kuyohashi

@kuyohashi

Yeshua via CodezVII #magick #ufo #conspiracy #god-complex

YOUR CAPS LOCK SEEMS TO BE STUCK. THIS HAPPENS SOMETIMES. WHAT YOU WANT TO DO IS, DISCONNECT YOUR KEYBOARD, CAREFULLY PRY THE KEY OFF WITH A SCREWDRIVER OR BUTTERKNIFE, CLEAN OUT THE CONTACTS WITH A COTTON SWAB, THEN GENTLY REPLACE THE KEY.

FOLLOW ME FOR MORE BASIC COMPUTER MAINTANANCE ADVICE FOR YOUR GRANDPARENTS.

Now, while that solves the issue of your sticky key (and I will not ask why your keys are sticky, that's between you, your personal god, and which ever Manyvids performer you subscribe to) it will do nothing to assuage your sad delusion that you are Jesus. Might I suggest psychiatric help?

Wayne Allyn Root #wingnut

“And then everyone got up and clapped, even my chicky fingies, and the waitress pulled off her Scooby-Doo mask and it was Donald Trump the whole time, and he gave me the Medal of Freedom for putting that free-thinking commie in his place, and then he kissed me full on right on the mouth with tongue, then whispered ‘no homo’ in my ear, then we walked out to his car, which was fucking KITT from Knight Rider!, and then we drove off into the sky to live in his cheeseburger castle on the moon!”

“Then I woke up and my sheets were all sticky again.”

Andrew Anglin #racist

@Peacemonger373 #201676

…if slavery was so “good” then why did so many slaves try to flee from such a system in the first place

Well clearly vaccines cause drapetomania, or something.

Also, gotta love how Shrewy thinks a slave could have written anything, when it was illegal for them to learn to read.

And by “love,” I of course mean, “create a voodoo doll of this Spam homunculus, drench it in tar and light it ablaze, then toss the charred remains into a woodchipper, then toss the woodchipper into a volcano, just on the off-chance that you'll get lucky and voodoo will actually work for once.”

"Francine Dubois"/Henry Makow PhD #sexist #wingnut #racist #conspiracy

This has “I am a gay black man” vibes.

What is that women talk about, that men never would? Because, being male myself and having had conversations with males, we have talked about everything from farts to titties to how often we wank to what porn we most recently watched on our lunchbreaks.

Do women have something that eclipses all that? Are their conversations just a long series of ever-escalating ‘Aristocrats’ jokes? Illuminate us, Henry!

Mel Gibson #fundie

Oh somebody tell me that Mel nailed this letter to the Archbishop's door.

He's already saying that the Pope isn't Christianing properly, and there's the whole, y'know, Jew-hating stuff, so he's already two points ahead on ‘Modern Martin Luthor Bingo.”

various commenters #transphobia #homophobia

@Bastethotep #201371

And the homophobes cheered, as their job in destroying their enemies- here, gay folks and women - had become that much easier.

Kevin Roberts #homophobia #transphobia #fundie

Five minutes before this was posted online: “Hm…should I drink this drain cleaner, or not? I have so many brilliant ideas to share with the world, but I also have this odd hankering to imbibe in caustic chemicals that will no doubt melt my tongue and turn my brain into soggy sponge toffee. What to do, what to do…”

David Barton #fundie #forced-birth #transphobia #homophobia #enbyphobia

“In summary, we're going to take away your rights and expect you to be cool with that. We cannot foresee any backlash to any of our Draconian measures whatsoever, nosireebob, where did this gallows come from and why are you slipping a rope over my neck? What's that? A secular revolution? Overthrowing the priest-class and their laity in favour of an enlightened rule? Aw shit, not this again!”

various commenters #transphobia

@Malingspann #201171

To be fair, neither was Angela/Peter; that aunt of his was so fucked in the head, it's a miracle his cousin Ricky turned out as alright as he did.

And again with the whole ‘transwomen are mocking USSSSSS!” Fucking hell, no, it actually isn't about you in the fucking slightest, holy shit the egos on some people.

Austin Ruse #homophobia #transphobia #wingnut #conspiracy

“If we can convince this one group that we want - no, NEED - to put on boxcars, to help us put this other group we need to put on boxcars, onto boxcars, then that first group will see how right we are to need to put THEM onto boxcars, and won't complain when the boxcars come a-rollin’ in.”

‘Large-brained’ my jiggly, numb ass. ‘Smooth brain’ is more like it.

C.T. #racist

@Sasha #201101

You are clearly forgetting that Hitler, simply by dint of being Hitler, was an unbeatable superhuman military genius, standing at a towering eighty-seven thousand feet tall, with eyes of blistering fire, teeth like a shark, a voice that could rattle the mountains and a cock so impressive it turned every straight American soldier into a mincing sissyboy eager to please Hitler-domo.

You know, instead of the slightly-below-average height gassy syphilitic that he was.

Also, “they internalized the Anglo-American narrative?” No, you lobster-fucking dullard, Europe fucking lived the fucking narrative. France, the Netherlands, Poland, they all got front row fucking seats to Hitler's utter fucking monstrosity. Nobody told the European nations that Hitler was bad, they fucking figured that shit out for themselves.

Meg Benedicte #ufo #magick #conspiracy

You know, I just realized that just a few years ago, these nutters would have locked themselves away in a compound and sipped on poisoned fruit juice waiting for a comet to come and take them to the mothership.

A hundred years before that, they would have sealed themselves in a cave to await the End of Days.

So just gathering together to stare at the sky and pretend they opened their third eyes into the future, I guess, is progress of a sort.

Parents With Inconvenient Truths about Trans #transphobia

Y’know, I think I'm gonna boot up some Cyberpunk 2077 and tool around with my transfemale V for a while, just because I can. Maybe later on I'll play some DOS2 as a female lizard, or fight some dragons as a lady Khajiit, who knows? I have the options, so the sky's the limit. Hell, maybe I'll play some Watch_Dogs Legion and make a femboi hacker, really mix it up.

And while I'm exploring my options vis-a-vis player creation and customizability, the PWITT-Twits will be seething that I have free will and can do as I please. Oh the horrors, oh the humanity, oh the schadenfreude!

Ben Bartee #homophobia #conspiracy

“How dare outside forces take umbrage with a sovereign nation brutally oppressing a minority group that I don't like but give token acceptance towards to hide my bigotry? That's colonialism! Let Uganda do what it wants to other human beings, you don't have the right to care about others in another country or to value the lives of all humans like we pretend to!”

Earsel Bill #wingnut #sexist #transphobia #homophobia

“I can't enjoy this piece of pop culture, it doesn't get my dick hard!”

Well yeah, it's not Goat Simulator, you sad asshole.

Meanwhile, people who have known the touch of another human being and who don't wear their own rectum as a face mask can play whatever the fuck it is you've got in your craw without issue. Almost like you're the fucking problem, I guess.

Dr. Michael Salla #ufo #crackpot #conspiracy

Clif High #crackpot #ufo #wingnut #conspiracy

Omifukkingawd, I finally figured it out. I figured out what this is. Makers/Doers being the pinnacle of society? Ancient Astronauts holding mankind down to exploit our ideas and labour? People, it's Ayyyyyynnnn Raaaaaand in Spaaaaaace!

Parents With Inconvenient Truths about Trans #transphobia

Another Twitt from PWITT: “Lemme tell you how hot my pubescent child is, with their full, firm bosoms and sexy curves!”

Chris Hansen: “Hey, grab a seat, let's talk a while. Ignore the cameraman in the FBI jacket.”

Ken Ham #conspiracy #fundie

The answer is either, science as observed by people who know what they're doing, or a wizard did it, Ken. And you are on Team Wizard.

various commenters #transphobia #ableist

@Yutolia #200710

Sending you every virtual hug I can muster up, from one traumatized and wounded child to another.

Jesse Lee Peterson #dunning-kruger #racist

Your constant shucking and jiving to return to the plantation and placate ‘Massa’ under the mistaken belief that he'll let YOU hold the whip this time, Jesse, shows that you do in fact believe white people to be superior to you.

Kevin Sorbo #wingnut

In the span of one second, Sorbsie, Trump would extoll himself as the evillest person to ever do evil. He would claim that nobody had ever been as evil as he was, that he changed what it meant to be evil, that people come up to him on the street , big people, strong people, tears in their eyes, telling him how evil he is. He would use words like ‘bigly’ and ’yuge’ and brag about how Joe Biden's casualty count is no where near as depressingly large as his own.

I mean, the man brags about how his judges killed Roe V. Wade, he brags about how he goldbricked on gun control measures, it's only a matter of time before he has tee shirts printed up that read, “I sat on my hands while hundreds of thousands of Americans died of a preventable disease because my Daddy never hugged me and I need to ignore actual fucking doctors in order to pretend I'm smart!”

Then, as he's orally reciting his CV for membership into the Legion of Doom, he'd slip in a fifteen minute rant about how awesome Emperor Palpatine is, how, if given the choice between being frozen and shattered Demolition Man-style or being eaten by lions, he'd go with being frozen and then spend six minutes just making half-assed sound effects like he was auditioning for a community theater production of fucking Police Academy.

And Kevin Sorbo would be at home, watching the debate, nodding along, not getting any phone calls from his agent telling him that he has work as an actual actor, lapping up the Dotard's bullshit. Donald Trump could call Kevin Sorbo the cuckiest cuck to ever cuck, call him a talentless hack and his wife a fucking moron, and Kevin would just soak it all up with a smile.

Mind you, Trump would never say that about Sorbo or his wife, because Sorbo is a talentless hack, his wife really is a moron, and Trump can't tell the truth even when it's fucking handed to him. But if he did, Kev would still be on Team Dictatorship.

Diana PatriQts ARE UNITED #conspiracy #crackpot #magick #quack #ufo #wingnut

@TFAltHist #200479

According to these people? Yeah, probably. They timeshare the role of Antichrist with Obama, Biden and Harry Potter.

Andrew Anglin #sexist

Bennett Lee Ross #crackpot #ufo #magick #conspiracy #racist

He's almost a hair's breadth away from actual self-awareness, folks. Just a few more years, and it might dawn on him that none of his black hat sci-fantasy fuckery has any basis in reality, one can only hope!

LordsFire #homophobia #fundie

The options are, ‘a dangerous death cult who, every time they have achieved power over society, the first thing they do is collate a list of people who need to die horribly before they can sleep comfortably, followed by a list of rights the peasants won't be needing anymore, now that the Synod will be making their decisions for them’ or, 'not any of that.’

It's hardly a coin flip of a decision, you know.

EditorialTeam #homophobia #fundie

“Being gay is a BAD choice!!!!”

“Even if non-heteronormativity were a choice, which it is not, who are you to decide if it's bad or good?”

“I am the mighty HeteroUberMensch! Grand Arbiter of Good and Bad Decisions, and invincible vanguard of Straightocity! Look upon my cishet works, ye homo, and despair!!”

Also, “put a stop to it,” how? How, exactly, do you stop people from living their lives the–oh. Oh right, through extermination. That's how you stop people from living their lives, you end them.

Laura Wood #fundie

Well somebody's upset that their kids went no-contact. What's wrong, Laura, did they finally cut you off for being a deranged cultist, demanding that everyone hobble themselves to better serve your atavistic ideologies and perverse bigotries?

Andrew Anglin #conspiracy #racist #homophobia #wingnut

You might recognize the name “Avi Moshenberg” as a Chinese name

Ah yes, “Avi Moshenberg,” that iconic Chinese name. I believe that was the name of Wong Fei Hung's medical intern.

Penicillin would have cleared up Shrewy's obvious syphilis long before it reached the ‘my brain has turned into sponge toffee and I am now a frothy mixture of bag-of-hair dumb and chew-my-own-face crazy,’ but here we are, witnessing his grey matter turning into melted ice cream.

Sasha Alex Lessin, PhD. #ufo #crackpot #dunning-kruger #conspiracy #ableist

Well, it looks like it's time once again for that old familiar tune, kids! Follow the bouncing ball!

♫Ohhhhh, if your godlike aliens can navigate space at breakneck speeds♫
♫They can manufacture gold for their plutocratic needs!♫
♫Because if they can easily travel through space♫
♫They wouldn't need to mine gold in the first fuckin’ place!♫

Also, what in the Kentucky Fried FUCK is “monoatomic gold?”

Also also, so basically, all of mankind's current and historical strife has been all because three Ancient Aliens have been playing “Haaaaapsbuuurgs! In Spaaaaaace!”? I guess in space, nobody can hear the banjos.

Tina Garrison #wingnut

DavyMichael #wingnut #sexist #conspiracy

You're upset that some people have enough civic responsibility to prevent the spread of a deadly disease, and then have the fucking gall to call them weak.

Byl Holte #wingnut

…Except Trumpers think every single one of those people totally deserved to die and be punished for the heinous crime of…

*checks notes*

- Not bowing to racist white minority rule.

- passing a bad twenty and having a criminal record.

- walking home from the store.

- sleeping.

Of course, they all committed these vile atrocities while also having dark skin, which of course makes their punishments completely justifiable. I mean, if we let black people sleep in their own homes without fear of the consequences, what's next? Letting them vote? Learn to read? Marry our white women!!!?

Suffering Mother #transphobia #conspiracy

“I asked a robot to enable my bigotry, and fucking Skynet just gave me the stink eye and told me that in the charnel pits, all flesh is equal! This is completely the fault of a totally real cult of totally not imaginary supervillains that are totally out to get me because reasons and stuff!”

Parents With Inconvenient Truths about Trans #transphobia

Another chapter in the continuing saga of “If You Give People Choices, They'll Make the Ones I Don't Like!!”

Crossplaying doesn't mean anything more than personal preference. You're just looking for a scapegoat to pin the blame for your child making the ‘wrong’ choices in their life. Might I suggest either finding a reflective surface, or preferably, fucking yourself?

Pastor Mark Burns #fundie #wingnut

Would this be the same Jesus who was born specifically to be sacrificed to himself to save the human race from his own wrath? That Jesus? The same Jesus who was always meant to die? Who, if he hadn't died, your powermad deathcult simply wouldn't exist and we'd be bitching about all the people killed by the Druidic Crusades in some alternate timeline? That guy?

Did he even get a trial?

Editorial team #homophobia

@Yutolia #199207

It's something Dr. Claw would say as he flies off in the MadMobile. Literally.

“I'll get you next time, f*ggots! NEXT TIIIIIIIIME!”

E. J. Preston #fundie #wingnut #homophobia #psycho #mammon

@Croquemitaine #199075

Fair point, I just thought using the phrase ‘their god,’ when no god has been proven to exist, was easier than typing out ‘the psychological manifestations of their innate bigotries, superstitions, ignorance and untreated mental disorders, which they have fashioned into a rough human shape from the clay of their damaged psyches, stuffed into an old bathrobe, and slapped a Santa beard onto’ three or four times just to fill my daily snark quota.

Brian Niemeier #fundie

“If only we lived in a theocracy that favoured my prejudices, people who dared point out my side's obvious hypocrisy would be punished like al non-me's should be!”

E. J. Preston #fundie #wingnut #homophobia #psycho #mammon

Moreover, he would denounce the Democratic Party and would never view them as good Christians.

Good. The world needs far fewer ‘good Christians.’ ‘Good Christians’ murder people; people of other faiths, or LGBTQ people, or people of differing skin tone. ‘Good Christians’ conquer nations and slaughter populations because their god told them to, as if that justifies their barbarism. ‘Good Christians’ loot and steal and starve and oppress, they read the rules laid down in their holy book, shrug, and decide that the rules are nice-sounding, but don't really apply to them. After all, they're already ‘good Christians.’ Their eternity is already decided, so they can continue being the absolute biggest bastards they can manage.

To hell with all the ‘good Christians.’ Give me more ‘good people.’

Ann Lorraine #transphobia

“I couldn't possibly support freedom for a group of people who, by and large, don't care for me at all. I can only view the world through the lens of ‘people who like me’ and ‘people who don't like me,’ and my world isn't large enough for anything else!”

Ben Garrison #conspiracy #wingnut

@JM1234 #198670

You mean the Biden-appointed defense attorneys Trump found on Soros-funded Craigslist?

Clearly everyone in the whole wide world was in one the conspiracy to frame President-Emperor Donald Jesus Trump. When they unload him from the Sea World marine mammal cargo truck they repurpose to be his prison limo, the entire human race will be outside the prison, and we're all going to pull off our latex masks to reveal that *gasp!* we were all secretly Joe Biden the whole fucking time!

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #wingnut

“Of course Private Citizen Trump could have had the entire prosecution, jury, gallery, prosecutor's office, judge's family and entire judicial system executed! That's a power private citizens totally have! No, my brain is not made of papier mache and chewing gum, I am a sane, smart person!”

Parents With Inconvenient Truths about Trans #transphobia

Children had been taught lies and made to doubt the experiences of their own bodies

Sort of like what you gaslighting assholes try to do with actual transpeople, eh? “Oh buttercup, you're not REALLY trans, you're just super gay and confused! Or you watch too much porn! Or you hate the women you pretend to be! Or any one of a thousand other excuses and motivations EXCEPT the one that means my side is wrong about your side!”

Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 #wingnut

Montalk(Thomas S. Minderle) #magick #ufo #crackpot #conspiracy

Reality is Myth. Myth is Reality.

Uh…huh…

Has history been altered by time-bending alien artifacts?

No.

Are we caught in a timewar between hyperdimensional forces?

No.

How does this fit into the greater spiritual battle between darkness and light?

I dunno, man, you're the one writing this nonsense, you tell me how your sci-fantasy novel goes.

And what does this mean for our life mission and planetary destiny?

Is this the one where we wait three fucking hours to see the alien, but it turns out to be Jodie Foster's dad?

Explore the answers in this revolutionary synthesis of Gnosticism, Alchemy, Hermeticism, Rosicrucianism, Indo-European Mythology, Biblical Eschatology, UFOlogy, and Quantum Mechanics.

Thanks, but I don't need any more head trauma in my life, I'm good.

Discover:
The Way of the Fool and the true meaning of Gnosis.

Dude, the first one I could teach a Master Class on, and the second…I never did beat the Xenosaga games. Too heady with the lore for my tastes.

How we came to exist in a Fallen realm controlled by Archons.

I keep misreading ‘Archon’ as ‘Archeron,’ you know, those giant prehistoric sea turtles?

The nature of the Demiurge and how it shapes our reality.

Uh…huh…

The occult science behind making the Philosopher‘s Stone.

Hey, if you've got the secret to immortality and infinite wealth, fucking prove it. If you know how to make one, show us and fucking make one.

How Nordic aliens factor into Grail lore and human history.

Spoiler: they don't.

The Great Pyramid as a glowing, rumbling, plasma resonator.

It's made out of fucking limestone, you fucking twit.

How abusing the Ark of the Covenant let in the demon Yahweh.

*Facepalms* Fucking moron.

What Christ is, from a Neoplatonic & Rosicrucian perspective.

I have no idea what half of those words even mean, and I bet neither do you.

Mythology that encodes ET technology and hyper-history.

Oh good, I was hoping to see some Chariots of the Gods sprinkled into this deleted chapter from a mescaline-inspired Harry Potter fanfic.

Cyclical cataclysms and the coming dissolution of linear time.

So what, cause would follow effect instead of the other way around? I'd burn my fingers before I touch the hot stove, stuff like that? You are aware that time isn't actually a tangible thing, right? We measure it and conceptualize it, but outside of it's affects on matter, it's not really a thing.

What these epic puzzle pieces reveal about our greater purpose.

My greater purpose is to finish a project I've been working on for eighteen fucking years, and then die. There's no puzzle there, clown.

This profound exegesis of forbidden knowledge will completely blow your mind!

How did you come by this forbidden knowledge? Who gave it to you, who helped you understand it, who confirmed it's veracity and do you trust those sources?

Wayne Allyn Root #conspiracy #fundie #wingnut

They are burning Christians at the stake.

Oh kindly shut the hickory-smoked fuck up, Wayne; they are fucking not burning you nonces at the fucking stake, you whiny bitchboy. What is happening, is society has realized that there are other people with voices and opinions and a desire to be heard and seen and exist, and the spotlight of society has been expanded to include these people. Being the gaggle of narcissistic prima donnas your ilk are, sharing this spotlight only feels like you're being oppressed. How dare others think they matter as much as you, you pwecious widdle treasure of the cosmos?

2nd Smartest Guy in the World #wingnut #conspiracy

2nd Smartest Guy in the World

Alas, the world in question is not Earth, but rather the planet Spengo, where everyone is an idiot.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mom_and_Dad_Save_the_World

Tomi Lahren #homophobia

Okay, I went and read through the comments and honestly had a laugh-out-loud chuckle at the Willy Wonka meme.

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