Careful. Once, I admitted that I had a history of being abused by people - my parents, in fact - who also happened to be sexist, racist, and homophobic, and that that’s why I use this web site: to make my awareness of sexism, racism, and homophobia as keen as possible so that I can unlearn those parts of my own system of values and beliefs. Sexism, racism, and homophobia were such an integral part of the environment that I grew up in that I am concerned that I still harbour some of those attitudes, but I don’t want to. There’s no reason anyone else should suffer because of my internalised bigotry. My aim on this web site is to filter out those bigotted beliefs in myself. Part of that involves calling out sexism, racism, and homophobia whenever I see it in other people, whether blatant, subtle, conscious, subconscious, directly aggressive, or passive-aggressive. Being able to notice it in other people helps me to become aware of my own blind spots around these issues.
CKR once read a piece of text where I mentioned my history with my parents, and decided that that meant that I had mummy and daddy issues and that whenever I quoted and commented on anything he said here on FSTDT, I wasn’t actually talking about him at all but about mummy-and-daddy-dearest. He made it very clear that as far as he was concerned, I had ‘admitted’ that my comments about his quotes were unfounded and that he was utterly absolved of any sexism, racism, or homophobia.
Needless to say, that isn’t the case at all. My parents were sexist, racist, and homophobic, and so is CKR.
That wouldn’t be the first time he’s misrepresented somebody else’s words and it won’t be the last, so I urge you to be careful about what you reveal about yourself here. Even if it’s something relatively vague, if he can use it to absolve himself then he will, and if he can use it to discredit you then as far as he’s concerned, all the better. It’s something he’s prone to, and with the way he does it, I’m genuinely unsure whether he’s doing it as a passive-aggressive way to attack others, or whether he’s really that dense.
As a lovely little bonus to all of this, since then he’s mentioned a few times that he thinks my parents aren’t as bad as I say they are and that they’re some kind of poor. unfortunate victims of mine. So yeah: add victim-blamer to the list of things I’m prepared to call him. He deserves it.
EDIT: Also, come join us in the Discord server! It’s always cool to see a new member join the community!