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[From Jack Hyles’s advice for how to raise a young girl.]

1. Dress her like a girl. Let her have long hair. Let her wear lace and ribbons. Do not let her wear that which pertaineth to a man. Deuteronomy 22:5 says, "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God." The parent who wants to make a young lady of a daughter should see to it that she does not wear revealing clothes, but that she dresses modestly. I Timothy 2:9 and 10 says, "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety: not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works."

This must be started early in the life of a girl. If she never wears pants for the first time, she will always wear skirts. If she never wears mini-skirts for the first time, she will always wear skirts of a modest length. In these days of hot pants, mini-skirts, and pant suits, may God give us some old-fashioned mothers and dads who well rear some sweet, feminine ladies for our boys and dress them accordingly.

2. Teach her strict obedience. Other chapters stress the fact that obedience is the most necessary ingredient to be required from the child. This is especially true in the life of a girl, for she must be obedient all of her life. The boy who is obedient to his mother and father will someday become the head of the home; not so for the girl. Whereas the boy is being trained to be a leader, the girl is being trained to be a follower. Hence, obedience is far more important to her, for she must someday transfer it from her parents to her husband.

This means that she should never be allowed to argue at all. She should become submissive and obedient. She must obey immediately, without question, and without argument. The parents who require this have done a big favor for their future son-in-law.

3. She should not be allowed to play alone with boys. The parents should see to it that she plays with other girls. This is important for many reasons. She should play only with toys that are uniquely for girls. This, by all means, should include dolls, doll clothes, housecleaning equipment, dishes, pots and pans, etc. She should participate in sports enough to become coordinated but she should not excel in sports. If later she marries a man who is very athletic, she could become more proficient in some particular sport that he enjoys, but if she becomes an expert in a sport that is usually associated with men and boys, it could prove embarrassing to her future husband, and for that matter, it could entice her to become more masculine than she ought to be.

4. Teach her how to be graceful in sitting, walking, etc. Every mother who has a daughter should be careful to show her how to sit like a lady, walk like a lady, and exhibit propriety and grace in her manners. (Note the chapter on MANNERS.)

5. Teach her to be an intelligent listener and an articulate conversationalist. She should read a variety of good books and magazines and have a wide variety of knowledge. It should be obvious to any male with whom she is conversing that she is an intelligent listener and that she can understand and respond to his conversation. She should never seem to know as much as he does (even though she may actually know more) but enough to talk intelligently about his interests and to make him feel that his conversation is falling on receptive ears and an understanding mind. This means that she should learn all she can about everything, especially things that interest men. For example, she should know football, but she should not play it. There is nothing a man wants any more than to be understood by an intelligent listener.

The wise lady will never "take over" the conversation. She will add just enough to make a valuable contribution and to show her intelligence on the subject, but she will always make her man feel that he is the more knowledgeable. Of course, as a girl like chooses a man, she will want to choose the kind that is at least her equal, the kind that she will not have to dominate, and the kind whose mind and conversation will always intrigue her. This means that the wise mother will teach her girl not to be a wallflower and not to attempt to get by on beauty alone. She will teach her to be the kind of young lady who has a beautiful spirit and a beautiful soul, one who can communicate, one who is understanding, and one who is quietly articulate in conversation.

Though she should not be a football fanatic she should know enough about football to enjoy watching the game with her boyfriend, fiancée, or husband, if he so chooses. It should be obvious to him that she is enjoying the game and that she is knowledgeable about it, but that he can teach her even more.

6. Teach her to make her dad feel like a hero. A young lady that can treat her dad properly is more likely to treat her husband properly. If she makes her dad feel like a man when he is in her presence, she will not doubt make her husband feel like a man when he is in her presence. If the daughter is careful to refill Dad's glass at the table, see to it that he gets the best chair, listen to him intelligently when he talks, participate intelligently, yet meekly in the conversion, she will someday transfer this to her husband and her husband will rise up and call her "blessed."

7. Teach her to have the proper heroines. The mother should be very careful to see to it that the daughter does not idolize Hollywood starlets, female athletes, etc., but rather, feminine, yet successful women like the Bible characters Hannah and Elisabeth, and characters in history like Susannah Wesley and Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Also point out feminine ladies whose path is crossed by the daughter and lead her to emulate them. It is very important that the young lady, even the girl, look up and idolize the right kind of people.

8. Teach her not to be too forward to boys. A young lady should not initiate a correspondence. If she cars for a boy she may respond to him with courtesy and feminine reserve so as to let him know she like him, but she should not be the aggressor, neither should her respond except within the bounds of propriety and right. It certainly is not proper for a young lady to call a young man on the telephone for a social talk, If there is obvious business, it may be done with reluctance, but it should never be done when the call is strictly for social purposes.

9. Do not show off her talent to others. As is mentioned elsewhere in this book it is far better for a parent to compliment character than talent. Many children have been ruined because their parents were too proud of them and their performances. This not only hurts the child but it disgusts other adults. In such cases the child receives far too much attention and then wants it for the rest of her life. Hence, she becomes maladjusted. Let her gain her own attention by her performance. Let her attract her own audience by her own ability and opportunities, not by the insistence of a mother or father who is overly proud of a daughter.

10. Let her do things that enable her to be a necessary help to another who is in the limelight. This is very important for a young lady. That is why learning to accompany a soloist is good training for a girl. Learning to take dictation is also good training. Both of these things train her to be a necessary helper to someone who is in the limelight. The Bible teaches that a woman is made not for the limelight but to complement and supplement. Proverbs 32:23 says, "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land."

The girl should be taught that her lot in life is to be obedient and helpful to her husband. Hence, if as a girl she can perform supplemental duties that are vital, she will be better equipped to be a well-adjusted lady. It is more important that a young lady be an accompanist on a piano than a concert pianist. Parents who train their daughter in this manner will someday be called, "blessed," by their son-in-law.

11. Teach her to pull for her dad. The wise mother will teach the girl to make a hero of her father and always pull for him. She should pull for him in business and do all she can to help. She should pull for him in any athletic contest and do all she can to cheer him to victory. In everything he does she should stand on the sidelines and root for her dad. She is being taught to root for the biggest man in her life and to cheer and spur him on to bigger heights. When she is married she will transfer this to her husband and will be a great encouragement to him.

The mother must teach the daughter that when the father is a success the daughter is also a success. She is a very vital part in his success, and as a member of the team she can share the victory and the spoils. When this attitude is properly developed she will feel the same way when she is married. When the husband wins a victory it will be a team victory rather than a victory just for him.

12. Teach her to plan for a profession but to hope that it will not be needed. Mothers and fathers should teach their daughters to train for some kind of profession that is always in demand. There is always the possibility that the daughter will never marry or that she will become a widow with children to rear and will not remarry. Because of this she should plan to pursue some profession that will enable her to support herself and her children in any eventuality. She should be taught that if possible, she should not follow this profession when married. This gives her a dependence, if the opportunity arises to be dependent, but an independence if needed. There are many professions that a young lady could pursue such as that of a school teacher, beautician, secretary, nurse, etc.

13. Teach her the sanctity of the body. Teach her that boys should keep their hands off and that her body should be clean in every way. She should care for her body. She should be well groomed and physically clean. Then she should also be moral and virtuous. Talk with her about situations which arise in the lives of most young ladies. Teach her how to handle each situation. Explain to her that that is the reason she should not be in a car alone with a boy. Teach her what to do if improper advances are made. Let her be conscious of the fact that her body is a very sacred thing and should always be treated as the temple of the Holy Spirit.

14. Teach her to do feminine chores. As is mentioned elsewhere it is better for a girl to do the dishes than the yard, to wash the pots and pans than the car, to clean the bedroom rather than the garage. She should do the duties that she will do when she is married and a successful mother and wife.

Much stress should be placed on the importance of her working hard. It is not feminine to be lazy. In fact, it is quite feminine to work hard. It is not working hard that makes one unfeminine; it is the doing of masculine tasks. Wise is that mother who teaches her daughter that good hard work is feminine and that the work a woman should do should be that of feminine chores.

15. Let her be around feminine women. Teach her to associate with ladies who are feminine. Point them out to her when she is a little girl and tell her they are the ones she should copy and emulate. Let these ladies be those who dress like ladies, talk like ladies, walk with feminine grace, sit with feminine charm. Let these be ladies who are good mothers and who have poise, dedication, chastity, consecration, and spirituality.

16. Let her baby-sit. It should be remembered that someday she will no doubt be a mother. She can prepare herself for this and train for it by caring for little ones while she is a teenager. When a girl gets around thirteen, she should becomes acquainted with taking care of little babies and small children. Her motherly instinct will be developed and nourished. This is very important in preparing her to be a successful and happy mother.

17. Let her care for younger girls in the family. Let her dress them, do their hair, wash their faces, etc. Even a girl seven or eight can care for a little sister. She should be encouraged to do so. This will teach her to fulfill responsibilities, to carry the load in the family circle, to work hard, and to prepare herself for motherhood.

18. Allow her to do no loud shouting or hollering. In fact, such should not be a part of anyone's household. The business of rearing children can be transacted without shouting or fussing. Especially should this be true in a girl, for the parent is to try in every way to make her quiet, meek, and feminine.

19. With the passing of the years, let her shop more for herself, and if she has younger sisters, let her aid them in doing their shopping. This will teach her to care for her own person and also for the needs of others.

The most noble goal that parents can set for their daughters is to help them become Christians. The second most noble goal is to lead them to be ladies, for one of the great needs of our generation is Christian ladies. May God use this chapter to make it so.

Psalms 11:7, “For the righteous LORD loveth righteousness; his countenance doth behold the upright.”

I very much admire the following words below, penned by David Hyles to address his army of internet critics; but first, let me give you some introduction. David is the beloved son of Dr. Jack Hyles (1926-2001), the legendary former pastor of the First Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana for over 42 years. It is no secret that all humans are sinners by birth, inherent to our nature. David Hyles' has been much criticized for his sins and bad choices in life, but he has repented openly and apologized. Yet, the diatribes (thundering verbal attacks) from David critics are relentless, merciless and saturated with hated.

The Bible teaches that some people's sins are open (known) beforehand here on earth (such as David's). But the Bible teaches that everyone else's sins will follow them and be revealed in eternity, causing shame and reproach...

1st Timothy 5:24, “Some men's sins are open beforehand,
going before to judgment; and some men they follow after.”

David Hyles' alleged sins are openly known beforehand, just as the Bible teaches; but every person who has ever been born is a sinner and our sins will be made open for all to see in eternity. No one will be able to retain a cocky and arrogant attitude toward others who have sinned when we stand in judgment before God. If the truth be known, everyone is a horrible sinner. People who are fortunate enough to live above reproach find it easy to condemn others who openly sin (or their sins become openly revealed). If all of our sins were known, no one would ever be able to slander, gossip or criticize others who sin. NO ONE is a shining example to be held up as the standard of perfection, except the precious Lord Jesus Christ, Who is the spotless “Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world” (John 1:29).

In his own words, David Hyles appeals to his critics with God's love, pointing out five evils caused by their hurtful attacks...

“First you are hurting the lost. Several years ago I worked with a young man who knew I was a Christian. This young man was searching. He had dabbled into several religions in his search. He respected me and began to question me about Christ. God was working in his life and I felt he was very close to accepting Christ as his Savior. Someone, in an attempt to hurt my business began circulating an email through my workplace and he received it, anonymously, of course. He never again listened to me and eventually our paths parted. I pray every day for God to save him. It was not MY sins that turned him away. No, actually it was the evil spirit of those my accusers who claimed to be Christians. He wanted no part of that.

Secondly, you are hurting the fallen. Countless Christians have seen what you have done to me and to others who have fallen and decided to just disappear rather than being restored. I believe that there have been suicides and other tragedies that could have been prevented if a fallen brother or sister had felt there was hope. You diatribes on your filthy forums serve Satan’s purpose well.

Thirdly you are hurting those who I have hurt. Please hear me on this. Every fallen pastor or Christian leaves hurting people in their sinful wake. I did. I know that. It breaks my heart. David did too and his heart was broken. There is little we can do to repair the damage. Their deliverance must come from God and it will not come from revenge or retribution. It will come only from forgiveness. Please allow God to be God and to deal with his children as He will. Stay out of it and encourage those who have been hurt to find their peace from God not from your vigilante system of internet justice.

Allow me to elaborate on this just a bit more. People who are hurt by a sinner are destroyed by bitterness. No one’s sin can destroy your life. Our loving Father would not allow that. He stands ready as a loving Father to pick you up and mend your broken heart. Sinners (and that includes us all) do bad things that affect other’s lives. For all have sinned… However, if we get them to take their eyes off of the offender and place it on the Savior they can be healed. Closure does not come from our flawed idea of justice. It comes from letting God heal us even as He deals with the one who offended or hurt us.

Fourthly you are hurting you! The manure you are hurling fails to hit me but your hands sure do smell of the filth you have no business picking up. I am sorry for the pain that makes you feel that somehow you will gain some kind of satisfaction from trying to hurt me. I wish this book could give you the peace you are lacking but I sincerely doubt it will.

Finally and most importantly, you are hurting the Father. I have news for you that is not going to please you, but here goes. GOD LOVES ME and I AM SAVED AND FORGIVEN! I fell but, you see, when a Christian falls we do not fall away from grace, we fall into it, hence the name of this book. I am in His grace and one day I will stand before Him clothed in the righteousness of His Son and not the sin of my own. Why would you dare try and hurt the heart of God? Is it because there is unconfessed sin in your life? Are you so far from Him that you have lost the sweetness of His mercy and grace in your own life? That is sad.”

We are all sinners. Who are you, me or anyone else to condemn someone for their sins. James 4:12, “There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?” God is our eternal Judge, and we are cautioned to be careful how we judge others, for the Lord will treat us the same way that we treat others (Matthew 7:1-5).

I love what David Hyles says about “Fallen Into Grace,” rather than “falling from grace” as Calvinists errantly teach. When the apostle Paul speaks of falling from grace, he simply means that a person who rejects Christ cannot be saved any other way. Galatians 5:4, “Christ is become of no effect unto you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; ye are fallen from grace.” False teachers say that a believer loses their salvation when they sin. The Bible calls them liars. Being born-again is a birth (a spiritual, second, new birth), and is as irreversible as the first, physical, natural birth. If saved, always saved!

Some people are so filled with malicious hatred that they have decided that David Hyles could never be saved. The Bible warns in Matthew 7:1-5 that God will one day judge critics and scorners by the SAME measure by which they have judged others. So if you mistreat someone and condemn them without mercy, God will treat you the same one day unless you repent. I would 10,000 times rather be a humiliated big sinner in men's eyes, than to be a self-righteous hypocrite who's filled with hatred and scorn toward someone who has sinned. To point a finger of condemnation at anyone is to have three of our own fingers pointing right back at us.

When a Christian sins, we are not fallen from grace; but rather, we have fallen into God's wondrous grace. God's mercy is abundant. The Lord promises to forgive those who come to Him. 1st John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

I also love what David Hyles says...

“I am in His grace and one day I will stand before Him clothed in the righteousness of His Son and not the sin of my own.”

David Hyles as a genuine Christian fully realizes that salvation is only possible through Christ's imputed righteousness, and not by any self-righteousness of our own. Christ bore our burden of sins upon Himself on the cross. There's no way that you nor I, nor anyone else, could ever bear the weight of our own sins. Have you ever found yourself looking at an impossible situation, wondering how your life could ever become so messed up, realizing that there's no way humanly possible to ever make things right? I've been there! But when I had those thoughts the Lord impressed a truth upon my heart, saying, “You're right, you could never make things right, no matter how hard you try. That's why I went to the cross and paid your sin debt... so I could make things right!” It's Jesus precious blood that He sacrificed for our sins that makes everything right in God's eyes!

Many religious people are trying to make things right in their own human strength, as did Adam with his fig-leaf religion. God rejected Adam's fig-leaves and killed an innocent animal instead, shedding its blood which represented the coming Lamb of God, the Messiah, Who would one day die on the cross for the sins of the world. Thank you Lord Jesus!

Conclusion

When the truth is known, ALL PEOPLE will be exposed as wicked and shameful sinners. When asked to give the name of the worst and most horrible sinners we know, most people tend to think of people besides them self. This is the hypocritical nature of humanity. This is why all gossip is sinful and wrong, that is, because we are just as sinful as the people that we criticize. James 4:12, “There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?” No one has any right to talk bad in public about Christians who have fallen. Satan always brings up past sins to discourage us, but the Holy Spirit only convicts us about present sins that need to be confessed and forsaken.

A person is never more like Satan than when they point a finger of damnation toward others. Revelation 12:10, “And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.” Satan accuses believers round-the-clock before the throne of God, continually pointing out the hypocrisy, sins and failures of God's children. Most gossip is true, which is what makes it so dangerous. Proverbs 11:9, “An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered.”

David's enemies will condemn him to his grave, as did king David's enemies in the Bible; but thanks be to God, only God can condemn a person to Hell and there is no condemnation upon Christian believers who have faith in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). The Lord showed me one day while reading the Psalms that the reason for king David's enemies was his sins of adultery, conspiracy and murder. The words “enemy” and “enemies” appear 103 times in Psalms. David's enemies condemned him to his grave, continually trying to destroy him, but God protected him.

The Lord knows that I have many enemies as a fighting fundamental preacher, and many people slander and say garbage about me all the time. I don't read gossip, so it cannot affect me. I don't know what my critics say about me. I'm too busy serving the Lord to stop and see how I'm doing or what critics are saying about me. The only opinion that matters to me is God's. Revelation 4:11 says that we were all created for God's pleasure.

Thank God for the gift of His dear only begotten Son, Jesus, the Christ. If it weren't for God's love, mercy and grace that sent Jesus to Calvary to shed His blood for our sins, we would all be doomed to eternity in Hell.

Ironically, the very scorners who accuse fallen Christians of not being saved are likely not saved themselves. The Bible teaches that hatred for others is a sign that we've never been saved. 1st John 3:15-16, “Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him. Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” Dr. Hyles often stated in his sermons that, “The Christian army is the only army in the world that slays its wounded.” This is because most believers are carnally-minded, walking in the flesh instead of the Spirit. Galatians 5:25, “If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.” Every Christian believer has the Holy Spirit living within their body (1st Corinthians 3:17-18; Romans 8:9). The Bible is saying in Galatians 3:25 that we ought to also walk in the Spirit Who indwells us. As Christians we continually have to decide whether we are going to walk in the sinful flesh or the Spirit of God Who came to live within us the moment that we were born-again (saved). It's a constant battle (Romans 7:14-25; 1st Peter 2:11).

All men and women are sinners. We are not sinners because we sin; but rather, we sin because we are sinners. Jeremiah 17:9 teaches that the human heart is desperately wicked and deceitful above all else. The Bible plainly teaches that all men are equally as guilty of sin in God's eyes. James 2:10, “For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.” Committing even one sin is enough to send a person to the Lake of Fire forever and ever. That's why God sent His Son into the world to die on Calvary's cross to pay our sin debt.

So please remember, whoever you may be, that when we sin as Christian believers we don't fall from grace; but rather, we fall into God's grace because of the imputed righteousness of Jesus Christ.