two, one of which required surgery to relieve cranial pressure, the other sent me to the burn ward. Suffered permanent damage to my spine when I was 13, still walk with a cane 32 years later. Suffered a near-complete breakdown just after high school. Homeless twice, living with crippling social anxiety and depression, slowly losing vision in one eye.

(And by no means have I suffered the worst, out of the entire human race. Other people have, and have had it, far worse than me.)

Tater Tot: Got caught with his hand in the human trafficking jar, now facing the consequences of his actions.

We are not the fucking same, you fucking narcissist.

Sorry, Andy, you don't even place in the suffering Olympics. You don't even get to sit in the stadium and watch the events in the suffering Olympics.

Darren Seabolt #fundie

Now, I may just be a simple country jackass on the internet, but would that not create a pressure differential that would pop every complex organic lifeform like an overfilled balloon made of salami and Ragu?

Marianne #transphobia

I think of poor Jazz Jennings

You ain't fooling nobody, kitten. When you ‘think’ of Jazz Jennings, you imagine pushing her onto the same boxcar to the camps you want to put the rest of the transcommunity onto. You have no sympathy for her, she's one of your targeted victims in the making. Why else would you seek to strip her of her rights as a transperson and trivialize her life and her experiences as just a ‘fad’ or a 'fetish?’

Laura Wood #racist #fundie

@Conscience #215814

Yep.

Because Laura Wood-For-Brains doesn't just hold onto one bigotry, she samples them all, like she's at a fuckwit buffet.

Ann Barnhardt #fundie #racist #quack #crackpot #kinkshaming

@Malingspann #215506

There is a relatively recent version where Scrooge, Marley, Cratchit, everyone, is gay as springtime. Fezziwig was even played by Bruce Valanch. I've not seen it, I avoid Christmas movies like the plague, save for the odd RB special and a few iterations of ACC, but from what I've heard it's okay-ish at best.

And she acts like Scrooge likes being a lonely old miser - he's still hurt because his sister died and he let Belle slip away. Everyone he loves leaves him, so he clings to the one thing that will never hurt him, his money.

The Rev. Steven Roland #fundie

“Sitting in my underwear on a Sunday morning eating candy and watching reruns” is literally how I spent my Sundays as a kid. It was…alright, I hated Sundays, it never had any good cartoons. It was like diet Saturday with extra aspartame.

Also, oh good, the other lunatics see how insane the Calvinists are. Now if only they could make the mental leap to divorce themselves from the fruitbattery in which they are all ensconced.

Bennett Lee Ross #crackpot #ufo #magick #quack #conspiracy

Roque alien factions claim ownership over us

No they don't. Also, what is a ‘roque’ alien? Are they delicious?

Because they have altered our DNA

No, they didn't.

They are fighting with other factions over holographic dream realms
That they want to be masters of

Your imaginary supervillains are dumb.

This is a game so complex
It is easy to get lost in it

I can quit Sims 4 any time I want. I just don't want to, I find screaming at three people who just stand around like especially stupid potatoes while I'm trying to get them to go to work, not starve to death and use the bathroom to be relaxing.

Lost in the drama
Lost in the physical senses
And estranged from our innate 3d heart light technology

This Robotman reboot sounds weird. And I'm probably the only person on Earth who actually remembers the old Robotman cartoon.

Now is the time to wake up and claim your sovereignty
And jump on board your inner holodeck simulation conceptor

Huh. So that's what that weird beeping was. I thought it was just gas.

The Grand Canyon has been strip mined for uranium copper and iridium
These precious metals are used for off world agendas
Sap from giant trees can be synthesized into an ambrosia life sustaining elixir
And also into an ecstasy like drug

Uh…huh. No, Benny, maple syrup is not actually an immortality potion. At least, not the thick sugar-goop you get in the States. Now, the Canadian stuff, yeah, that does extend human lifespans, and it also bestows a host of superpowers, but that's just one more reason Herr Drumpfenfuhrer wants to conquer us, I guess.

Spices animate the body
And allow entrance into portals
Making it one of the most valuable substances in the multiverse

…
*shotguns a tablespoon of cinnamon to gain multiverse-travel powers, regrets it all immediately*
Callin’ bullshit on that, Benny.

The first beings here were insectoids
Ruled by the Ant Queen
They are still here

And I for one welcome our insect overlords!

Gamma rays from the sun improve our brain waves
Making a better connection between the left and right brain hemispheres
The sun simulator blocks out a lot of gamma rays

If the sun pumped out gamma radiation, Benny, than the Earth would be a bleached, lifeless rock. Or we'd all be the Hulk, but I think the ‘dead planet’ thing is more likely.

On Dunangus Island in Irishmore Ireland
Is the remains of a soul shard library
Soul shards are returning to their rightful owners
And people are feeling more whole
We live on a toroidal extension of a vortex
And it is covered with an electromagnetic sheath

Uh…huh…

If we lived on a globe
People would be falling off everywhere
Except the north pole

Can these people not think in three dimensions? How hard is it to understand that on a three-dimensional sphere, ‘down’ is always in the direction of the planetary core?

Believing you are on a globe
Circling a gigantic fireball of gas
Separates you from reality

I don't think there's enough cinnamon and maple syrup in the spherical world to make me see your reality, Benny.

The monetary system is a control system
Where you do not have to use whips and chains!

But we could still use the whips and chains, right? I mean, if we wanted to, that is; for, you know…personal reasons?

Telestai Nexus #crackpot #quack #magick #wingnut

*Sigh!*

Kubrick didn't name HAL. Arthur C. Clarke did. You didn't even know the movie was based on a book, kindly sit the fuck down.

Also, no, IBM does not precede HAL. “Precede” means “came before.” The word you're looking for, you waffle, is ‘succeed,’ that thing in life you have never and will never do.

Mike Stone #wingnut #crackpot #racist #conspiracy

It's the Santa Ana, Mike. Imagine hurricane-force winds, minus the rain, and made of fucking hatred and fire. It's not a new fucking thing, you lying opportunistic shitbag.

Ann Barnhardt #fundie #racist #quack #crackpot #kinkshaming

Gather ‘round, one and all, and bear witness as the amazing contortionist bends and folds a beloved classic and it's message into an ideological pretzel of bigoted brain-fuckery! Watch as someone who doesn't know what the sexuality spectrum is, declares that a character is asexual just because they don't fuck! Watch her claim that a greedy man simply must be a Jew (He isn't, but you know who is? All Three Stooges. Adam Sandler taught me that.) And behold as he realizes that his own mortality and legacy are on the line, which must mean he something something Jesus!

Candace Owens #conspiracy #transphobia

“Freedom of speech” does not mean you get to lie about people, or that they have to tolerate you lying about them. Welcome to Consequencetown, bitch. Population: your lopsided ass.

Ana Kasparian #elitist

MABEL JOHNSON #wingnut #psycho

I'd ask if their CapsLock key was stuck, but I think they have far more pressing matters to be worried about.

Like being screaming monkey bonkers, for one.

Donald Trump #wingnut #elitist

Fucking Baby Huey tossing his full diaper on the shag carpeting again, that someone else might get a moment in the sun, even if it's just their fucking funeral.

Fred was right - Donald truly is the herpes of the human race.

Hibatullah Akhundzada and the Taliban #fundie #sexist

It seems to me it just be so much easier for all the men in these countries to just mandate that they all wear blindfolds when out in public. That way, there's no chance of seeing anything that makes them experience the real world or distract them from uttering their skygenie's name on an endless loop in their head, which I just naturally assume is what they think everyone should do all the time.

Cindy Horne Cowan #transphobia

“Here's a pamphlet detailing how you aren't who you thought you were, but instead a list of things made up by people who have literally never met you, but whose input into your life I value more than your own. Shall we discuss how right this pamphlet is in describing your existence in a polite and civil discourse, you filthy porn-addicted child-groomer?”

Jake Shields and Thomas Rousseau #conspiracy #racist #psycho

Leo Frank, for the record, was a Jewish man wrongly convicted of the rape and murder of a thirteen year old girl and lynched by an antisemitic mob of inbred fuckwhistles.

And this human sanitary napkin just applauded the extrajudicial murder of an innocent man because his equally inbred daddy-brother-cousin-grampa told him lies about his life sucking being the fault of an entire group of people.

Because when you want to prove that we need to start inventing time travelling condoms and that your momma needs to be the first to receive one, but being a Nazi and a bigot aren't enough, try cheering innocent people getting murdered by braindead Punisher wannabes.

various commenters #transphobia

@Malingspann #214554

When the exact cause of being transgender is found, these people will demand in utero tests to weed it out of the genepool.

Bennett Lee Ross #crackpot #magick #conspiracy

And thus the Stupid Riddlers were so joined by the Idiot Hannibal Lecters - cannibals who secretly run things, and hide their horrible truths where any Clorox-swilling internet troll can see them.

Donald Trump #wingnut #conspiracy #psycho #pratt #dunning-kruger

@TFAltHist #214367

Did…did he just openly promise to go to war with Denmark?

Not officially (’cause he can't do that. Yet.). But…yeah. Yeah, he did.

Especially since Canada being admitted as a single state (instead of each of its provinces being admitted as states) doesn’t make much sense.

The idiot doesn't realize that we've got 41 million people up here, which would make us more populous than California, and that only the most hat-chewingest self-centered assholes amongst us (so, like…Hatebaby, I guess) are what Americans would consider ‘conservative.’ My dad and sister are conservative with a big ‘C’, they despise Trudeau, and even they would be considered left-wing pinko commies by American standards.

Elena Danaan #ufo #magick #conspiracy

@Conscience #214353

But how else would anyone learn to pierce the veil of bullshit these wackos spread? It's not as if there's a vast worldwide web of information one could easily access from their computer, or hell, their fucking phones, with which they could then debunk said bullshit.

Donald Trump #wingnut #conspiracy #psycho #pratt #dunning-kruger

“There won't be any wars under my administration! Except I'm gonna totally invade four fucking countries and expand the Empire, but those don't count as wars, because I don't understand that the countries I want to invade have allies that aren't us and who will respect mutual defense agreements! How could World War Three possibly come about because of my shoe-chewing idiocy? “

MarthaMMC, Wsbfom01 & Lipsy #transphobia

“And now that we've sacrificed the TQ+es to the monstrous hydra of bigotry, the frummers are sure to leave us LGBses alone. After all, we're all on the same side here, right?

Right?

Yeah, it's not like we were their target until another outgroup started making inroads, and now that we’ve properly stomped all over this other group, they totally won't remember that we used to be the boogeyman de jour and try to do the same thing to us. That could never happen.”

Parents With Inconvenient Truths about Trans #transphobia

Y’all do know those chains represented shit Marley failed to do while he was alive, right? Every time he ignored a charitable act, he got a chain link, or a lockbox. So what, trans!Marley gets a shiny new chain for every penis left uninverted, every shot of HRT uninjected?

Also, I love how they've developed more psychic powers, as their plot demands. First, they had the ability to know a person's innermost thoughts, and now they can see the future!

Albert Yockey and Harold Connell #wingnut #psycho

WHAT!?! YOU MEAN SNOOZY JIM BRANDON JUST OPENED UP THE PRISON DOORS AND LET ALL THOSE KILLERS, TERRORISTS, AND PEOPLE WHO RECORD MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAMES WITHOUT EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION JUST WALK FREE?

OH, HE DIDN'T? THEY STILL HAVE TO ROT IN PRISON FOR THE REST OF THEIR MISERABLE LIVES? SO THEY STILL AREN'T A THREAT TO THE GENERAL POPULATION ANYMORE? THEN WHY ARE WE ALL YELLING?

Besides, give it a couple weeks and Trump will have someone executed. Probably someone who dared to get his Mickey D's order wrong. Woe unto the damned soul who dares to put lettuce and tomato upon his cheeseberder.

various commenters #transphobia

Huh.

And here I thought the only place you could find a Dixiecrat in the 21st Century was on Isla Nublar.

“We were Democrats until they decided to stop using the n-word!” Same fucking vibe here. And I predict it will end the same way, too.

Also, “mildly offbeat opinion?”

“I don't think these people really exist, and if they do, they shouldn't!” isn't ‘mildly offbeat,’ it's dehumanizing, unpersoning, and softly genocidal.

Clif High #ufo #crackpot #conspiracy

Andrew Tate #crackpot #dunning-kruger #homophobia #psycho #sexist

Men who drink water are gay. Men who eat food are gay. Men who read books are gay. Men who fuck women are gay. And now, men who sleep are gay.

Let me know when the Grand Arbiter of Masculinity declares that men who breathe air are gay.

Candace Owens #conspiracy #dunning-kruger

Now, does Candy Owens hate vaccines because she's an idiot mouthpiece for the most ignorant slice of the demographic, or does she hate vaccines because Jonas Salk was Jewish? You decide!

Donald Trump #wingnut

I just love how the rebuttals are all, “dude, we tried that, it was called the War of 1812, they responded by walking all the way to the capital and burning down the Presidential Mansion.

Twice.

While Drunk.”

As if Donald knows anything about history.

And yeah, it was actually the British that burned the Presidential Mansion (we weren't confederated until 1867) but that seems to be the only Canadian military victory Americans know.

Meanwhile, Passchendaele, the Dieppe, the Somme, Vimy Ridge, the Netherlands, Normandy…

We've been fighting and dying on godforsaken, mud-soaked plots of foreign soil for 109 years. Does he honestly think we won't do the same for our own godforsaken, mud-soaked plot of soil?

Tatsuya Ishida #racist #conspiracy

So only DefCon 3? I may be wrong about this, but isn't DefCon worse the lower the number is? So DefCon 3, out of 4 categories, isn't all that bad.

Again, I'm not military so I might be wrong on that, but it seems he is basically saying, “Oh no, Nefarious Overlords Ruling From the Shadows! Someone arched their eyebrow in my general direction, clearly they are a threat to our Nefarious Secret Plans, we must launch the StarKiller Platform and scour the Earth clean of all life!”

Brother Nathanael #racist #wingnut #conspiracy

“I'm seeing brown people! That means the Jews are shipping them here! Or teleporting, they do that you know!”

Ooooor, brown people who came here decades ago are having kids. Brown people can be born in the US, you used gym sock of a human being.

The Old #crackpot #magick #conspiracy

1) If your assertion that the foundations of modern science were false, then none of the modern technology based on that science would work. Assuming this message travels from my laptop to the wider web, that does not seem to be the case.

2) Yes, there is plasma in blood. It's the liquidy part, the stuff left behind when you strip out all the blood cells. This plasma is not the same as quantum plasma, which is just hyperheated matter in a fully energetic state.

3) Your entire conspiracy depends on the whole human race being wiped out or losing it's memory. Why did nobody ever ask, “hey, whatever happened to that vast global empire that ruled our lives and provided us with Magitek?” Did they not notice? Or, did it never exist at all. If the PTB covered up the Empire’s existence so thoroughly, to the point that people who would have lived in the Empire at the height of it's power have no memory of the Empire, then how did you learn about it?

4) I'm looking to experiment with powerful hallucinogenics so as to experience a journey through the cosmos. Hook a brother up?

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. #quack #dunning-kruger #ableist

“Hello there, fellow struggling addict. Have you ever thought of surrendering to slavery to cure your addiction?”

Also, if we're sending benzo-addie junkies to the farms for four year stints, I got a candidate in mind. He's a slum-lord game show host with delusions of intelligence and competence, and getting him onto the farms for four years would do the world a world of good. He can start Jan. 20th at the earliest.

Wanda Gordon #transphobia

@Malingspann #213514

Unless the 25th amendment is invoked to remove Trump from office after less than four years.

Do you honestly see anyone from his camp being willing to pull that particular cord? Dotard could be standing at the podium, drooling like a lobotomite, taking a Mitch McConnell moment like his brain just jumped the track, before coming back to reality precisely long enough to declare war on the ocean - any ocean! All the oceans! They're not sending their best and their brightest, they're sending Great Whites and Makos and angler fish and, he assumes, some very fine guppies - then spending the next eight minutes sharting himself, and his cult will proclaim his every word and fragrant emanation to be divinely inspired and that the mere suggestion he be put out to pasture or that he's a mere mortal must be met with lethal force.

It's either they defend him and his power with their dying breathes, or else they risk someone from the other party getting into office and actually trying to help the country, and they simply can't have that.

Batman #wingnut #ufo

Clif High #crackpot #ufo #racist #wingnut #conspiracy

If your aliens can be befuddled by the meagre yield of terrestrial nuclear facilities and weapons, how in the name of the Great and Glorious Gazoo do they navigate the roentgenian hellscape that is the greater galaxy?

Robin #fundie

Elon Musk #elitist

I wasn't violent when I was homeless, but shit like this makes me want to perform some curbside knee surgery on Elmo with a tire iron.

John. C Wright #racist

A translation from John C. Wright into English:

“Of course THAT'S how Affirmative Action works! They just pull in the first black face they see off the street and slap a diploma and/or cushy, high-paying job into his hand! No, it isn't a bulwark against racial discrimination, that stuff's illegal, and nobody would ever break the law just to fit in their biases and bigotries! No black person could ever be qualified for a WHITE job, that's just silly! It's all DEI! What's next, a half-Latino half-Irish Spider-Man? A mosaic of Green Lanterns? A black man wearing the Iron Man armour? A RED Hulk?? When do they people I hate stop intruding on my childhood pretend time!!”

Raw Milk Institute #pratt #quack #dunning-kruger #crackpot

@ShatteredGlassSkywarp #213344

Either way, the whole Civil War could have been settled in a Hell in the Cell match, if Jefferson Davis hadn't been such a whiny little bitch about it.

Galva Emporer #conspiracy #crackpot #wingnut

“Guys, for serious, I wanted to be a decent human being, a good president, a loyal husband, a successful businessman, a role model to future generations, and somebody who distanced themselves from their racist daddy and pimp grampa while also not creeping on underaged girls, up to and including my own offspring, but the wokies won't let me! Putting women and minorities in things and not being a racist doucheblender have forced me to pick up the slack! There must be a balance in the Force, and by Force, I naturally mean the thing I use to get laid. For every decent person out there, I must be ever-worse, to keep things fair and even! It's not my fault, guys!”

Raw Milk Institute #pratt #quack #dunning-kruger #crackpot

Raw milk also contains any viruses, bacteria, or phytotoxins the cattle may ingest or develop. Nancy Hanks Lincoln died from drinking contaminated raw milk after one of her cows ate white snakeroot. You've probably heard of her son, Abraham. He was kinda famous. Invented the bodyslam, I think.

Various Commenters #wingnut #moonbat #dunning-kruger #transphobia

@DarkPhoenix #213275

Trump, go fuck yourself. From Canada.

On the Plains of Abraham, in the middle of a colony of beavers, smothered in piping hot poutine from Timmies, with Maurice ‘The Rocket’ Richard's rusty hockey skate, all the way to Saska-Fuckin’-Toon, while groaning in pain to the tune of Stompin’ Tom Connor's ‘Good Ol’ Hockey Game', as the cast of ‘The Beachcombers’ provide commentary, and broadcast the whole thing on CBC, may he go fuck himself.

I may have somewhat fervorous disdain for those who ‘joke’ about usurping my country's sovereignty.